Rolf Harris

if you like being around loud annoying unwashed greasy people who fuckin' stink then you may want to consider a visit to Glasgow...

that's a man...

im' white and scored 140... i'm also a good dancer which should surely score me aboot another 75 at least...

can't say i do this myself but a work colleague of mines says whenever he's shaggin' his wife from behind (who i presume he doesn't get along with because he works aboot 20 hours of overtime every week) he sticks his thumbs in his ear and waves his hands whilst pulling funny faces at the back of her head...

i got the SR44s... two in a packet, but they're too small and they rattle aboot in the casing... i've had the day off work today due to a family bereavement and managed to phone the company i bought the MRB675 from... they've told me i should have went with the MRB625, the only difference being is that there's a spacer to stop the battery from moving aboot... the boy says he'll try to send me a spacer for the battery... if not i'll just have to fork oot the extra £6 for another one...

i got an olympus XA2 from santa, only problem is i'm having quite a bit o' grief trying to find the correct battery for it... i've got SR44s recommended by one person, another boy told me to get a weincell MRB675... just tried that an nae joy... any help at all would be much appreciated...

some boy in front of me in the shop about an hour ago was all like "are those marlboro silvers lights?!? i'm tryin to keep off the fags!" then reached for a bottle of poppers an said to the pakistani man behind the til; "i'll keep off the fags but i never said fuck all aboot the bum shaggin'"

it looks just like my hoose with all that tartan everywhere... shout out to dallas penn too...

sometimes when i'm at work i wont wash my hands after i take a shit, then i'll go and shake hands with whatever eastern-europeans i happen to pass on the walk back to my bench...

Hah! i posted a story in here a while back where i thought i was trowing something at my mate's mum's car, but ended up ruining some poor Chinese mans day on his way to an important business meeting, i seen said mate oot last friday for the first time in years, and he was all like "ahright Rolf? what're you doing with yourself these days? still throwing fruit at cars..?"

stop talkin' shit aboot my people...

There will be Flood warnings on the east coast of Scotland tonight as Rolf Harris has a new shirt on and is looking handsome as fuck...

i managed to repair it... after a fashion, and needed a bit of help, i don't think it's totally sound, the arm still feels a bit bent and flimsy but as long as i'm pretty careful with winding up the film i should be ok...

nae danger... i'll be the first to admit i've pumped some fuckin' stinkers in my time but you're a better man than me for putting your dick near those boils on her face... i bet they were looking back at you and winking the whole time...

i'm just a simple man with simple needs... but this hud me fuckin' pishin' my troosers...

how it works? pffffft fuck knows... it's up there with magnets and aeroplanes...

it did feel a little stiff when i was rewinding the film, more so than usual , then it jammed so i tried a little harder to rewind it and that's when it sheered right off... they pictures come oot ahright thankfully... picked them up yesterday, was hoping to bump into an older photographer who drinks in my local boozer this weekend, but nae luck with that. he's mentioned before he knows someone who does repairs...

congratulations an shit...

dear eviltrailer77... i'm just after an easy life... i could do without entertaining some wee skinny student bitch that wants her hole off of me... dinna get me wrong i wasn't rude to the girl or fuck all... i just played the gentleman and refused to lead her on... Rolf

HURRICANE SANDY HITS SCOTLAND!!!!!!!! OH YA PIG!

dear lassie at the til... i know i'm a right handsome bastard... but when i appear at your work wanting to buy copious amounts of beer at 7 pm in my fuckin' boufin' work clothes covered in sawdust with a tired and worn face... it's probably safe to assume that i'm not out on the prowl looking for a girlfriend.... don't tell me to "enjoy the remainder of my evening" or i may have to fly over the counter and stick my forehead on to your nose with great speed and force... i dinna need that shite after a long day... i'm a betting man and judging by your looks, you don't stand a chance... ps i'd batter the arse off your workmate though... Rolf

some fuckin' stupid cunt o' a lassie took my AE-1 out my pocket in the pub on saturday night and dropped it... i used the last of the film then tried to rewind it... nearly had the whole roll wound in when the arm of the rewind crank snapped off... i managed to keep all the parts and it seems somewhat repairable... but when i took the camera in to get opened safely and the film developed the boy in the shop says that the film didn't seem to be loaded right in the first place... if that's the case then i'll probably be sick... had some berlin shots and some from a big light show in a forest i had to drive aboot an hour and a half to get to...

that shit was crackin' me up last night... my favorite of all was probably "THIS NIGGA JÉÀŃ REALLY IN A CUL DE SAC STANDING ATOP A MOTORCYCLE SLATHERED IN SCENTEND OILS B GET THIS GUY SO TFOH B"

nah i'm no that sad...

whenever i'm a passenger in a car i'll say "oh ya fucker! look at that!" all excited and point whenever i see a dog taking a shit... i usually get a sigh and a look of utter disappointment from them...