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...being the office cool guy.....

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by mental invalid, Jul 12, 2001.

  1. mental invalid

    mental invalid Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: May 11, 2001 Messages: 13,050 Likes Received: 8
    ...ok, i thought this shit was really funny, maybe youve seen it before, i know i have but it stills good...LOL......rOe

    How to be the office cool guy...

    10. Keep telling the same person they have bad breath even if
    they don't, and then punch them in the face.

    9. Announce in a meeting that you have AIDS. After everyone gives
    you the sympathy remarks, tell everyone how you were just kidding
    and tell them that they are all a bunch of fucking queers.

    8. Before a meeting, fill your mouth with custard. Then during
    the meeting, put one finger in the air and make a noise like you
    are hocking up a loogie.Then spit the custard into a glass and
    hand it to the person next to you and say, "Beat that."

    7. Inform a male co-worker that he "wouldn't make a good hooker."
    Then piss in his coffee and tell him that he needs a good ass
    fucking.

    6. Always walk around with a big smile on your face and keep one
    hand down your pants.

    5. Answer every question asked to you with "Fuck if I know" then
    call the person a racial slur that doesn't even correspond to
    their actual race.

    4. Brag about the fact that you own a gun, and keep playing with
    your nuts. Get them all sweaty, and then walk around shaking
    everyone's hands.

    3. Shit on the floor in your office and when someone comes in and
    sees it, tell them it is the fake plastic kind. When they try to
    pick it up, and realize that their hand is covered in shit, laugh
    and point at them and call them a fucking asshole.

    2. Run down the hall with your dick out while pissing all over
    and yell, "It won't stop! Help me!" Then when it stops, look down
    and say "Oh."

    1. Ask to borrow someones pen. Bring it into the bathroom and
    stick it in your ass. Take it back to the person you borrowed
    from and ask them to smell it. When they tell you that it smells
    bad, tell them, "It should. I had it in my ass."
     
  2. foO'

    foO' Banned

    Joined: Aug 13, 2000 Messages: 116 Likes Received: 0
     
  3. beardo

    beardo Guest

    oh shit! thats fucking hilarious!!! HAAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    2. Run down the hall with your dick out while pissing all over
    and yell, "It won't stop! Help me!" Then when it stops, look down
    and say "Oh."
     
  4. eyeBddub

    eyeBddub Member

    Joined: Jan 14, 2001 Messages: 659 Likes Received: 0
    hahahahahah thats fucking great!!!
     
  5. jades_blue

    jades_blue Senior Member

    Joined: Jul 12, 2000 Messages: 1,019 Likes Received: 0
    Hey, that's my line...
     
  6. drewWrite

    drewWrite Guest

    these were the only ones i found funny. the others REALLY weren't funny, to the point where its just embarassing

    [This message has been edited by drewWrite (edited 07-12-2001).]
     
  7. --zeSto--

    --zeSto-- Guest

    dont forget to stand in front of the water cooler
    and make people fill their cup in between you legs.
    sigh like you just pissed a gallon.

    THEN call them an uncle fucker
     
  8. kg

    kg New Jack

    Joined: Apr 26, 2001 Messages: 13 Likes Received: 1
    fuk yeah ill will be back

    ------------------
    i hate working
     
  9. chizm

    chizm Senior Member

    Joined: May 29, 2001 Messages: 1,165 Likes Received: 0
    Bah ha ha!!!!!
     
  10. curious george

    curious george Senior Member

    Joined: May 21, 2001 Messages: 1,359 Likes Received: 2
  11. boogie hands

    boogie hands 12oz Legend

    Joined: Feb 15, 2001 Messages: 16,059 Likes Received: 13

    hahahhaha....oh shit, that gave me a good chuckle....thanks


    ------------------
    brick, brick ,brick...thats how i be up against your girlfriends ass...
     
  12. *see-phore*

    *see-phore* Senior Member

    Joined: Jul 7, 2001 Messages: 1,182 Likes Received: 0
    been there done that.......................
    what if you work in a warehouse?
     
  13. tue skinny

    tue skinny Elite Member

    Joined: Jul 3, 2001 Messages: 4,781 Likes Received: 0
    that was sweet ill try that lol
     
  14. dumb hot

    dumb hot Banned

    Joined: Oct 7, 2000 Messages: 859 Likes Received: 0
    i acually cried when i red this
     
  15. mental invalid

    mental invalid Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: May 11, 2001 Messages: 13,050 Likes Received: 8
    ...BUMP...cause even after the 10th time reading this, i laugh hysterically, with tears coming down my face...oh man, to funny...i cant even tell ya which one is my fav, but they all paint hysterical pictures in my head....oh the office life....rOe
     
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