Rolf Harris

how the fuck does 2pac's revolver hold aboot 9 bullets in juice..?

Re: Stay in nice apartments with view OR move into suburbia to have house/garage/back yard i refuse to believe people from texas play golf...

dear decy... cheers, i'm gonna try and save the beer money for a BMW though... i hope you get that wee cararvan dwelling tinky bastard that stole yir bike tae... dear massgraff... i wasn't oot of a job, technically speaking... i was self-employed... so when i had work, the money was bra... now though i'll be gettin' a shitey wage, but it's money every week ken? an maybe even a wee van to drive aboot in tae... the more you ken... off to le boozer Rolf

dear oontz.... i finally got a joab! that will be all... Rolf

*BUMP aw c'mon tae fuck! i'll dae a list, however i seriously doubt anyone will be able to read it...

jbrsh who's making the next list?

sorry for the lateness, but here's all i got... nothing fantastic but whatever... 1. Rust 2. Grey 3. Self Potrait 5. Night time 6. Toys 9. Flying 10. Historic there was some i shot in film but i really canna be hooped trying to work the shitty old scanner i've got...

dear company... pleez geez yon joab the moarn... yi ken yi want ti... eh cin dae it ah nae bather! piece o' piss... cheery! chefter! Rolf

i'll get some up tomorrow, struggled a bit with this list, but i got a roll of film developed so i'll maybe scan a few of those in to make up for some that i've missed... if that's not considered cheating..?

i need to take up golf...

if i had a hoose boat i'd just sail aboot the place like fuckin' nae cunts business catching dogs all day long for my breakfast, lunch, and dinner... fuckin' water gypsy...

realism and cunty flaps are from chernobyl...

i'm tryin'... i've got plenty time so no real excuses either...

fuckin check this Scottish go-kart right oot... went back into the bucky so the boy could let me oot the gate, i would've gave him a few pound for the coffee jar, but he was wearing a rangers top leave to drive towards Arbroath to see a mate my car got covered in seagul shite... watched some yo MTV raps at his hoose signed by the nam himself headed back to the moter... then headed to see another mate's new flat smoked more and drank some non-alcoholic beers... END

there was a few o these ald adverts dotted aboot so i thought i'd flick them for all your lettering geeks... i hear old boys in the boozers speakin' aboot capstan fags as if they were sticks o dynamite... more...

ahright pies folks... been a wee while so i thought i'd jump in the car and take photos of things i know you'd appreciate... start the day... sammich... jump in the moter... arrive at old trainstation... it was closed. so i had a wander aboot, no one was there (or so i thought) so i jumped the fence... because i'm just that fuckin' mental i walked up the platform and this wee volunteer boy was sittin' in the old bucky with the radio on reading the paper... i said "hullo!" and the poor wee cunt fuckin' shat a brick... loads o' bits o' old engines kickin' aboot... more...

dear grd... "hello possum!" i think i get it now... kinda... dear day in pies thread... i'm going to post photos there for the first time in a while tomorrow and you are gonna shit yir breeks rolf

one time we were fitting a bathroom with this wee fat arsehole of a plumber... he just wanted to bash though the job, run his pipes everywhere and fuck off making his easy, and our work 10 times more difficult that what it should be... anyway the wee fat prick near enough gets stuck going down the hatch in the floor to do some pipe work... after he sucks his gut in to pass through the hole in the floor, i see the hatch cover sitting beside my foot... so i just kicked it back into place and screw it shut... the wee spherical cunt was goin off his fuckin' nut battering the floor with his hammer... saying shit like "when you let me oot o' here i'm gonna batter you with my hammer!" i just said "well you'll no be gettin' oot in a hurry then..." i let him oot after aboot 30 minutes, he wasn't happy... but he was a fuckin' dildo so i don't feel any remorse for it...

dear Grd/dame Edna... what? why are you glad liverpool won? Rolf

dear decy i ken! if i had £2300 i'd just pay my pals to go doon and rob every single one o' they fuckin' muppets for their moon boots... then replace them with a few durex covered in glitter so they wouldn't feel hard done by... i'd probably just dae it fir the fuckin' shits and giggles... Rolf

mn_1 fuckos says he's on the new list... but no 'til sunday like ken? it's just aboot friday here... but i'm more bothered aboot other things this weekend... i'd dae a list but i you'd all need translators...

dear eviltrailer and decy... i just checked how much those shoes that look like iced out ribbed condoms are going for on ebay... certain cunts are asking as much as $2300 for a single pair... do either of you remember the belton v ironlak beef? and belton said that ironlak would melt styrofoam, (or vice versa) do you think it would melt your foams if you were to wear those horrible fuckers oot painting? perhaps this should've been posted in the nonsense thread... Rolf

dear customer... please, please dinna be yir fuckin' dick-heed of your usual self tomorrow... dear work... please be ahright tomorrow... please be done by aboot the back o' 2... i canna be fucked wi this kickin' the arse oot o' fuckin' five o'clock caper... dear overseas people... why in fucks name are people goin' so fuckin' mel gibson bat shit insane for these galaxy foamposites? there should be a picture of them in the dictionary under "moon boots" perhaps i am gettng old. or every single 17 year old these days is just a complete fuckin' faggot... Rolf

who's on the next list? i'm unemployed and i need something to do other than sit aboot masturbating all day

hahaha! that sounds almost as frustrating as 18 holes o' golf actually does... it only takes half the fuckin' time... i wish i had time to contribute more... saying that i purposely took this one one to keep me oot the pub for an extra hour a day...