Alcoholism

[sayWORD?]

thanks for the kind words sm.

 

must spread rep.

[brothhalynch]

bump this guy^^ who ever the fuck he is ^^

[anybody_wanna_peanut?]

Bump this right now. I need to get thru today

[jbrshmonster]

good luck!

 

 

3 days not drinking.:twitch:

 

very much NOT looking forward to a bachelor party this weekend.

[OhMyGosh!]

March 13th 1999 was the last time I used any so I suppose my credentials are a little dated. Of the people I used with there have been varied outcomes including the usual suspects of death, institutions and jails but also sobriety, functional addiction mainly to alcohol and the couple of odd ducks that just kept on tweaking.

 

A bit late...but happy anniversary. :)

 

Mine is coming up in june. Lucky 13. Its strange to look back on everything...to think that things really were that bad before. Ive lost touch with pretty much everybody I used to roll with. But through the rumor mill, ive heard of a few deaths. I think there have been a few attempts at sobriety..with not much to show for it. A few dudes are still locked up. Its a dose of reality to see that im not really missing much. When I got sober...things never got any better out there from where I was at...but that stuff was to be expected kind of. Whats even more real to me, is that out of all the people who were getting sober when I was, I dont think any of them have stayed clean. There are maybe a handful that have put some years together after bouncing in and out for a while..but thats it. Ive been to more funerals in sobriety of people who couldnt get it then before. I guess my point in saying all this is to point out the fact that wanting or needing to stay sober was never enough for me to make it happen. A substantial amount had to be done to get to the place where Im at. Things just had to get bad enough to where I was willing to begin doing it.

 

Any of you that are struggling, keep your head up. Its possible to feel better.

[yardwanderer]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rIAoilO0Bh0

[sayWORD?]

read this the other day, not saying its 100% accurate, but i found it entertaining.

maybe its a repost, whatever.

 

http://www.cracked.com/article_18824_5-things-nobody-tells-you-about-quitting-drinking.html

 

5 Things Nobody Tells You About Quitting Drinking

By: John Cheese November 05, 2010 3,266,281 views

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One year ago, I was hospitalized. I won't bore you with the details, so let's just say I was struck down with a case of having an enormous penis. Several vials of blood were taken for various tests, all of them coming back positive for a magnificent, awe-inspiring dong, which I was already fully aware of. What I didn't expect, however, was the doctor's first question when explaining my results.

 

"So ... how much do you drink per day?"

 

I started to answer, but he threw up a hand to stop me and continued, "If you don't stop drinking right now, you'll be dead before you're 40. You're 35, and your liver is already showing signs of shutting down. Then again, the faster all the drunks die off, the more space we free up in this hospital for people with actual medical problems that are beyond their own control." Then he punched me in the face and hobbled out of the room on his cane.

 

 

 

So I quit, cold turkey, after 22 years of what could only be called the my penis of alcohol addictions. That was a little over a year ago, and during that time I've discovered some things about quitting booze that they manage to leave out of inspirational movie montages.

 

#5.The Stench

 

 

For the first couple of days, stretching into the first couple of weeks, you sweat your ass off. Even on cold days, you can't keep a shirt dry with all the king's deodorant and all the king's men ... putting that deodorant on for you. (I'm not good with metaphors.)

 

 

As your body works overtime to rid itself of toxins, leftover alcohol and its byproducts that are stored in your lymph nodes will begin to seep out through not only your urine, but also your breath and the pores of your skin.

 

This isn't normal stink. If it was just persistent body odor, you could do something about it. No, this is stink on a demonic level. This is Stinkotronicus: Master of Stinkalarium, and it will make you do its bidding, lest it destroy you and all of those you hold dear. Showers do help, but their effect is very temporary and only seems to provoke it.

 

How bad is it? Another Cracked writer on the wagon (who posts as Yowhound) was actually kicked off of a public bus because of this ... in Europe. They've tolerated the French for thousands of years, but they couldn't handle one bus ride with a recovering alcoholic.

 

#4.The Nightmares

 

 

The stench isn't the end of the world (even if it smells exactly like how you imagine the apocalypse smelling). No, it's the insomnia that's the first major ass-kicker.

 

For many hardcore drinkers, "going to sleep" and "passing out" mean roughly the same thing. I personally never got black-out drunk, but I always went to bed with a good, deep buzz. I did it so often that my brain got used to the booze as a sleep aid. So much so that when I finally quit and the toxins began to disappear from my body, my brain became more active at bedtime and simply refused to shut down for the night (once more, this is common among detoxing alcoholics). But then, once you finally drift off, is when the fun starts.

