Alcoholism

[redeyedanimal]

^That being said, there is still a difference between a dry drunk and a recovering alcoholic.

I'm gonna go a week again and see how it works, this time i'm gonna hit up a meeting for the first time in years.

Seriously though, I have anxiety and depression issues from some fairly recent family shit, anybody tried medications to help with not drinking to keep from stabbing motherfuckers? Sometimes I just wanna stab a motherfucker, and its not even their fault...

[CMF]

klonopin

[yardwanderer]

In response to that story up there..

 

You should help your friend as long as doing so is not hurting you.. Feel me? You can help him get into a program and such, but don't make his problems yours.

 

If you have hobbies that don't involve getting drunk or high... See if he might be interested in getting involved. You can help him see that there is life beyond drinking and doing blow.

 

He has problems, but is doing well in other aspects of his life. Seems like he sees the negatives, does he see the positive things he has going for him tho?

 

Realizing what he has will help him get his shit together and avoid self-destruct mode

[redeyedanimal]

@beershits: have you used this personally? How does klonopine compare to xanax?

I used to eat them in high school, but that was a long time ago and just for fun.

I definitely cannot keep living a life this angry, and I definitely can't keep drinking the way I have been in the past few months, or I'll be dead or in the penitentiary in no time.

[redeyedanimal]

That won't change the fact that I want to kill most of the people around me most of the time, just because. Not that I am a violent or confrontational person, just fucking angry and irritable almost all the time these days.

I'm going to speak with a certified professional rather than an anonymous forum. (Red's Real Talk)

I'm even willing to be completely honest with a doc to get this shit straightened out. I'm not tryin to get hooked on benzos tryin to get off booze, then get hooked on both and have three crutches for two legs.

[yardwanderer]

^^Wise thinking.

 

Benzos are used to wean serious alcoholics off the sauce in a clinical setting, but combine them with booze on your own terms and you are just asking for trouble.

 

I've seen a lot of people go to jail over benzos... Or get into baaad situations because they were looped on the shit, or mixing with other drugs..

 

Not to mention if you develop a habit, QUITTING benzos is probably the worst w/d you will ever experience, it's arguably worse than dope w/d's.

 

If you're interested, google the long term effects of benzodiazepine use and abuse. That is not the route to go if you want to become a calmer person.

 

P.S. You also asked about Xanax vs. Klonopin. Xanax has a shorter half-life, meaning it's quicker to act but the effects last for less time than Klonopin. When I ( a b )used benzos, I liked Xanax much better b/c it kicks in almost immediately, which is really what someone abusing or trying to banish anxiety is seeking. However, that makes it easier to get hooked on. Once you reach a certain point and develop tolerance there difference between them is less obvious

 

Really dirty medicine..

[yardwanderer]

Oh yeah and another point for you people struggling to better yourselves.. I cannot stress the importance of healthful diet / exercise!!! I'm not talking about forcing yourself to eat.. I'm talking about fruits, vegetables, fish, lean meats versus fast food high fructose convenience store garbage.

 

Ever not eaten for days on end? Then you must know how big a difference eating well makes, and the relationship between diet and mental state.

 

It's not only what you DON'T do..

[fat ralphy]

Yo if your boy doesn't get some help sounds like he the type of dude to end up in a box.

 

not just a lack of self control with alcohol there but in general, yayo, gambling, money the whole thing. i really hope that outpatient helps him to get things in perspective.

 

I'm still here fellas.....

 

Redeye, I got on some Zoloft for anxiety/depression about 8 months ago. Shit has changed my life, anxiety is fucked up. The only advice I have is if shit isn't working for you let the Doc know because they can switch it up.

 

Met a kid today who is 26 and just got out from a county term for DUI/Drunk in Public. He said to me how he has stopped drinking and he wants a family a job and a good life. It was a trip to be able to tell him I stopped drinking at 26 and I have all of those things he is looking for simply because I don't drink anymore.

 

Yomommasaho, sometimes the only thing you can do is be an example.

