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Dear ________,


suca

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Re: Dear ________, - no homo

 

DEAR BOYFRIEND

 

why you gotta be like that? tryin to wake my ass up wayyy to early so i 'get to' please you before you go to your crummy job? dont try and play like i dont put out, but i AINT your on call girl, who drops everything whenever you feel like gettin down. shit doesnt work that way.

 

 

damn.

 

 

-pissed off and offended

egosssssssssssssssssssss

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Re: Dear ________, - no homo

 

Dear NEXT TWELVE MONTHS,

 

You will create a nice change for me hopefully. I need you to provide me with a better looking body via madd gym sessions. I need you to provide me with about 10 or so new friends who don't do drugs, don't constantly drink or who are assholes. I need you to provide me with a very beautiful and intelligent woman so I can spend my nights smoking blunts and cuddling with her instead of beating my cock or chilling with people I don't even like. I know things are good happy-wise for me right now, but nowhere near what I need and have always wanted. If I can keep my game on for the duration of you I will be 100x more the shit at the end than I am now.

 

Sincerely,

 

Goochee

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Re: Dear ________, - no homo

 

Dear cellular looking like a house weigh like a brick phone-

You look like you were made in the 80’s. Sometimes that’s

not so cool because everyone else has spiffy shit that talks, sings, and makes

breakfast. Last night I dropped you something furious and

you didn’t even ding. I know I have talked mad shit

about you in the past but the dropage last night just reminded me

how much I really need you because going through five phones in one year is fucking up my funds. Thanks for being something

I can actually count on.

Loving and hating-B. Fish

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