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Milk Grenades

Fart Techniques

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1. How to make someone listen to your fart.

 

People feel like fart without unexpectedly.

Do you want someone to listen your fart clearly?

I'll tell you the technique to do this.

 

When you want to fart, say that:

"Oh, did you hear the lady cry in the distance?

This phrase surely make your partner concentrate on the sound.

 

Listeningenglish.gif

 

That's the moment you blast fart strongly!

 

2. The techniques of continue to fart almost endlessly.

 

This is the very difficult technique and I can't do this, but I saw my friend's brother do this.

 

First you pat your hip to promote your fart.

Then you feel like to fart.

 

 

openenglish.gif

 

 

Second step is the very difficult and important.

You need a special skill.

The moment the gas comes out of your ass, and before the gas

goes off your hip, you close your hip quickly and then make the gas

come back to your ass.

 

closeenglish.gif

 

You can fart endlessly.

 

I only succeeded only one time, only two fart, though.

 

 

3. How to fart in front of someone's face.

 

If you have your friends smell your fart completely,

this technique is really effective.

You say to your friends like this.

 

(At this time you have the big box, bags or something like that

with your both hands. In short, you tell your friends you can't use

both your hands.)

 

You: Hey, will you pick my key out of my rear pocket?

Friend: O.K.

 

(Your friend will search the key in your pocket.

but no keys there. It is a lie.)

 

You: Hey, search harder. It must be.

 

 

facefart.gif

(The harder your friend look for it,

the closer his face must approach to your hip.)

Don't miss this moment.

You fart with your power full.

 

We are looking forward to your farts skill. Please mail us.

 

 

http://www.geocities.jp/takasusyachou/fart2/fartsmaster2.html

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haha. I do the "crop duster" all the time...

 

the crop duster is where you walk by someone, fart, keep walking, and leave them to wallow in the stench.

 

*edit* There's pretty much no such thing as classy when you work with truck drivers and warehouse guys...

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the best is when your in some corporate office, or somewhere nice, and you let a fuckin nasty one go.

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i can make fake farts sound very real... you gotta cup your lips in one hand.. muffle it into your should and make the fart sound with your lips... sounds real once you get it down

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this is japanese site. a fart story from the page:

 

 

Farts and Dogs

 

Dogs have much stronger sense of smell than human.

Then what happened if they smell the fart?

What do you think of this question?

 

I experimented on my dog, John.

I expected he ran away or barked.

But his reaction was totally different.

 

John usually comes running to me when I come home.

He bites my hand or a bag, and jumps at me with his tail waving.

He loves me and I loves him.

 

On the very day, he dashed to me and bite my holdings.

I played with him some time and when his face approached

my hip, I farted.

Boo! Yes! A big one! I got it!

 

When he heard the sound, he got very surprised.

He stopped, and got alert for something.

As you know, he was surprised at rather the sound

than the smell of my fart.

Where does it come?

What is that sound?

I farted again.

He seriously looked around many times.

 

For the dogs, fart is a strange visitor.

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and the thread you made about making fun of n00bz isn't? i'm sorry i forgot channel zero was only for serious intellectual threads.

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