[yomommasaho]

kpins and xanax raise the stakes a lot when combined with even moderate drinking

 

dude i knew since elementary school just died from this literally 2 weeks ago.

 

its way too fucking easy to get killed combining pills and booze.

[yomommasaho]

friday night, this dude wanted to go out to the bar so fuckin bad,

not to get fucked up, but the opposite: to feel normal. he didnt want

to admit he has a problem. me, i didnt even wanna go out, not because

i didnt wanna become an enabler, but because i legitly didnt feel like drinking

or dealing with the bullshit at our local bar scene. he stayed on my ass

about because no one else was around and i was like the only one he

could count on to go out. i insisted i wasnt going to do it, and he was like

fine, i guess im doin it by myself. one of my other pals, pretty laid back

dude ive known most of my life, was chillin with us and was down to

roll. at that point i was like ehhh, what the hell, i grab a beer with them.

 

the next day, i get a text from him "i didnt wanna say anything in front

of ****, but one of the reasons i wanted you to come out with me is to

watch my back". i havent called him out on it yet, but ive got a big problem

with this for 2 reasons.

 

1 is exactly what you said yardy, now ive gotta make your problem my problem?

ive got your back, ill bail you out of jail, ill swing on the dude talking shit, i give

and give and give, but if you need me to be there to make sure you dont go

overboard driniking, dude, then you shouldnt be in the bar in the first place and

you definitely shouldnt make your weakness my responsibility. its a fine line and

that shit definitely doesnt qualify.

 

2nd, if youve gotta be sneaky about that shit, thats typically a sign you shouldnt

be doing it in the first place. im a native to this town, the rest of this set came in

from the outlying suburbs when they got jobs here; none of em have seen/done shit,

they all live a safe, clean existence. im not mad at them for that, theyre all good

dudes and like to party, we have our fun. but this dude will tell me "dont let anyone

else know we did blow that night", or like put it on me because im the one he does

his dirt with. basically falls under the same category of i dont need someone elses

shit to look after, if youve gotta lie about it/keep it secret, you probably shouldnt

be doing it.

[redeyedanimal]

Yeah dude, do your best to be there for him without making his problems your own. I'm not giving advice, just an opinion.

And your dead on about having to keep secrets, once I start justifying shit in my own life everything gets a lot worse.

 

I hope this dude has the very rare epiphany, I wish that for anyone that has a real problem and is trying to go into remission. But it took a long time to get to that point, and it will take quite a bit longer to get out from that point.

[yardwanderer]

friday night, this dude wanted to go out to the bar so fuckin bad,

not to get fucked up, but the opposite: to feel normal.

 

That's when you propose an alternative.. Or not. That's your prerogative.

 

So next time it happens you need to say exactly what you said here and tell him you're not going to babysit him since he is a grown man.

 

You're a good friend to have his back, but like you said, he probably shouldn't be in a bar in the first place when he can't keep his composure

[sayWORD?]

start work again tomorrow.

drinking beer to put myself to sleep.

insomnia fucking sucks.

 

i hate my brain and the thoughts it conjures up when im sober.

 

taking a cab into work and signing a contract that forbids me from running any equipment.

 

go me.

[PITOFZOMBIES]

Reading A Million Little Pieces. Was put off by all the Oprah-NY-Times-Best-Seller bullshit, but found a copy for a buck, so i picked it up. Definitely not a bad read thus far. A little repetitive, but a lot of the thoughts while sobering up were. I will say that i could tell it was not an entirely true story from the very first page. I'm not sure if that whole deal was a big publicity stunt or what, but even in the 90's no one gets put on an airplane in a blacked out stupor with open wounds all over their face.

I don't recall having quite the sense of doubt about being able to get my shit right that homeboy does. I'm only about 1/3 through the book, but there is definitely a lot to relate to. I'd say it's worth a read (again, thus far) for anyone going through this shit. Reading was a huge part of getting better, for me. Both this forum, as well as other literature/novels/etc. were key in helping me feel like someone had been there before. A major comfort, no doubt. When you keep all that shit in your head and to yourself, and don't have any outside sources to reflect upon, you're much more likely to let your mind start twisting facts around and convince you that you got it under control this time...

