keeping secrets Posted March 5, 2008 Share Posted March 5, 2008 haha Who? I dont need a milion dollars or a dick in my mouth.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1988 Posted March 5, 2008 Share Posted March 5, 2008 Whoever, if the shoe fits... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heel.moeilijk Posted March 5, 2008 Share Posted March 5, 2008 ive been in the gay porn or your girlfriend dies situation like 12 times. i only did it the first time. gay porn pays a lot more than straight porn. i know this because ive been in the "straight porn or your boyfriend dies" situation several times as well. for a one time million dollar pitching fee? i don't know' date=' i'd seriously contemplate that. i'd just close my eyes, and sing "benny and the jets" really loud while i'm doing it. but i wouldn't sing the elton john version, because that's mighty gay.[/quote'] :lol::lol::lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BruceLeroy Posted March 5, 2008 Share Posted March 5, 2008 ask her if she would let you pee in her butt for a cool 20 clams? she how she likes it... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyler Durden Posted March 5, 2008 Share Posted March 5, 2008 i know this because ive been in the "straight porn or your boyfriend dies" situation several times as well. funny, i've been asked about the same situation several times myself. what the fuck is wrong with girls? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keeping secrets Posted March 5, 2008 Share Posted March 5, 2008 seriously. I wouldnt suck a dick for a million dollars if it was coated in sugar or diamonds or cheesy potatos. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tuff Tone Posted March 5, 2008 Share Posted March 5, 2008 "I have a couple questions. I have just came out and would like to know the risk of my friend giving me anal sex with his tongue. Also, what are the risk of receiving oral sex? Thanks." "How can I really get my butt clean (inside and out) before I have sex with my boyfriend or dosn't it really matter?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tuff Tone Posted March 5, 2008 Share Posted March 5, 2008 Dear 12oz, I have a problem. I've never considered myself gay, but I have begun to care for my best friend a little more than I think I should. I get jealous when he finds a woman he likes, and begins going out with her, and I have become very protective of him, since he is a few years younger than me. I don't know if I am just a little jealous that he is able to find someone, and I am not, or if I am gay and am beginning to like him in that way. When I think about it, he fits my idea of my perfect mate. And I often wonder what his penis size is. Help me. Do you think I am gay, or just suffering from jealousy and penis envy? I'm gonna be rich Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keeping secrets Posted March 5, 2008 Share Posted March 5, 2008 LLMMMAAAAOOOOO That went perfect with this cup of coffee and work related stress.. Thank you tuff tone. props. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
earl broclo ESQ Posted March 5, 2008 Author Share Posted March 5, 2008 Yea but you really wouldnt though, because when there is a dude standing behind you gripping your shoulders while he thrusts his junk between your cheeks thats just something that no homo can overcome, no matter how blood curdlingly loud you scream it... whoa, you read my answer all wrong. see, you said when she asked me this hypothetical question, i should go on google and show her an image of tits or gtfo. to which i said "you want me to treat our conversation like a 12oz thread?" then you said that would make daily life a lot easier. so i said "if i'm going to treat the conversation like a 12oz thread, i'll just answer her question "Yes" followed by no/homo. meaning i would be treating it like a thread, and not a real life conversation. i've never once said "no/homo" or "tits or gtfo" in the real world. so i wasn't saying i was going to bend over and let some dude butt punch me. i don't know where you got that idea. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hayabusa Posted March 5, 2008 Share Posted March 5, 2008 HAHAHAHAHHAAHAH some-1 the winnar Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keeping secrets Posted March 5, 2008 Share Posted March 5, 2008 Im done. Just done. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Milk Grenades Posted March 5, 2008 Share Posted March 5, 2008 hahhaa...if anyone ever offered you a million dollars. you better start sucking some dick. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Some1 Posted March 5, 2008 Share Posted March 5, 2008 Milk... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metronome Posted March 5, 2008 Share Posted March 5, 2008 me and my girlfriend were watching team america right after the scene where Gary sucks Spotsworth dick (or whatever the fuck his name is) she says something like "wow Gary sucked his dick to save Lisa's life..." .... "Would you suck someones dick to save my life?" I start laughing and say NO Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AllTheWrongWords Posted March 5, 2008 Share Posted March 5, 2008 Milk... No she dont need to. Shes earned her way past that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tuff Tone Posted March 5, 2008 Share Posted March 5, 2008 hahhaa...if anyone ever offered you a million dollars. you better start sucking some dick. :lol::lol::lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Milk Grenades Posted March 5, 2008 Share Posted March 5, 2008 No she dont need to. Shes earned her way past that. aww you're sweet;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harvey Wallbanger Posted March 5, 2008 Share Posted March 5, 2008 Jesus Christ, this thread is fucking hilarious. And erotic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Milk Grenades Posted March 5, 2008 Share Posted March 5, 2008 homo erotica..........flashdance! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lesbian Fisting Posted March 5, 2008 Share Posted March 5, 2008 Would you do gay porn for a klondike bar? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dirty Messican Posted March 5, 2008 Share Posted March 5, 2008 Is 10mill worth HIV? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
