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Fart Techniques


Milk Grenades

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This thread should go the direction of FARTING TECHNIQUES. as in,

 

1.do you lean?

 

2. how do you try to get it by silently? by barely supressing it and then just letting it kind of inch out?

 

3.do you fart in front of your girlfriend?

 

4. does she in front of you?

 

5. have you had wet farts?

 

6. one time i was riding in a shopping cart, backwards (score 1), in wal mart, and my girlfriend was pushing me (score 2), and she went to get some cereal off the shelf cause i commanded it (score 3), nad while she was there i farted like real quiet but real long, where at the end you like push out the rest of it, and it smelled reallllllllllllly bad, and then she came back before i expected and leaned in to give me a kiss, and she put her face right where the smell of death lurked, and just fucking gagged. she left the store.

 

needless to say i was quite proud.

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when i was a little boy, perhaps around the age of 8 or 9, i would sit in the bathtub. staring. contemplating. about what, i'm not sure. different things. occassionally i would release a warm intestinal gas from my lower abdomen, exiting my anal region. i would often marvel at the wonderous nature and motion of the gaseous bubble as it made its aqueous journey from the lower extremeties of the bathtub up to the waterline -- like a whale levitating to the surface to release air from its blowhole. the bubble would then inevitably pop, and soon thereafter, a stench would fill the air.

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