 

It is pretty funny to think about some housewives and clean-cut professionals reading about this shit and thinking they can wrap their head around it. Not necessarily a bad thing that they have a glimpse, i guess... but it's just that, a "glimpse"...

 

Blah blah blah

[shai]

Five months as of today. I decided that since I don't know exactly when my last drink was I'm just gonna say it was on January 5 and leave it at that.

 

Hope everyone's doing good. Had a moment at a show last night, I was having fun and wanted a PBR just because it had been a while and I figured one beer would probably be all right....then I saw the drunk people and thought "Oh, yeah. Right" and the urge went away just like that.

[CMF]

on second though. MOTHER FUCK KLONOPIN, that shit had me dazed and confused for 12 years. im just now getting my life back. and some of my brain issues. they thought i was skitzoeffective turns out i was just on a lot of drugs and drank. use benzos sparingly, they can send you down a deep hole.

[redeyedanimal]

Yeah, I did some research on the lasting effects of benzos, as well as their withdrawal effects, and decided that shit was not for me. It sounds as bad as gettin off of junk, not that I've ever been there but got some old friends that I've seen dope sick. Looks shitty.

 

I am drinking 2 beers a night, and still taking all herbal meds. Something that I am takin has me thinking about things more rationally, and able to care about tomorrow. I'll have to ask the herbalist what combination is keeping my mind out of that dark hole...

 

Also, stepped on a wineglass at work a few nights ago, broken stem face up of the ground went through my shoe and between two of my toes, only cut one toe and didn't need stitches.

When I was drinking a lot, I would have blamed the job, the waitstaff, the managers, all the people around me, and cussed up a storm about it. Being more clearheaded made me realize shit happens, and I am lucky that it went between my toes instead of into the ball of my foot. I NEVER would have been able to keep a positive attitude about that if I wasn't staying 'less-than-buzzed' every night.

 

Booze is a depressant (technically speaking, protester) which affects the mind and body as a depressant. In large quantities it can make you completely ignore positivity, because misery loves company. Booze is misery, don't let it get you. Take a reign on that shit before it gets too bad, and if it is getting bad, take a real honest look at yourself and see how you feel.

 

Life is treating me well right now, no need to fuck it up with selfish tendencies and destructive habits.

AND, chances are, life is treating most people better than they think it is. Write a list of things you are grateful for. It helps.

[fat ralphy]

POZ that is a good book....

 

Cupcake Brown is a true story about recovery, it's about a female but it's a pretty good read.

 

 

Really happy to see so many of you dudes in here talking about making things better. I am definitely motivated by other dudes on here.

 

Thanks Broskis /nobro

[Brickos]

Looks like I'm going join you nugras in this thread...

 

New bird in Brickos' life thought being English, Brickos' drinking habit could be tolerated.

 

She was wrong.

 

Need to pull my head in...

 

 

 

OK... Baby steps... Monday nights off.

 

Yeah Shai riding is good.

[theprotester]

Perfect start mate. The only one thing I would suggest, is don't make her the reason, she's part of it but you should be the number one reason you want to cut back.

 

My girl was 'my reason', when she left it was hard to figure out that the real reason should've been me all along.

[Brickos]

True... Gave up ciggies the same day the last broad left... Day late and a dollar short.

 

Tuna steaks were awesome for dinner.

[fat ralphy]

steaks gonna steak.

 

 

 

dont drink motherfuckers dat shit aint good for you right now blood

 

[yardwanderer]

Never change who you are for a female or anyone else. Make change for yourself. Otherwise something can happen, and you are liable to find yourself picking up the pieces and wondering what happened.