 

That's when you get some of the most frequent and realistic nightmares you've ever experienced. Intense feelings of dread and anxiety thump through your sleeping mind, as if the stench demon decided to drift into your cerebral cortex.

 

Remember that your brain is not only more active but also in panic mode. It has become so used to having alcohol that it started thinking it was one of your normal bodily fluids. Imagine if you suddenly gave up food, taking all of your nutrients via an IV instead. Even if you were getting everything you needed, for a while your empty stomach would still send out the pain alarm that says, "INSERT FOOD OR YOU WILL DIE, DUMBASS!" The inside of a detoxing alcoholic's head is freaking out in the same manner.

 

One of the most common nightmares among alcoholics is the terrible recurring dream where you fall off the wagon. You fight all day to stay sober, then in your sleep you relapse. So in the dream you now have to explain to the people around you that you slipped. Not only do you feel all of the guilt and shame and frustration while you're dreaming, the feelings stick with you long after you wake up.

 

Like all the symptoms, it passes. What does not pass so easily is ...

 

 

 

#3.The Poop

 

 

It's like my grandma used to tell me: "John, when you really think about it, it all comes down to shitting. Now put in that VHS tape marked '5 Hours of Me Shitting' and I'll show you what I mean." Now, that video was a compilation of several different movements set to the "Moonlight Sonata," but if I had tried to make my own such video the camera's battery would have run out before I finished just one.

 

Alcohol has calories. Since a whole lot of an alcoholic's caloric intake comes out of a bottle, most alcoholics have very poor diets overall. So for instance, I would eat lunch, but by early evening, food would be replaced with booze. Drinking keeps the stomach busy, and alcohol suppresses the appetite. Then, maybe you binge on tacos at 2 a.m. As millions of college kids can tell you, the following day's result is known as "beer shits."

 

When you stop drinking, you subtract from the body all of those thousands of liquid calories, but now you're hungrier, so you eat to replace them. But a system used to digesting gallons of beer suddenly has pounds of meat and cheese to work on. It'd be like if a normal person spontaneously decided to spend a week slowly eating an entire moose.

 

The point being, have you ever shit an antler?

 

 

You have to kind of twist on the seat.

 

Because that's what it feels like. The intestines extract an insane amount of water from your feces, leaving you with a bowel full of granite. For me, this lasted for over a month before my body adjusted, and now I can pass a life-sized statue of the crucifixion through my colon. I'd write more about this, but I'm considering turning it into a book instead, as soon as I can find someone to illustrate it.

 

#2.The Urge to Murder

 

 

The first thing to go during detoxification is the mind. It starts to wander. Short-term memory misfires. The simplest tasks will require as much focus as defusing a time bomb.

 

There was a day in the first week of my own detoxification when I walked into the living room four times in a row to get my phone, but each time I forgot to pick it up. We've all done that before, right? The difference is that mine was ringing at the time.

 

Part of this lack of focus is because you're constantly tired from the insomnia/nightmare combination, part of it is the nervous system not having the security blanket of booze it's used to. And with that, came changes in mood.

 

The smallest things would irritate me into a full-blown rage. Little annoyances, like the person who was sitting at the same picnic table as me who wouldn't stop tapping his leg up and down, shaking the whole contraption. I wanted get a gun and murder him and all of the other people in the world who had failed to murder him up to that point.

 

Some people in that situation may have a few people close to them who sympathize with what they're going through (assuming they connect the bad mood with the alcohol at all, and they may not if they've never tried to quit). But to everyone else, you're just being an unmanageable twat. Fortunately, I still had my friends to make me feel better.

 

Well, I would have, if it hadn't turned out that most of my friends were in fact just drinking partners. When I told them I was quitting, they'd sort of nervously laugh, waiting for the punch line. Then, they'd respond with a genuinely surprised, "Really? Why?" Then they'd reassure me that I didn't have a drinking problem (because if I had a drinking problem, it meant they had a drinking problem).

 

That's when I'd find out that drinking was all we had in common. Then they'd start slyly trying to get me to drink, and I'd have visions of punching all of the skin off of their faces. So, for the first couple of weeks I wound up just avoiding people when at all possible. It sounds like a chickenshit way out, but it got me through the first of the bad spots without hurting many people in the process, and I murdered almost nobody.