En Sabah Nur Posted March 5, 2008 Share Posted March 5, 2008 Save the cheerleader. Suck a dick. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
earl broclo ESQ Posted March 5, 2008 Author Share Posted March 5, 2008 ..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Milk Grenades Posted March 5, 2008 Share Posted March 5, 2008 .... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iloveboxcars Posted March 5, 2008 Share Posted March 5, 2008 oh, yeah...who hasn't? psshhht....would you care to elaborate on this? It was late March in 1992, I recall this time vividly because my mothers cherry blossoms were just beginning to bloom. My girlfriend at the time, the late Ms. Emily Friedrickson, who bares a striking resemblance to Cher, and I were on our way to back packing through the hindu-kush when we happened upon a small market in what otherwise seemed like an abandoned villiage. I glanced at my watch as we entered, 11:37am. There was a crows reflection in the glass of my watch, I didn't take notice of it then which turned out to be a grave mistake. Everyone knows crows are not native to this area and the bird was none other than Jenkins, one of Mr. Bouleguards shapeshifting henchmen. We bought several breads and fruits for our journey, as well as some jugs for the transport of liquids. We emptied our Welch's grape juice juice box's into the jugs, corked them and continued our journey. As we entered the first part of our ascent Ms. Emily Friedrickson felt a presence, I felt it as well but had made no mention of it. Had Mr. Bouleguard found us? We had no time to waste, it was dusk and we had yet to find a suitable place to set up camp for the night. Right before everything became encompassed by darkness we found a small cave. Well, overhang might be a better word for it. Little did we know it was another one of Mr. Bouleguard's illusions, and we were already trapped inside his dungeon of bdsm, which closely resembled the room that me and Ms. Emily Friedrickson kept locked when we had visitors. When we awoke in the morning we had finally come to the conclusion that we were now in the clutches of Mr. Bouleguard and his evil doctors Swanson, Jameson and Phong. Ms. Emily Friedrickson was tied to what appeared to be a bowflex, but doubting Mr. Bouleguard wanted us to reach our peak physical condition I determined it must be a new torture machine Mr. Bouleguard had gotten on the black market. Me and Ms. Emily Friedrickson always tried to stay up on the new contraptions involved with our little hobby, but Mr. Bouleguard seemed to always be a couple steps a head of us. They had me laying on my back on a wooden table my arms tied behind the table by way of 2 arm holes. Mr. Bouleguard entered after some time. He was wearing a top hat with a red ribbon encircling it and a pin stripe vest. Nothing more. He gleefully informed me that if I wish for Ms. Emily Friedrickson to continue living I must have homosexual sex with him and his shape shifting companion Jenkins. Jenkins will be in the form of a hamster while we have intercourse he told me with a glint in his eye and a slight smirk. I agreed, Ms. Emily Friedrickson meant the world to me and I was willing to do anything in order to be with her again. (this part sensored) When I finally came to I was laying on the cold concrete. Bruises, cuts, scratches and pressure marks covered my body, but I was no longer tied to anything. I got up and searched for my clothes. Everyone had left and I had begun to worry if Mr. Bouleguard planned on keeping his word. Then I saw it. Laying on the floor almost directly beside where I had been laying but was too careless to look was the severed head of Ms. Emily Friedrickson. A pool of blood was still growing, as if they had done it as recently as I had awoken. I ran over to her, held her head up and gave her one last kiss. As I pulled away a string of spit mixed with blood grabbed my lip and hers. When it finally split I realized I had to find Mr. Bouleguard and his henchmen for this horrible act, but that my friends, is another story. I learned many things that day, but the most important thing was never trust a man named Mr. Bouleguard to keep his promises when it comes to the life of your loved ones. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Milk Grenades Posted March 5, 2008 Share Posted March 5, 2008 hahahaa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twinky the kid Posted March 5, 2008 Share Posted March 5, 2008 so what would you all say to your girl if she put this question on you? id let her talk to this: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keeping secrets Posted March 5, 2008 Share Posted March 5, 2008 HAHAHAHA I love boxcars.. It is I! Mr. Bouleguard! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keeping secrets Posted March 5, 2008 Share Posted March 5, 2008 wait.. No homo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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