 

Be mindful of YOUR actions. YOUR being the key word

 

Just take it 1 day at a time

[Sleazeside Heights]

Just wanted to share some positive updates. Lost track, but it's been about 2 weeks since I've had a drop of booze. I've been too busy to even drink, distractions and diversions are totally key. I want to thank POZ for all the support, and for telling me to get out there and skateboard that day. I actually landed a job by leaving the house that day, and have been skating hard twice a week. I've been seeing bars on my way home filled with drunken jocks and obnoxious behavior, that is definitely a turn off, and has been a deterrent. Last night friend had someone over, and was like "hang out, grab a beer!" I was like nah I'm cool, I haven't been drinking. reaction was positive. Other night I saw that there was beer stocked in the fridge, and almost took one, before I stopped and thought about it. Snapped myself out of it, and was cool for the rest of the night. But every once in a while I get the sudden intense craving out of nowhere to want a drink. Happened twice or 3 times today. That part sucks.

 

There's been a lot going on, I've got to find a new place to live, with no free time from work, death in the family, job stress, etc. etc. But I've been handling it well I think. If I were drinking, I guarantee I would not have the same optimism, or patience to deal as I do now.

 

Was also wondering if any of you males have noticed more hair loss with increased use of cigarettes and alcohol? I know stress and genetics play a part, but vices also speed up the aging process. Just curious as to your personal experience.

 

stay up nurga maynes^

[Sleazeside Heights]

Also, crazy thing happened. Went to visit an old co-worker. I did not see her drinking, and was not under the impression she was, cause she seemed her usual self. we get in the car to get pizza,and all of a sudden, she's all over the place, on the other side of the road, almost hitting cars. I take control of the wheel and avoid 3 or 4 almost accidents. She starts freaking out, telling me to let go of the wheel, and that she's a "good driver." I'm panicking at this point fpr safety's sake, and we pull over in a parking lot.

 

I know she has gotten a DUI before, but thought she learned her lesson. I'm pissed she did that, but annoyed I couldn't tell, and stop it before it happening.

 

After we got back she was calling on the phone, cursing at customer service reps, calling her exes and saying mean things, and then complaining that she has no one at 40 years old.

 

this is what alcohol does, it's sad. Not judging, because I've done embarrassing things on liquor, but I do not want to end up like that.

[yardwanderer]

^^Good lookin

 

Cravings are really annoying. I still get the craving to use when I'm in certain places or something triggers it inside.. After damn near 1 1/2 years.. All you can do is ignore them. Another thing that helps is when you feel the craving grab a stress ball or just do some neutral tic, basically you are reconditioning your body. If you do it enough when you have that thought you can do the tic and kill it dead.. haha

 

If you drink every day and stop you will definitely notice your nails grow faster and I guess hair as well. For sure alcohol and cigarettes will make you bald quick altho genetics play a role.

 

I wonder about moderate drinking tho, because alcohol decreases testosterone, which is said to be the culprit of male pattern baldness..

[yardwanderer]

Wow just read the second post and that's scary man..

[anybody_wanna_peanut?]

just checkin in. yo sizes can i still use ur number sometime, same with you poz? anyway im in a 12step program and i have a sponsor. all of this has been key, i have good support now, besides this interweb thread, and im workin on 19 days clean today. it took some shit to get me in there. but im here now and sober. if anyone wants my number or other numbers please pm me, ill try to check this thread more. ive been couch surfin and then there was a problem w the internet, all types of shit been goin on.

 

yard. good to see your still here guiding and sharing wisdom, your the shit man. all you guys are.

saywhat? hope your doing welll homie. and to everyone else whos sick or suffering, you dont gotta live like that no more.

 

 

but lets kiss it goodbye for good now.

 

 

 

youll get it after u hear the song. no homo

[Sleazeside Heights]

That Jawbreaker song! posted it here before, hope people take time to listen to it, so relate-able congrats on 19 days, keep it up.

[CILONE/SK]

One of the more well known oontzers just went over a year sober. I am on FB with that person, which is why i know, but I do not want to put her name out there.

 

Congrats _________!!!!!