LIVERWURST* Posted February 17, 2008 Share Posted February 17, 2008 5. Andrew Jackson [url=http://www.cracked.com/article_15895_5-most-badass-presidents-all-time.html][/url] When the 1828 election rolled around, a lot of people were terrified when they heard Andrew "Old Hickory" Jackson was running. If you're wondering how a guy we're calling a bad ass got such a lame nickname, it's because he used to carry a hickory cane around and beat people senseless with it, and if you're wondering why he did that, it's because he was a fucking lunatic. Former Democratic Senator and Secretary of the Treasurey Albert Gallatin feared a Jackson presidency because of his "habitual disregard of laws and constitutional provisions." Or in other words, the man was a loose canon--17th Century Washigton's answer to Martin Riggs. Sure, he probably didn't have an irate black lieutenant to answer to, or a weary partner who was too old for this shit, but he most certainly had a death wish. How do we know? Well, despite everyone's best efforts, Jackson was elected to the top office, and when he wasn't busy shaping the Presidency as we know it today, you could find him out back dueling. In case you haven't been to the 18th century lately, this unmanly sounding activity actually involves standing across from an armed man and shooting at him while he in turn shoots at you. The number of duels that Jackson took part in varies depending on what source you consult; some say 13, while others rank the number somewhere in the 100's, both of which are entirely too many times for a reasonable human being to stand in front of someone who is strying to kill them with a loaded gun. On one occasion, he challenged a man named Charles Dickinson to a duel, (the reason behind it wasn't important, not to us and certainly not to Jackson), and Jackson was even kind enough to give Dickinson the first shot. We're gonna go ahead and repeat that: In a duel with pistols, Jackson politely volunteers to be shot at first. Dickinson happily obliged and shot Jackson, who proceeded to shake it off like it was a bee sting. When Jackson returned the favor, Dickinson was not so lucky, and that's why his face isn't on the twenty. The bullet, by the by, remained in Jackson's body for 19 years because, we assume, Jackson knew that time spent removing the bullets would just fall under the general category of "time not dueling," Jackson's least favorite category. Greatest Display of Badassedry: Andrew Jackson was the first president on whom an assassination attempt was made. A man named Richard Lawrence approached Jackson with two pistols both of which, for some reason, misfired. With the possibility of an assassination taken off the table, Jackson proceeded to beat Lawrence near death with his cane until Jackson's aides pulled him off the assassin. The guns were inspected afterwards and it was discovered that they were in perfect working order, leading some historians to believe that it was an odds-defying "miracle" that Jackson survived, while we're pretty sure that the bullets, like everyone else, were simply scared of Jackson. Most Badass Quote: "I have only two regrets: I didn't shoot Henry Clay and I didn't hang John C. Calhoun." That's right. In a life rich with murdering people for little-to-no reason, Jackson's only regret was that he didn't kill quite enough people. People like Calhoun who, it should be noted, was Jackson's vice president. All 5 here: http://www.cracked.com/article_15895_5-most-badass-presidents-all-time.html Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XJONATHONX Posted February 17, 2008 Share Posted February 17, 2008 Win. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LIVERWURST* Posted February 17, 2008 Author Share Posted February 17, 2008 1.Theodore Roosevelt Greatest Display of Badassedry: While campaigning for a third term, Roosevelt was shot by a madman and, instead of treating the wound, delivered his campaign speech with the bleeding, undressed bullet hole in his chest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angelofdeath Posted February 17, 2008 Share Posted February 17, 2008 i liked jackson because he shut down that damn central bank. but the other stuff was pretty cool too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ILOTSMYBRAIN Posted February 17, 2008 Share Posted February 17, 2008 http://www.whitehouse.gov/history/presidents/wh9.html One of my favorites, lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~KRYLON2~ Posted February 19, 2008 Share Posted February 19, 2008 i just thought this looked cool Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~KRYLON2~ Posted February 19, 2008 Share Posted February 19, 2008 washington is cool with me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WarGeneral710 Posted February 22, 2008 Share Posted February 22, 2008 1. Franklin D. Roosevelt (reforming economy after great depression, refined social security act of the townsend plan, created jobs) 2. John F. Kennedy (loved his stance on civil rights) 3. Woodrow Wilson (loved the way he handled go into war world I, didn't want to until the fucking nazi started to sinking ships) 4. Thomas Jefferson (self explanatory) 5. Theodore Roosevelt (what would the industrial revolution be without this guy) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angelofdeath Posted February 22, 2008 Share Posted February 22, 2008 with the exception of thomas jefferson, those presidents all suck. FDR prolonged the depression. Kennedy suffers from the johnny cash syndrome. no one liked him till he died. wilson, was the first gw bush. speading democracy around the world, took us into world war 1. TR... changed the course of american foreign policy forever. eh, different strokes for different folks. cant figure out why thomas jefferson, one of the best presidents ever, in reguards to the constitution and liberty, is included in that list of statists. