CILONE/SK Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 I read this and thought about this thread: I was 22 or something, just out of college. I had a crappy job and was living in a pit hole on the Lower East Side with a Wall Street roommate who was never there. Getting high a lot and eating mostly Ramen noodles: the usual. The one bright spot for me was girls, because my lifestyle did let me focus a lot of effort on picking them up. I was having enough success that I didn't have to think about getting serious with any of them, if you know what I mean. Living the dream. So one night I hooked up with this girl from China named Tanya. She had a very sweet face and big boobs she seemed to be making an effort to project with the outfits she wore. As if literally she judged every shirt or dress on its ability to assault you with her cleavage. She was a little shallow, and we weren't all that into each other. It was just kind of a casual relationship, an excuse to have good sex on a regular basis, with a couple of dull dates here and there to make it all feel legit. A relationship of convenience. Anyway, I'm sitting in my NYC apartment one day in the middle of the afternoon, smoking a bong by myself because I was that kind of driven and motivated, when Tanya called me up. I could tell she was pretty horny, but I wasn't feeling it. I had a big "me" day planned: had just opened a bag of Fritos, pulled up Archer on Netflix and my couch was calling. So I start making excuses, and I'm a little high so I'm probably talking too much instead of just hanging up, but she gets the picture. She doesn't want to take no for an answer, though, so she says: "Okay, but if you change your mind, I'm already in my costume." And I said, "Your costume?" But she had hung up. And I'm sitting there thinking "Costume?" But I wasn't about to call her back. I plopped down on the couch and pulled my snacks in tight, and started the Archer marathon. But I couldn't get it out of my head. Costume? What costume? I paused the show and blew another bowl to think this through. There were ramifications if I decided to leave; it would mean finding pants, and sunglasses, and braving the outside world for a subway trip uptown. But what the hell was her costume? Catholic schoolgirl? Dominatrix? '80s yoga instructor? My mind was reeling with the possibilities. A nurse, maybe? I was experiencing localized swelling just thinking about it. It was probably only five minutes of deliberation, in stoner time. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore. One more completely unnecessary bowl for the road, and I'm on my way. And so, after a long and harrowing journey, I pull up to her apartment and past the oblivious doorman. And I enter the elevator, just about tripping from smoking too much, with the reveal right around the corner, I suddenly start to panic. What if it this costume was something...darker? What if it's a dominatrix costume, and she wanted to tie me to a chair? Or an alien, with tools for an autopsy? What if she has, like, an Adolf Hitler fetish or something? People are into some weird-ass crap when it comes to sex. I was working without a net, here. By the time I get to her door, I had just about talked myself out of it. But she already knew I was here, and had buzzed me in. And just as I was waffling at her door, it opened, to reveal... A ladybug. A full, head-to-toe, detailed, costume-contest contender of a ladybug outfit. I'm talking black leggings and fluttery big giant red-with-black-polka-dots body wings. Her trademark cleavage spilling out the front and two springy ping-pong-ball antennae sprouting out the top of her head. She was giving me this impossibly sultry look, and I'm just as high as a kite, and thinking, like okay, wow, this is not what I was expecting, but yeah, I think I could be into this. Tanya didn’t talk. Not one word, the whole time. She was in character. She just kind of fluttered around the room and over into the bedroom, out of sight. I don't know if I could have done it, stone cold sober. But high, this was a pretty interesting proposition. Once you realize this is gonna make for an incredible story, you've gotta go through with it, right? So I follow her into the bedroom, where she had settled, or landed, or whatever, on the edge of the bed, face down, presenting her ass in the air, in see-through black spandex over white underwear. Apparently this is how ladybugs do it. Did I mention I was incredibly high? And so I take off my clothes and peel down her tights and underwear to her knees, and climb aboard like I thnk a male ladybug might do it, and we...well, we mated, I guess. For me, the sex wasn't crazy good, to be honest. It was just too weird, and hard not to get distracted by her wings flapping up on each down stroke, and those antenna balls bouncing around on her head, which was smushed down into the bed. But for her it was different—this was her thing, apparently—and she had a sheets-clawing, screaming-into-the-pillow orgasm. I tried to talk a little afterward, break the ice, but she shook her head—still no, still in character, curled up on the bed—and after a little while I got the hint and left. So isn't that the weirdest thing ever? We never talked about it later and never repeated the episode. We had like a couple more dates but the summer was almost over and soon we were both off to other people. I probably should have seen this as an invitation to explore my own freaky side, and I do regret missing that opportunity. When you meet someone who's truly up for anything, you get to take advantage; sometimes I think of looking her up for just that reason. But it'll probably never happen. It felt exactly like bug sex, in retrospect: Tanya had chosen to mate with me, and once she'd taken what she needed, I was dead to her. We had mated and flown on. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CILONE/SK Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 Role play. