!@#$% Posted June 26, 2013 Share Posted June 26, 2013 Oh God, my balls I_R Dear I_R !@#$% Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rolf Harris Posted June 26, 2013 Share Posted June 26, 2013 dear offshore work... if you're gonna happen, then please happen soon... i really can't be fucked otherwise... i don't even know if i want you as a career choice... it's only the good money that i'm chasing... Rolf Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CALIgula Posted June 26, 2013 Share Posted June 26, 2013 dear filipino guy at the gym, you kicked our asses in racquetball. i lost 15 to 2 :( cG Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ms.seyer Posted June 26, 2013 Share Posted June 26, 2013 Dear Cali, My peoples! :lol: -seyseysey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CALIgula Posted June 27, 2013 Share Posted June 27, 2013 dear seyseysey, yeah...dude was an older flip..i could tell he was by his accent. cG Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theprotester Posted June 27, 2013 Share Posted June 27, 2013 Dear pro's dreams, It's be super swell if you could distinguish yourself a little bit better from real life. It is awfully awkward talking to someone about an act and them staring blankly and telling you they weren't even at that spot last night. Cheers, thepro Dear Realism, As long as beer wasn't the reason you didn't bite your tongue in the first place... Enjoy. Cheers, thepro Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThatDrawingBitch Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 Dear Real Life, Fuck off and die. I wanna stay in this little bubble forever. Dear Decy, This week... you know what's up xx Dear 12oz, How y'all doing? Had a good week? Happy Friday! xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ms.seyer Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 Dear liver, Sorry for the abuse you'll be going through this weekend. It's all for the love of my best friend. -seyseysorry Dear dude, You're so gonna get it when this is done. -ms.firstname ps: just the tip is cool too. please and thank you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CILONE/SK Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 Ms sey Sounds like you are referencing anal in your last post. Cil Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sleazeside Heights Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 dear personal projects, i'm going to get to you soon enough when i quit this job, can't wait! -sleaz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Realism Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 Dear protestor, Beer was not to blame, just me being a bit of a general cock. Live and learn! -Realism Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ms.seyer Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 Ms sey Sounds like you are referencing anal in your last post. Cil Dear CIL, If I was into anal the dude would marry me. -sey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CALIgula Posted June 30, 2013 Share Posted June 30, 2013 dear heat wave, fuck off! seriously....anything over 100 is overkill, but 109?!?...gtfoh. oh and i heard vegas and phoenix have gotten it worse. cG Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThatDrawingBitch Posted July 2, 2013 Share Posted July 2, 2013 Dear Landlord, a three part haiku for you. My god, you suck ass you pervy south african cunt; how i hate you gross permatanned cock, stop touching the nubile teens, almost-paedophile I'll get revenge when I put your toothbrush asswards and prawns in your room Dear Dear__________ thread, How is everything? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theprotester Posted July 2, 2013 Share Posted July 2, 2013 Dear SeySey, Better than you, apparently, but thanks for asking. I'm trying to summon up the courage to ask a girl out, it would be well and truly punching above my weight, but we get along very well and she can hold a conversation intently. I think it's worth a shot, but she works at my favourite spot, so I don't want shit to get awkward. Cheers, thePro Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CALIgula Posted July 2, 2013 Share Posted July 2, 2013 Dear TDB, i lol'd irl at your haiku. cG Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThatDrawingBitch Posted July 3, 2013 Share Posted July 3, 2013 Dear Cali, Ha, cheers dude. I only ever seem to write haikus to people who have proper fucked me off. Next up is the cuntnozzle at one of the print-houses I have to deal with whose nose is probably bigger than either his dick or his brain. Everything good with you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Realism Posted July 3, 2013 Share Posted July 3, 2013 Dear TDB, Very offensive to assume he's a Jew; don't write him a snarky haiku based on that. -Realism Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThatDrawingBitch Posted July 4, 2013 Share Posted July 4, 2013 Dear TDB, Very offensive to assume he's a Jew; don't write him a snarky haiku based on that. -Realism Dear Realism, I can't even save the amount of edits it's taken for mybrain to catch up with what's going on. The amount of twists my mental journey has taken is staggering. Argh. I don't know whether I have genuinely offended you or not. I need emoticons dammit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CALIgula Posted July 4, 2013 Share Posted July 4, 2013 dear tdb, nope everything is not good with me. :( two days ago i was driving home from work at 1:30am on the freeway and all of a sudden i ran over a bunch of debris that i didnt see until the last second....what ever it was sliced my front right tire in two places. so at 1:30 am, in the dark on the side of the freeway on a hot day (it was about 108 degrees all day and still in the upper 80s by 1am) i jacked up my car, took off the lugnuts, removed my tire and put on the spare from the trunk. decided to take the side streets home instead of the freeway and spare tire blows out in the middle of the hood. by this time it was about 2:30am. had to call my gf, wake her up from her sleep (she had to wake up at 5am for work)..asked her for ride to parents house..call mom, wake her up and ask her for a ride in the morning to tire shop. empty car of valuables, parked it and left it in the hood..got to sleep at 4am. wake up at 7:30am...mom gives me ride to tire shop (since gf is at work)...buy a used tire for $25...take tire to hood (luckily car is still there and hasnt been broken