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earl broclo ESQ

FUCK YOU INTERNET AND AUTOMATED WORLD!

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So I've been on my computer for a little over 4 hours now, looking for work, collecting postings, writing resumes, and basically trying to get my life back in order again. Nothing wrong with a man wanting to better himself? Right? So I keep having to go through at least three middle men to FINALLY get to the fucking point of application.

 

The general process is this:

 

1. Your friend emails you a posting site to check out.

2. You look through that site, finding a posting, and click the link.

3. That link then takes you to another site that is posting the job description with "Apply Now" on a button at the bottom. You click that.

4. This brings you to another site that is handling the application processing, and you usually have to sign in or sign up to apply. You sign up/in.

5. Now you go through the first page of bullshit.

6. a second page.

7. on the third page you can finally upload your resume and cut and paste your cover letter. You then click continue.

8. If you're lucky enough to get by this page, you get to a confirmation of your information. You click continue.

9. The final page is usually a question answer page, which is your usual "are you a drug using criminal?" You answer those and click submit.

10. By now you're usually done.

 

 

I am currently stuck at #7. I tried uploading my resume twice, but it kept freezing up on me. The little wheel was a turning, but nothing was a happening. So after two failed attempts, I decided I'd just cut and paste my resume in (which takes away the original layout). I did that once, hit "submit," and the shit froze up on me. That's when I started writing this, while I waited. I tried again, and just now got a problem loading page. I hit "reload" and it worked, I'm now on the 8th step.

 

But wait, after verifying all my info and clicking "submit" --it's freezing up on me again! So I'm waiting for the "problem processing" page, and hopefully I can apply for this job.

 

FUCK ALL OF THIS BULLSHIT! Fuck automated bill collectors, fuck automated customer service, fuck automated grocery check outs that can't read a fucking bar code! A big "fuck you" goes out to the recording that says "I'm sorry, but I didn't understand your request. Please state the last name and extension of your party." And fuck calling Verizon to talk to someone --it doesn't exist. I've gone retard on the button pushing, moaned when they ask for any voice verification, and even yelled obscenities more than once in a 30 second time span.

 

 

Fuck all this shit! My fucking resume page is still "Loading." I just did the stop/refresh thing and it worked, but I'm still calling bullshit on this whole planet.

 

 

I finally applied. I probably could have just kept hitting stop/refresh the whole time, but I'm starting to lose my shit staring at job postings, and this rant was needed.

 

20070300-Rooney.gif

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I feel your pain, I've been trying to download this documentary about Chinese werewolves in Mexico but shit just keeps fucking up.

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Earl, it seems to me that organized crime could be your forte'.

Perhaps a stint in black market cigarettes could lead to something

promising like jacking Sony shipments from JFK?

 

There are no computers in the mafia. Just remember that.

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im on the jobhunt tip. the whole email your resume shit is retarded. online applications are wack and take forever. and then it always seems like you get the job that you simply walked in the store and left a phone number at.

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I feel you man, check Craigslist, usaully the easiest...or you could always rob a bank!

dec08062.jpg

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i wish i could get into organized crime.

 

working for the don and snuffin fools out with a baseball bat in secluded parking lots.

 

planting car bombs.

 

and getting fat offa pasta.

 

wheresallthegobblegoo?!

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I feel your pain, I've been trying to download this documentary about Chinese werewolves in Mexico but shit just keeps fucking up.

 

send me a link

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i hate the surveys that take 1 1/2 hours.

i cant tell you how many times ive been on the in-store computer doing the app... got fed up and just walked the fuck out.

 

yeah this.

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I'm applying for another job now, with a major cable network. Guess what --same exact process as the last one.

 

FUCK ALL OF THIS SHIT.

 

And I remember doing one of those in-store online applications. That shit was more annoying than an ugly girl with a crush on you.

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I feel you man, check Craigslist, usaully the easiest...or you could always rob a bank!

dec08062.jpg

 

 

I would definitely rob a bank with this crew.

 

As for Craigslist --that shit annoys me. I hate looking through there, because there are so many fucking bullshit jobs mixed in.

 

"make money counting paper clips"

 

"model for me in my living room"

 

"will you edit my wedding video for a 12 pack?"

 

"looking to break into porn?"

 

 

I usually click hoping it's for an editor's position, it never is one.

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I've been applying like crazy lately, and have been having this exact same problem. I don't get why the fuck i have to fill in all these forms with the exact same info from my resume and cover letter when i already uploaded both of them. Honestly, can't they just read the resume instead of having me upload it AND fill out 30 pages worth of ridiculous questions and repeats of what is already there?

 

More companies need to go the "step 1: upload your resume and cover letter. step 2: submit" route, or at least stop rerouting me to 10 different sites, 5 of them of which i have to sign up for and repeatedly answer the same questions.

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Earl, it seems to me that organized crime could be your forte'.

Perhaps a stint in black market cigarettes could lead to something

promising like jacking Sony shipments from JFK?

 

There are no computers in the mafia. Just remember that.

 

 

I would love to be a paid killer, but I don't have any experience. No military experience, no enforcer gigs in my early 20's, and a big NO on having any UFC belts. I don't want to hustle cargo shipments, I want to put bullets and blades in people. I'm sure my girlfriend wouldn't be to happy, but I could always tell her I'm "at the office hun." I mean, it isn't like I'm fucking some other broad, right? Plus, I already have the idea in my head that this planet is over populated and maybe a little more "dead" weight will drop it off it's axis and freeze us all to death.

 

I would be the best paid killer on the market. Someone hook this up!

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More companies need to go the "step 1: upload your resume and cover letter. step 2: submit" route, or at least stop rerouting me to 10 different sites, 5 of them of which i have to sign up for and repeatedly answer the same questions.

 

 

That's what I'm screaming in my fucking head right now. I'm doing the same exact process, with a different company header up top. This shit is ridiculous. Why can't the "Apply Now" button, just link us to a page that has a job description, and email address link. They could easily set up a "Get address now" button, with a spam blocker on it --couldn't they?

 

I've hit stop/refresh four times now on this one "submit resume" page.

 

FUCK ALL OF THIS SHIT!

 

I have 4 other things I need to get done today, and this shit is really slowing me up.

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i wish i could get into organized crime.

 

working for the don and snuffin fools out with a baseball bat in secluded parking lots.

 

 

 

why would you use a bat?

 

unprofessional, clumsy, slow and inefficient.

 

Silenced firearm is the way to go. How old are you? 15?

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why would you use a bat?

 

unprofessional, clumsy, slow and inefficient.

 

Silenced firearm is the way to go. How old are you? 15?

 

:rolleyes:

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Z-masonic-handshake-close-up.jpg

 

 

 

Is it just me, or does that look like one of those handshakes that make you feel awkward when you let go? The dead fish shake, when you go in at different angles, and end up sissy wristing the handshake?

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I would be the best paid killer on the market. Someone hook this up!

 

I've got a ten spot that'll be all yours if you can kill my boss before 9am this morning!

Consider it your first paying gig. A portfolio piece if you will.... bearing in mind that while the payment isn't much this an outstanding opportunity to break into a fairly tight market.

 

He's morbidly obese so there is a lot of fat to get through but let creativity be your guide

 

As with any other creative work what you put in will equal what you get out of it.

 

Earl "Killswitch" Broclo ESQ

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