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LUGR Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 this girl from China named Tanya. She had a very sweet face and big boobs :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DRUNKEN-ASSHOLE-ONER Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 Not even going to get into it with DAO about the human body and how it works. I seriously wonder about what they teach in Philly schools. I don't think they teach anything about breaking in pussy. That's something I learned through experience. Something you seem to lack if you think chicks are just born loose. :lol: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smashed tangerine Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 I was seeing a 40-year-old Polish chick when I was 25. I learnt that 'Catholic' is a code word for bareback. The end. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CILONE/SK Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 I don't think they teach anything about breaking in pussy. That's something I learned through experience. Something you seem to lack if you think chicks are just born loose. :lol: You really have no idea how muscle groups and muscle memory work. "Breaking in pussy" is some ghetto nonsense that is used to enlarge male egos. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+plus+ Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RIPS Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 He's 18, shops at Tilly's, listens to Rise Against and is a full time connoisseur of pussy older than Mathusalem; A sexual 'Rambo' of the nursing homes if you will. Extreme caution advised. This will probably ruin your day and/or life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DRUNKEN-ASSHOLE-ONER Posted October 3, 2013 Share Posted October 3, 2013 I was seeing a 40-year-old Polish chick when I was 25. I learnt that 'Catholic' is a code word for bareback. The end. You should've caught her when she was 16 and going to Catholic school. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DRUNKEN-ASSHOLE-ONER Posted October 3, 2013 Share Posted October 3, 2013 You really have no idea how muscle groups and muscle memory work. "Breaking in pussy" is some ghetto nonsense that is used to enlarge male egos. Apparently I have a lot more of an idea than you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigdoughnut69 Posted October 4, 2013 Share Posted October 4, 2013 Pissing Contest!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CILONE/SK Posted October 4, 2013 Share Posted October 4, 2013 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DRUNKEN-ASSHOLE-ONER Posted October 4, 2013 Share Posted October 4, 2013 Pissing Contest!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm calling dude out. The only bitches he ever been with were broken in whores. And he can probably count them on one hand. Nigga probably didn't even lose his virginity till he was in his 20's. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jackson Posted October 4, 2013 Share Posted October 4, 2013 Some LOLZ in this thread. I have always had a penchant for older yats. My current squeeze is older, but only a couple of years. But I can say that in my experience women become more sexually liberated and generally better in bed in their mid to late twenties. I can't honestly imagine anything worse than banging a boring 18 year old aside from the body/freshness etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
da1lyoperations Posted October 4, 2013 Share Posted October 4, 2013 I've generally always dated girls a bit older. I guess that's to do with growing up with a crew of older people. For the most part, aside from good friends I can't stand younger girls. My girlfriend is 6 years older than me, never even think about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CILONE/SK Posted October 4, 2013 Share Posted October 4, 2013 I'm calling dude out. The only bitches he ever been with were broken in whores. And he can probably count them on one hand. Nigga probably didn't even lose his virginity till he was in his 20's. Your right, you have to pound away at a girl to break her in. Muscles have nothing to do with any of it. It is all about the size of you dick and how hard you fuck her. "Real" men ruin that pussy for good. What the fuck is your point? I remember conversations like this back in 6 grade. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keepitrail Posted October 4, 2013 Share Posted October 4, 2013 Wait... is this page 5 and still there are no pictures of this female>>>???? Once I banged my best friend's cousin. She has two kids and was 10 yrs older than me at the time (32). The one on the right. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RIPS Posted October 4, 2013 Share Posted October 4, 2013 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cool_Hand Posted October 4, 2013 Share Posted October 4, 2013 promises were made on said epic titties. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
injury Posted October 5, 2013 Share Posted October 5, 2013 Bigger the hoops the bigger the ho Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cool_Hand Posted October 31, 2013 Share Posted October 31, 2013 Bump for the ever so long awaited arrival of milf cannons. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inappropriate_Responder Posted October 31, 2013 Share Posted October 31, 2013 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ewwweeey Posted October 31, 2013 Share Posted October 31, 2013 this htread makes me want to barf Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
injury Posted November 1, 2013 Share Posted November 1, 2013 Closest I came to anything like that was basically jerking myself off by reaching into a girls rectal while doggy stylin her vaginal Good times :huh: :huh: :huh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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