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FREIGHTYONE

lies you've told...

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We all lie, at some point in our lives. I lie daily for pesonal gain and satisfaction. Here's some of my better ones:

-I broke up with a girl by telling her I was HIV positive

-I told a previous employer that I was Jewish so I could take all of the various holidays throughout the year off, and at the same time make people feel uncomfortable around me during Christmas and Easter.

-I told the same employer that my mother had died in a really terrible car accident, and I was having trouble paying for the arrangements. They passed a card around and people donated $400 or so. I spent it all on drugs and then took three weeks off and went to Los Angeles to visit freinds.

 

Lets here some of yours. I know there's a bunch of scumbags in here. I have better ones also, I'll share more later.

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wow i am an asshole but you sir...are a freakin scumbag...congrats!!!

 

 

I lied this weekend telling a booking agent that I crashed my motorcycle to cancel a show so I could go to a party...

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i smashed a bottle of beer over some girls head at a bar, and then we i almost got thrown out by the bouncer i apologized and said i've never done anything like that before and it was her fault cause i'm a buddhist.

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I told my friend my cousin had just died that day to get him to pay for food. I cried and everything then as I bit into the cheeseburger I started busting up with laughter.

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i was just trying to think of more lies i've told, but i've realized i'm too honest...sometimes brutally honest and i hurt people's feelings.

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I told a group of people one night that I was German and i talked in a fake accent and used mock German with a buddy for the whole night.

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I talked in the third person the entire night at a party full of people who never met me before.

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I told my old history teacher that I really did write that MLK essay which she then sent in an I won a statewide award for it but the crazy part is if it was that big of a deal why didn't anyone check to see that I copied the fuckin thing from a book.

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I told a group of people one night that I was German and i talked in a fake accent and used mock German with a buddy for the whole night.

 

hahahaha i did this exact same thing

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throughout highschool i told all my teachers that i had a overactive bladder so i could get up and leave class whenever i needed to...i could just walk out...i would use that time to steal sodas...and smoke...

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This is the funniest thing I have ever done prolly...

 

First day of my 1 semester in college I walk into my english class with nobody I know in it. I sit in the back by myself. He is going down the attendance list getting names or people. He comes to me ****** ******* I raise my hand and for me just for me he is like uhhh Is there any names you like to be called besides ****** I just sat there in my mind like why did this dude do it just for me?! and calmly spoke yea my friends call me Roger... I got a couple chuckles in the class like WTF!? But I sat there stone faced and for the whole semester the dude called me Roger.

 

I still see people from the class that jokingly call me Roger still. Its pretty funny.

 

It would be funnier if yall knew my real name but that aint gonna happen...

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i dont really lie unless i have to end a relationship. usually within the first couple of days.

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i basically have only lied to smash. usually about my age / ethnicity / job / school. all the basics

 

and yeah defiantly told my boss a bunch of lies when i was working.

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Some of you should really kill yourselves

Not all of you...some of those lies sound funny in a-you had to be there sorta way

One of two of you sound like really...really are sad people. Including the threadstarter. Yep!

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I told a 21 year I was fuckign with at the time I was 18. I was 16...

 

 

I told a 30 year old teacher I was getting with (not my teacher but she tought my friends sisters) that I was 21 when I was 17...

 

I still go there now and again...

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I was at a party when I was 15, or I had just turned 16 and I fucked with this 30 year old. I said I was 19, in art school. I was the youngest there...with my fake age lol. She was bad. She was like "It would be illegal if we kissed" when I told her my age. I pulled out the laws are meant to be broken.

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Some of you should really kill yourselves

Not all of you...some of those lies sound funny in a-you had to be there sorta way

One of two of you sound like really...really are sad people. Including the threadstarter. Yep!

 

I'm going to convince my girl to tell her boss that I killed myself, then she can take a few weeks off and we can go to Atlantic City and blow her money on horse racing and high stakes poker. Thanks for the advice.

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