into) at 9:00pm and proceed to put used tire on car (in roughly 90degree weather). ask dad to buy me new tire and tell him i will pay him back....nap...6 hours later...wake up...dad bought me new tire and new rim..and had it put on my car...says i owe him $140. today...go to tire shop again...buy a used spare tire for $20...since hubcap doesnt fit on new rim, ask the pakistani guy at the tire shop to take off new tire and new rim and put the new tire on old rim and put the used tire on the new rim (for a back up)...guys say ok, but $10 per tire ($20 more dollars)...i say ok and pay him another $20....drive back to parents house...drive to bank to withdraw some money to pay dad back....notice my hubcap is missing....now i have to shell out another $40 for a new set of hubcaps (or just go to the junkyard). so far ive spent $205...depending on whether or not I buy a new set of hubcaps, i might spend a bit more. #fuckmylife :( cG Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThatDrawingBitch Posted July 4, 2013 Share Posted July 4, 2013 Dear Cali, Dude, that sucks ass, I'm sorry. That sound like the kind of infuriating mission that would make me lose my shit completely with frustration (I'm assuming, I can't drive). Toss up whether nice new hubcaps would make up for it. Doo you care about hubcaps (hha, seriously, I know nothing much about cars)? If your car looked moreawesome, would it help alleviate the shitness of the situation? Also, flowers for your mum and gf. Or chocolate, or spraypaint, whatever they're into. If it helps, at least your transport is your own and you don't have to share underground space with someone who deems it appropirate to tape a wad of tissue over his nose. I have no idea why. All I know is I will never forget him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThatDrawingBitch Posted July 4, 2013 Share Posted July 4, 2013 Dear Realism, Of course you're not seriously offended. Shit. You get the joke I made. Dear TDB, You're a dick sometimes. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MedicineCabinet Posted July 4, 2013 Share Posted July 4, 2013 dear cali, you dont deserve that shit. good vibes sent your way -orange peel Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CALIgula Posted July 4, 2013 Share Posted July 4, 2013 dear TDB, yeah, i have 3 stock hubcaps and missing one makes the car look really shitty...so i probably will just get one from the junkyard...if i can find one that fits, it would definitely alleviate the shitiness. also, yeah, im planning on taking mom & dad out to a nice restaurant for some steaks....as for the gf, she doesnt like chocolate or flowers...she keeps hinting at a ring, but that shit aint happenin anytime soon! lol jk ..i dunno. on the bright side, i had some stickers in my car, so i got off a couple slaptags on the freeway and in the hood. cG dear MedCab, thanks man! i need it!...july has started off way too shitty. oh, by the way...i was talking to a co-worker who used to live close to your city (he's a dual citizen) and he told me the best way to visit tdot is to fly to detroit and rent a car and drive to the border....does that sound about right? ...yes? no? maybe? cG Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThatDrawingBitch Posted July 4, 2013 Share Posted July 4, 2013 Dear Cali, Hmm. Intriguing there. The hubcap thing is good though; go for it. Dear Most og Hiphop and Rap, It's sweet you wanna talk about feminism on my behalf but a) it's usually kinda sexist and patronising and b) you wanna make DAMN sure your beats and production are stellar. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MedicineCabinet Posted July 4, 2013 Share Posted July 4, 2013 dear caligula, honestly have no idea, but figure the easiest way is to just fly from point a to b. wish i could help ya out with some knowledge, but havent left this place in way too long.. should go on a vacation breather or something myself -apologetically unhelpful mc Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Realism Posted July 4, 2013 Share Posted July 4, 2013 Dear TDB, Don't tell me how I feel. Nah, not offended. I just took the chance and made hilarious and offensive assumptions to have a joke. Although I have been stopped by groups of Hasidic/orthodox Jews peddling literature, so I'm honorary. -Realism Dear Cali, Hope that sorts out man. -Realism Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThatDrawingBitch Posted July 4, 2013 Share Posted July 4, 2013 Dear Realism, I had been drinking, and smoking, and lugging literally twice my own bodyweight in stuff from one county to another; my brain so did not wanna work out whether you were serious and then I overthought my response too much! Ha! I have a real soft spot for Orth/Has Jewish peoples in a way that I don't have one for any other religion. Not sure why. I'm glad I didn't offend you though haha! Without further delay, here is my haiku about the printhouse dick: Dear PC, FUCKING USELESS TOSS print company, now please hire Someone who gets it I know more bout specs than any of the morons you have working there And PC is RUDE BELLIGERENT, ARROGANT And I will kick him Kick him in the dick and balls and face and head, if he doesn't watch it Speak to me like that I will find you, and ruin Your pointless bitch life. (Basically, it's entire print house ful of people who do not understand print spec. I make ads for papers, and one paper in particular has a 2 part approval system for PDFs, so they'll go through client-side but not print-side, WHICH. MAKES. NO. SENSE. Also, PC who I deal with (argh) is such a fucking prick who knows nothing and it patronising, rude, arrogant... he shouts over me on the phone when I try and work something out. If you say things like "Please pull out the bleed a bit" and "we need the bleed to have image in it but also be white" and you confuse trim with bleed dimensions, you should not be working as support for print.) I have this rant weekly, seriously. These pricks waste so much of my time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
!@#$% Posted July 4, 2013 Share Posted July 4, 2013 dear transfections, work well, please. not some shitty 'i think the result is there shit.' some 'holy shit this looks awesome shit.' !@#$% Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El Vergudo Posted July 4, 2013 Share Posted July 4, 2013 dear birthday, you sucked. -El V. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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