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I'm concerned about you


blood fart

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But not in the way people on here seem to think.

 

You may be giving some people credit they don't deserve.

 

I'm sure a lot of folks in Channel Zero have done some far shadier things that they feel perfectly justified about, regardless of the outcome or who got hurt...they just don't talk about it, and would be WAY more defensive if any of their dirt got aired out since the group tendency is to jump to conclusions and judge others for their actions regardless of whether they were involved or even know the whole story. What makes this even more ironic is that everyone here is anti-snitch, until someone 'fesses up or airs someone out...then you start pumping them for more information. How does that work?

 

That's why I stopped sharing much about my life on here. I didn't mind when the less favorable reactions would be something like "You got your own thing going on, it's not what I'm into but that's cool, thanks for sharing, do you." However, once I started feeling like I was on trial for simply being honest it wasn't much fun anymore. It's also why I stopped hassling people on here...sure, it's fun when you're dishing it out, but when you're on the business end it fucking sucks.

 

It's cool that you're posting again, BF, but it's not the forum you left. I know you can handle the shit talkers, but...you'll see.

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I've never had any qualms with talking about my flaws or misdeeds.

And I know that people will assume what they want with the information they are given.

I take responsibility for that, being that they can only base their opinions on me with what parts of my life I put out in the open.

There are some things I won't talk about.

It is irrelevant why I felt justified in doing someone wrong

It isn't because I am a bad or spiteful person.

It is also irrelevant what I did up until I did someone wrong.

Doing 10 good things doesn't give you permission to do 10 bad things.

 

In making amends to the people I have wronged in my past, it has not only been a humbling experience, it has also given me a lot of insight on how I really was and how I am now.

The thing that keeps getting brought up to me is that they find it easy to forgive and that it is all water under the bridge because they know how I am when I am wasted is not how I am now.

But it isn't about getting forgiveness.

It's simply about letting them know that I know what I did was fucked up.

And I am willing to do whatever it takes to make it right.

 

People like having a villain.

Someone to burn at the stake.

 

I have my side of the story.

He has his side to the story.

Then there is reality.

All three sound different.

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Actually, this thread just caused me to recall my favourate army-wife-whore story.

 

We were on a 4 month posting OS, non-active when this dude in my platoon found out that his bank account had been emptied along with the contents of his house. When we returned home we found that his wife had ripped all the family money, sold everything they owned, told all the other wives about what their husband had been doing (he had a big yap) and then ran off with a guy from the navy that she'd been rooting for the past year.

 

Most amazing part was, this poor cat was the type that stayed faithful to his wife. She fucked him, his marriage and about five other marriages around her. Shit was epic.

 

 

Armywife whores, the other green on blue attack!!

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Like some others have said, I am glad BF is back. I do not agree with what she has done, but I think 99% of people deserve a second chance if they realize that they are on the wrong path.

 

Also, I have always liked how open she is with us and the pics she posts.

 

Stay Black Bloodfart.

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I still have a Sparks/Virgin Mary tattoo.

It is still unfinished.

Ten years later.

 

I haven't drank a Sparks in probably 5 years.

So no point in wasting time getting the tattoo finished.

 

I don't agree with a lot of things I have done.

It is what it is.

 

I could say the whole,

"You can't turn a ho into a housewife"

"A tiger can't change it's stripes"

"Play with fire and you're gonna get burned"

Shit.

The truth is that people have trusted me, and I have betrayed their trust.

 

I've always had trouble with relationships.

And feeling for others what they have felt for me.

It has been said to me that I am an emotional robot.

And fickle.

And I can turn and walk away from people without looking back or thinking twice.

All that is true.

Things are different now.

I am different now.

 

Last night while being tattooed, my buddy said something to me along the lines of how "isn't it funny when you love someone, that you actually take into consideration their feelings and their wants"

Then he went on to talk in depth about that lady that got her butthole tattooed at a convention.

 

 

 

Here's some tits.

tumblr_mclggsxId21rk05nvo1_1280.jpg

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Thanks.

I feel like it's "real" now.

A nice milestone.

 

It was good to have all my friends at the shop be so stoked on what I am doing.

It's nice to have supportive people in my life.

And friends that stuck around through all the bullshit.

 

It is the longest time I have ever been sober on my own accord.

I've had that prison clean time before.

But that was not because I wanted to be sober or wanted to be in prison.

This time it was easy because I wasn't being forced into it.

I didn't have anything to prove to someone else.

It wasn't because I had gotten some ultimatum to "get clean or GTFO".

I just got tired of being a piece of shit.

And destroying everything around me while hurting people in the process.

 

tumblr_mclgb0ryrB1rk05nvo1_500.jpg

This is pretty much the coolest picture the internet has to offer.

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Yeah 6 months is the huge one. Most people don't make it that far so it really is a big deal. I've hurt plenty of people, fucked over people who didn't deserve it ect. But you do dumb things when your fucked up. Sme people forgive you, some people don't, some people are there rooting for you and some don't give a shit. In my personal transition from going to fucked up to sober some friendships have become stronger and more meaningfull than I though was possible, and some people I thought I'd be cool with for life are no longer around. Things are fucked up sometimes but basically you gotta do what's right for you sometimes and what makes you happy and not worry so much about other people's feelings.

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20121026-LIL_WAYNE.jpg

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

wayne-teaser.jpg

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Damn that works picture was mad difficult for me to look at too, although probably good for me to see. Sometimes it's good to look back on your fucked up past. I don't know you either, but congratulations on your 6 months and pullin your shit together. Feels good huh? Keep on keepin on

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