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CoreyHaimIsMyRoleModel

DICK MEASUREMENT METHODUS.

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ok. you know youve done it before. youve measured your dick. you know the exact size in its rock hard form as well as in its pitiful placid state. Now.... were gonna seperate the white boy 1 hair on your schlong from the nigger-dick rhyno posse. (pardon my language) ok.....i figured out from a girl this past week that what she does is make her guy take his hard throbbing juicy manmeat hahaha and wrap a dollar bill around it lenghtwise. This is the "girth" test also known as the "gerth" or "garth brooks" test. If your silly salami allows the bill to reach further than the word THE on the back hand side top you are a small girthed city slicker. Now...if it takes effort to reach the "T" on the word "the" or even doesnt even reach it, you have what i refer to as the Nigger dick. (dont be so easily offended...for on the other hand of the phallic pinwheel is the chink dick.) ok ok ok.... now here is another method.... Using your hand grasp your shaft (erect) and wrap your fingers around it. SQUEEZE. if you can even touch the tip of your middle finger, you should practice kama sutra or indulge in a dildo cause chances are you arent gonna please the women with your wimpy willy.

This was all the chubby girth testing....now onto length...

 

First...shave your balls. Dont ask, just do. then....stimulate yourself and place a ruler at the base of your shaft where your balls are planted. FOR all you wierdo-un-circumsized "watersock" dick-fellas, you cannot cheat and stretch your foreskin over the ruler. That shit is a no-no in this test. Now....average size is between 4.5 and 6 inches. haha and for those of you who fall into this catagory, shit...i dunno...become monks or something. Between 6.5- 8 is good and anything over 8 is RAD (but might scare the petite girlies.) Soooo now that you realize you got a huge dick what do you do now? I dunno. fuck. what are your methods for measuring your dicks?

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Guest mopius

slap it around so it swells up and it measures bigger

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Fuck all that wrapping a dollar around my man. I can tell by how a girl reacts to seeing my "Hidden Pistol" for the first time.

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Guest bug

every girl i get with tells me its the biggest they've had. that's all i need to know. even if they're lying i don't care. i don't need to wrap DIRTY money around it.

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hmmmmm.....quite the intesting little topic. What do Canadians do? Do we measure it against a dollar coin? If so I'm a huge fucking man. But that 2 dollar coin.....damn. Got me beat. Gues it's back to my twist-and-pull penal exercises.

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Guest jarryd

hahahaa

 

^ haha go team skins!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hahahahaahahah

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Now I really know why people always tell you not to put money in your mouth. You're retarded.

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I'm currently in the process of going through each dollar bill in my wallet and wrapping it around my dick....I'm going to the corner store pretty soon, to "circulate" my special bank notes, exclusively from the Dirty Habit mint in Texas....some day you may touch my nut sweat, or smell it if you do coke with dollars. Enjoy!

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Yeah, Iris, i'm curious as to why uncircumcised is better considering its supposed to give you cervical cancer when you have sex with them.

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sheeesh..ill tell you why...because its extra skin..which adds..extra um friction..or what not..why else would they make some condoms "ribbed for her pleasure" ya heard..

 

oh and that cervical cancer line is some of the biggest load of crap I have ever heard..sure...

 

I suppose in some cases..if the guy doesnt take care of himself.. sex in general can give bladder infections..and most ladies catch HPV..even if they dont know it.(you cant see it..or tell its there..40 percent of girls carry it..) .and that eventually..if not treated can turn into cervical cancer..but thats about it..whether he is circumsized or not..really couldnt create abnormal cells to create cancer..you know..it is the way your born..

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40% of women have hpv?? you mean genital warts? if thats true i'm going to have to start asking girls to present me some gyne certification that they're wart free.

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theres two kinds of hpv..one which is just abnormal cells..you cant see..the other is genital warts..the forty percent have the unseen kind..so breathe easily..haha..can you tell i used to work in a doctors office or what?

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Guest WebsterUno

*believe*

 

ˆˆˆˆˆÂhahahahahahahaahˆˆˆˆˆˆ

That character is stupid dope!

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