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my life is over!


pissdrunkwhat?!

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Austin is my home.

I know people.

Scratch that, I know everybody ever.

I never see them.

You know why?

Because I would rather sit on my mom's couch and watch American Idol with my niece versus going to some lame party and getting wasted and trying to pick fights with dudes that look like little girls or girls that look like little sluts.

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She is a tiger.

And she is married to a total sleaze ball.

They are swingers.

I can hook that up for you if you want.

 

I am getting her sleazy husband to give me a free janky tattoo tomorrow.

Might as well.

It can't possibly be any worse than what I have already done to myself.

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