 

 

Almost.

 

Once the irritability subsides, you're about to reap the rewards of ...

 

#1.The Blissful High

 

 

For a few days after a person becomes completely detoxed, his body will get an unexpected dose of oxygen, real food and natural chemicals that will put him on a natural high. It's just a symptom, just like the pooping, and likewise it won't last. Truthfully, you don't want it to.

 

But in the mean time, rainbows will shoot out of your ass, and it will feel like the final scenes of Independence Day. You've overcome your addictions! The alien ships have been destroyed! You just did what they all said you couldn't do!

 

Except you haven't. There is no finish line with alcohol recovery. Ninety percent of alcoholics relapse within the first four years. There are still shitloads of ships up there, and each one of them requires Randy Quaid to improbably fly into it at the exact moment it attacks with its giant laser beam.

 

 

 

It turns out that drinking doesn't make a person an alcoholic. The part of a person's brain that makes him drink to excess is what makes him an alcoholic, and the mechanism for the addiction is still there. This is why people in 12-step programs say that you'll always be an alcoholic, even if you're not drinking. Alcohol isn't the disease; it's a symptom. Or rather, it's an attempt to self-medicate the disease.

 

It's hard for people to understand why I can't just downgrade from "alcoholic" to "moderate drinker." There are plenty of people out there who can drink in moderation. They can down a couple with their friends, shit on the hood of a cop car, go to sleep and forget all about booze the next day. I'm not one of them. Neither was my dad, who died at age 49 from this shit.

 

I think I'll find a better way to teach my kids the same lesson.

 

If you're a drunk and have started to realize that your story is going to end with a bunch of your friends telling hilarious drinking stories at your funeral, I promise you that quitting is totally worth it, despite all the bad stuff I described above. I'm one year sober as of last week, and I've never felt better or more proud of myself in my life. And in that year, I have not woken up even one time with a cock drawn on my face.

[shai]

what a pussy i sounded like last night.

i felt sick as fuck all night and a worse headache this morning.

 

next time ill just pass.

i talk to my dr all the time about the pain, but never the pill problem. he is good by trying to fix other factors that could be contributing to the headache. he knows i dont wanna be so dependent on meds. even suboxone. we'll figure it out. no alcohol here, except an occasional drink-and by occasional I mean on an average once a month. it gives me headache, so i dont like adding to the problem

 

Have you looked into complementary medicine? When I was dealing with some similar issues (C7 spinal injury) I got a lot out of acupuncture/acupressure and osteopathy. I won't deny that the doctor did keep me hopped up on plenty of goofballs but there's no doubt the treatments helped.

[ShortFuse]

Anybody ever messed with Kudzu pills. They havent fully figured out exactly what in Kudzu helps but in a lot of studies it does. It counteracts alcohol or affects the metabolism or increases blood circulation....I dunno. You can buy the pills or if you live in the southeast the damn plant is everywhere. Personally Ive sauteed the young leaves and they have the texture of kale.

 

Ive just always wanted to see if it has an effect. I drink regularly and to the point of increased intoxication. Yet I only drink at night after work, never any other time, I cant. I know it doesnt matter when or where you drink, but the amount and regularity of it.

[shai]

Why would I want to take something that counteracts the effects of alcohol? If I'm drinking it's usually because I want to feel something different. (Okay, there are other reasons, but we don't really need to go into all that again.) If they worked after the fact and sobered you up or helped hangovers, then that's another thing, but other than water I don't know anything that helps either condition.

[PITOFZOMBIES]

"That's when you get some of the most frequent and realistic nightmares you've ever experienced. Intense feelings of dread and anxiety thump through your sleeping mind...

 

Remember that your brain is not only more active but also in panic mode. It has become so used to having alcohol that it started thinking it was one of your normal bodily fluids. Imagine if you suddenly gave up food, taking all of your nutrients via an IV instead. Even if you were getting everything you needed, for a while your empty stomach would still send out the pain alarm that says, "INSERT FOOD OR YOU WILL DIE, DUMBASS!" The inside of a detoxing alcoholic's head is freaking out in the same manner.

 

I'm one year sober as of last week, and I've never felt better or more proud of myself in my life. And in that year, I have not woken up even one time with a cock drawn on my face."

 

These parts rang true. Thanks for posting that, SayWORD... while it was a bit crude and childish at times, he hit some nails on their heads for sure.

