groyn shmoyn Posted June 7, 2007 Share Posted June 7, 2007 so last week was one of those days where i felt like i didnt want to go to work... this happens often but i hardly ever do anything about it. so i decided to call in and say someone vandalized my car and i wanted to get paid for a personal day... so they asked what happened and i told them someone threw a brick thru my back window... i have a few (yes... just a few) stickers on my back window. so i obviously have to rip them off and spray windex to make it look new... you know... like i replaced it. soooooo.... 5 minutes of elbow grease = a day off of work to do nothing and still getting paid. on that note... im off to work. and if anyone would like to share lame ass excuses that work such as myself... feel free to do so. see joo guyz l8r. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gat Bush Posted June 7, 2007 Share Posted June 7, 2007 gotta pick up my little sister from the airport. family related excuses work best Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lepthebeard Posted June 7, 2007 Share Posted June 7, 2007 ...i'm the bossman....no excuse needed!... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fat ralphy Posted June 7, 2007 Share Posted June 7, 2007 sometimes i say i fucked all night and my dick is chapped but that doesnt always work so instead i just dont even call in then later make up an outrageous story like i was at a bank that got robbed....or that a kid got hit by a car and i drove him to the hospital... and if i really want some time off i quit Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Some1 Posted June 7, 2007 Share Posted June 7, 2007 Just say hey sorry for the short notice some things came up I need to take a personal day... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ILOTSMYBRAIN Posted June 7, 2007 Share Posted June 7, 2007 man i'm in a union, it takes about 5 no call no shows within a quarter for me to even start sweating it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA_BEARS Posted June 7, 2007 Share Posted June 7, 2007 Here are a few of my gems: "My car alarm is on the fritz and I cant turn it off!!" Then the next day you can make up this bogus story about how you called the guy that hooked it up and after hours of diagnosing he realized that all you needed was a fresh battery in the remote! "The guy in the apartment above mine left his tub running in the morning and fell asleep...while I was getting ready like a model employee I noticed that water was leaking from the ceiling!! Now it messed up my TV, DVD player, Xbox!! So I have to stay back because my landlord needs me to get all this wet equipment out of the way while he fixes the water damage! ...I got a shit load more! Having kids and living in a city with harsh winters is the best material for calling in!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wayne hits Posted June 7, 2007 Share Posted June 7, 2007 like fat ralphy, i have actually admitted to my boss i was fucking a new chickall last night and let me off work. THE BEST excuse, period, is you got diarreah. i am convinced there is no better excuse. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrishCarBombs Posted June 7, 2007 Share Posted June 7, 2007 you got your penis stuck in your zipper Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spitfire15 Posted June 7, 2007 Share Posted June 7, 2007 I clicked on this thread with the sole intention of telling you to say "My dick hurts". Appearntly alot of people think the same as I. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BruceLeroy Posted June 7, 2007 Share Posted June 7, 2007 i just tell them the GOUT got my big toe again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AyeBee Posted June 7, 2007 Share Posted June 7, 2007 Diahrea is a pretty unstoppable excuse...I was told by a manager at my job "I know you're probably lying, but there's not really much I can say to that" One of my managers is cool as fuck, so I'm usually pretty honest, such as "Man I'm still way too drunk" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MAR Posted June 7, 2007 Share Posted June 7, 2007 I had a boss that was the same way. If you were still drunk or overslept he was cool with it as long as you were honest. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cool Water Posted June 7, 2007 Share Posted June 7, 2007 i turned up late for college once and my tutor was this real old guy and he got onto this subject about people being late for work. he said when he was younger at work one of his employees was late everyday and it got to the point where he just made up stupid excuses, he said one of them was: "sorry im late its the wifes birthday so i thought id give her one before i went to work." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hayabusa Posted June 7, 2007 Share Posted June 7, 2007 explosive diarhea usually covers it well Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
26SidedCube Posted June 8, 2007 Share Posted June 8, 2007 "SOMEONE SMASHED MY WINDSHIELD..." You can only use it once, but it's golden in a bind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2Blazzed Posted June 8, 2007 Share Posted June 8, 2007 MY HERPES ARE FLARING UP Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnUpsetStomach Posted June 8, 2007 Share Posted June 8, 2007 when you're creative with your excuses thats when they're more beleivable. "I ate some really bad octopus and I think i got food poisoning" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IOU Posted June 8, 2007 Share Posted June 8, 2007 I've actually lied about being arrested... And my supervisor said not to say nothing to no one and just say it a family issue... Mind you I didn't call for at least a day, maybe two.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*PROTOCOL* Posted June 8, 2007 Share Posted June 8, 2007 I said the automatic garage door was stuck open, a man was on his way to fix it but in the meantime there was too much valuable shit to leave it unattended. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
groyn shmoyn Posted June 8, 2007 Author Share Posted June 8, 2007 i think ive had food poisioning 3 times in the past 6 months. and 2 flat tires. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnUpsetStomach Posted June 8, 2007 Share Posted June 8, 2007 I said the automatic garage door was stuck open, a man was on his way to fix it but in the meantime there was too much valuable shit to leave it unattended. I would totally believe this one if i was a manager. Some of your are great liars. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
10 Dollar Blowjobs Posted June 8, 2007 Share Posted June 8, 2007 I SHIT MY PANTS AND DIDNT WANT TO STINK UP THE OFFICE Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
groyn shmoyn Posted June 8, 2007 Author Share Posted June 8, 2007 ^^^that would prolly only work if you already went into work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SADDAM HUSSEIN Posted June 8, 2007 Share Posted June 8, 2007 i just start puking all over the place... fo real Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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