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thecoldmidwest Posted February 22, 2008 Share Posted February 22, 2008 Kennedy suffers from the johnny cash syndrome. no one liked him till he died. Didn't Kennedy try to get rid of the Federal Reserve? That's pretty badass, seeing how that's what most likely got him shot.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DonCheadle Posted February 22, 2008 Share Posted February 22, 2008 Aaron Burr would've been the whip if the dude Jefferson wasn't runnin a scam on him /NH Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Theo Huxtable. Posted February 22, 2008 Share Posted February 22, 2008 Bush landed on an aircraft carrier in an F-16 wearing a flight suit and helmet. did Washington or Jackson or any of them fools do that? nooooooooo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angelofdeath Posted February 23, 2008 Share Posted February 23, 2008 yeah kennedy did sign some executive order allowing the us government to issue silver certificates on the silver in its reserves... pretty neat i guess. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TAMER Posted February 25, 2008 Share Posted February 25, 2008 He also failed crucially at faking a Cuban revolutionary-originated invasion of Cuba (Bay of Pigs) then proceeded to fail multiple times at trying to assassinate Castro. But on a side note, he did get mad pussy so I can't be throwin that much salt on his game. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WedgetheRonin Posted May 13, 2009 Share Posted May 13, 2009 George Washington FTW! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mercer Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 Jackson sucked. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baron Von Counterculture Posted May 15, 2009 Share Posted May 15, 2009 The real badass's of the presidents club: (In no real order but Amin has to top the list...) 1. Idi Amin His rule was characterised by human rights abuses, political repression, ethnic persecution, extrajudicial killings and the expulsion of Asians from Uganda. The number of people killed as a result of his regime is unknown; estimates from international observers and human rights groups range from 100,000 to 500,000. Over time, Amin became more erratic and outspoken. In 1977, after Britain had broken diplomatic relations with his regime, Amin declared he had beaten the British, and conferred on himself the decoration of CBE (Conqueror of the British Empire). Radio Uganda then read out the whole of his new title: "His Excellency President for Life, Field Marshal Al Hadji Doctor Idi Amin Dada, VC, DSO, MC, CBE." In 1971, Amin and Zaire's president Mobutu Sese Seko changed the names of Lake Albert and Lake Edward to Lake Mobutu Sese Seko and Lake Idi Amin Dada, respectively. Amin became the subject of rumours and myths, including a widespread belief that he was a cannibal. During Amin's reign, popular media outside of Uganda often portrayed Amin as an essentially comic figure. In a 1977 assessment typical of the time, a Time magazine article described him as a "killer and clown, big-hearted buffoon and strutting martinet". For focusing on Amin's excessive tastes and self-aggrandizing eccentricities, the foreign media was often criticized for downplaying or excusing his murderous behavior. Other commentators even suggested that Amin had deliberately cultivated his reputation in the foreign media as an easily-parodied buffoon in order to defuse international concern over his administration of Uganda. 2. Nicolae Ceauşescu- By 1989, Ceauşescu was showing signs of complete denial of reality. While the country was going through extremely difficult times with long bread queues in front of empty food shops, he was often shown on state TV entering stores filled with food supplies, visiting large food and arts festivals where people would serve him mouthwatering food while praising the "high living standard" achieved under his rule. Special contingents of food deliveries would fill stores before his visits, and even well-fed cows would be transported across country in anticipation of his visits to farms. Staples such as flour, eggs, butter and milk were difficult to find and most people started to depend on small gardens grown either in small city alleys or out in the country. In late 1989, daily TV broadcasts showed lists of CAPs (kolkhozes) with alleged record harvests, in blatant contradiction to the shortages experienced by the average Romanian at the time. Some people, believing that Ceauşescu was not aware of what was going on in the country, attempted to hand him petitions and complaint letters during his many visits around the country. However, each time he got a letter, he would immediately pass it on to members of his security. Whether or not Ceauşescu ever read any of them will probably remain unknown. According to rumours of the time,[who?] people attempting to hand letters directly to Ceauşescu risked adverse consequences, courtesy of the secret police Securitate. People were strongly discouraged from addressing him and there was a general sense that things had reached an overall low. 3.François Duvalier- Dr. François Duvalier, known as "Papa Doc" (April 14, 1907 – April 21, 1971), was the President of Haiti from 1957 to 1971. In 1964 he made himself President for Life. He ruled until his death in 1971, in a regime marked by autocracy, corruption and state-sponsored terrorism through his private militia known as Tonton Macoutes. It has been estimated that he was responsible for 30,000 dead and exile of thousands more. In addition to his pervasive control over Haitian life, Duvalier also fostered an extensive personality cult around himself, and claimed to be the physical embodiment of the island nation. Within the country, Duvalier used both political murder and expulsion to suppress his opponents; estimates of those killed are as high as 30,000. Haitian communists and suspected communists, in particular, bore the brunt of the government's repression. Attacks on Duvalier from within the military were treated as especially serious; in 1967 the fact that bombs were detonated near the Presidential Palace led to his execution of twenty Presidential Guard officers. Such tactics kept the country in Duvalier's grip until his death in early 1971. His 19-year-old son Jean-Claude Duvalier followed him as president. 4. Zia Ul Haq- Zia's major domestic initiatives included the country's Islamization, the consolidation of the fledgling nuclear program, denationalization and deregulation leading to a rejuvenated economy. His tenure saw the disbanding of the Baloch insurgency, as well as the abridgement of civil and political liberties. His endorsement of rightwing political party Pakistan Muslim League initiated its mainstream revival. However, he is most remembered for his foreign policy; the subsidizing of the Mujahideen movement during the 1979 Soviet invasion of Afghanistan. Zia died along with several of his top generals and the then United States Ambassador to Pakistan in an aircraft crash near Bahawalpur (Punjab) on August 17, 1988, the circumstances of which remain unclear. 5.Saparmyrat Ataýewiç Nyýazow- Saparmyrat Ataýewiç Nyýazow (19 February 1940 – 21 December 2006) was a Turkmen politician who served as President of Turkmenistan from 2 November 1990 until his death in 2006. He was First Secretary of the Turkmen Communist Party from 1985 until 1991 and continued to lead Turkmenistan for 15 years after independence from the Soviet Union in 1991. He was known in English as Saparmurat Atayevich Niyazov, the romanization of the Russian spelling Сапармурат Атаевич Ниязов of his Turkmen name. As one of the world's most totalitarian and repressive dictators, highlighting his reputation of imposing his personal eccentricities upon the country, which extended to renaming months after members of his family. He was also known for an all-pervasive cult of personality which, in many ways, exceeded that of Joseph Stalin. He also banned lip-synching so he wasn't all bad... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lord_casek Posted May 15, 2009 Share Posted May 15, 2009 1: Thomas Jefferson (a hero of mine) 2: General George Washington read "1776". 3: John Adams partial to his pre-presidential career. not so much his presidency. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
russell jones Posted May 17, 2009 Share Posted May 17, 2009 I thought all you libertarians were supposed to love Martin van Buren. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smooth bruce Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 3. Woodrow Wilson (loved the way he handled go into war world I, didn't want to until the fucking nazi started to sinking ships) Which part did you love most? His destruction of US labour or his propaganda campaigns to scare the population so he could join in on WW1... which had nothing to do with Nazis... idiot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lord_casek Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 I thought all you libertarians were supposed to love Martin van Buren. constitutional conservative Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dowmagik Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 5. Andrew Jackson Another little known fact about Andrew Jackson is he was reincarnated as Ray from The Trailer Park Boys. The way of the road, boys, the way of the road... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DPMS556 Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 Andrew Jackson Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angelofdeath Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 I thought all you libertarians were supposed to love Martin van Buren. van buren was decent. none of the early presidents were as ideologically 'pure' (even small r republicans or anti federalists)as say a ron paul or howard buffett. jackson gets high marks in my opinion on shutting down the bank, separation of powers, etc. but he was a nationalist. while fairly devoted to liberty, he did support the forced removal of native peoples from the southern appalachians onto indian reservations. one particular incident at his supper table, with VP john c calhoun... he proposed a toast to the union. (during a time when secession of the south was a hot topic, over the tariff of abominations) calhoun cleverly countered with...'second to our liberty, most dear.' of course my favorite president was william henry harrison. he only survived in office for a month. so obviously, he couldnt screw up to much. so he hands down is the 'best' president. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dreaken1993 Posted May 30, 2009 Share Posted May 30, 2009 didnt jackson dissolve the federal banks and shit idk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dreaken1993 Posted May 30, 2009 Share Posted May 30, 2009 didnt jackson try to dissolve the federal banks and shit idk hahaha nazis world war one hahahahha aww what you learn in history class Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dreaken1993 Posted May 30, 2009 Share Posted May 30, 2009 didnt jackson abolish the federal banks or sumthing hahaha nazis lolo ahahaha world war 1 what we learn in history class Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
REVⒶLT Posted June 21, 2009 Share Posted June 21, 2009 FUCK AMERICA. FUCK ALL HIERARCHY. (Even though I'm related to Adams) (both of them) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silba Posted June 22, 2009 Share Posted June 22, 2009 Clinton should be there.........c'mon he got his shit sucked, word to that..plus he did some other cool shit, like........Gulf War, got in, got out, just like him and Monica... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crime stoppers Posted June 22, 2009 Share Posted June 22, 2009 Dwight Eisenhower...dude warned you all about the threat of a military industrial complex and how it would fuck your country up, but you still did it anyway. One of the few presidents with a straight up political agenda. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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