[KINGSHITWTF?]

drunk by noon again. go me

[Sleazeside Heights]

^^^^

 

give that a listen, all of yous.

 

 

There's something uniquely special about this thread, and it's amazing how it even exists..especially on this site. It provides a kind of support that differs from any program, or advice from friends, soething we just can't get anywhere else. A truly anonymous forum, and outlet where people can come to vent and work through their struggles. so awesome.

Because of other outside factors, the past 6 months have been the worst I can ever remember. Went through a lot of hard times, bullshit, and it has given me an anxiety I have never experienced before. It's the worst. Battling insomnia, and having constant nightmares. Many of those come from dwelling on things I fucked up on in the past. Obsessive thoughts are able to take over, and drinking offers a change, a way to cover up feelings and sweep them under the rug, temporarily, to feel good at least for a little while. But the negatives hold no bars. I really fucked up this week, pretty badly. Made a mess of myself at the bar, really embarrassing. Somehow getting home on bike. Realized I lost something, went all the way back to try and find it, couldn't and went all the way back, stopped to pee in between cars, etc. Lucky to not be arrested. I've been smoking an insane amount of cigarettes, my intake has grown tenfold, and my chest is feeling the effect. Somehow I have to get out of this bad state of depression. My punchlines have been extra disturbing, on some Kids.DAC shit(R.I.P.), only he was a poet, mine are just embarrassing. I think of all the relationships I have screwed up, whether drinking has played a part of it or not, It's something I have to work on. I've been trying to take some simple steps to be positive. Started volunteering, a healthy sober activity. Gonna start walkin some shelter pups too i think. I don't know what will happen, but I want to be happy again. I was there almost a year ago, and want to be there again. I know drinking will not get me there. I know I will drink again, and it's a scary slippery slope, but I'm only gonna do what I can right now. I've been sober for 3 days now, and was able to do some work, organize and clean, read and such. Gonna take some time to work on a project I've been pushing off. I'll take it.

[KINGSHITWTF?]

so lets make a toast to my liver and my kidneys, pour out a little henney - here's to gout in your twenties.

[PITOFZOMBIES]

I know I will drink again, and it's a scary slippery slope...

 

That mentality is a huge part of your problem. I know you're a smart dude, and i don't even have to tell you. You've already defeated yourself. The goal is not something so unreachable that you need to feel incapable of achieving it... it's right there.

 

I had an instance of feeling defeated today while skateboarding. I was filming some line and it was giving me grief. Took a few slams and all that... guilt for dragging the filmer back and forth. It was that black hole you get in when you're TOO focused. Anyway, i started feeling in my head like i was wasting my time, like i'd done last time i tried to film something. But i caught myself and was like "Nah, fuck that, i got this..." and handled it a few tries later. Don't really know where i was going with that, but i guess i just know how it feels to lose motivation in a given situation.

Try to think of other goals that you've reached and how you got yourself to them. Use those techniques to get sober. If you feel like you don't know what's at the end, at sobriety, i'll say that it's fuckin' worth it. A lot of my failed attempts were impacted by my not being sure it was what i wanted. Finally i realized that i not only wanted it, but i needed it. The rest was fairly simple.

[shai]

It helps if you don't think of it as something you're going to succeed or fail at. What's most important is realizing that something is amiss and then deciding how you want to address it. If your initial reaction is "I HAVE to stop"and you stake everything on that then yeah, it's a big deal. But if if you break it up into bite size chunks (hence the "One day at a time" thing) it makes it seem a little more manageable.

 

I'm kind of on the week to week plan nowadays. I just get through the week, review how things went, then go on to the next week. I'm not recommending this for everyone but it seems to work for me.

[sayWORD?]

^^^^

 

give that a listen, all of yous.

 

 

There's something uniquely special about this thread, and it's amazing how it even exists..especially on this site. It provides a kind of support that differs from any program, or advice from friends, soething we just can't get anywhere else. A truly anonymous forum, and outlet where people can come to vent and work through their struggles. so awesome.

Because of other outside factors, the past 6 months have been the worst I can ever remember. Went through a lot of hard times, bullshit, and it has given me an anxiety I have never experienced before. It's the worst. Battling insomnia, and having constant nightmares. Many of those come from dwelling on things I fucked up on in the past. Obsessive thoughts are able to take over, and drinking offers a change, a way to cover up feelings and sweep them under the rug, temporarily, to feel good at least for a little while. But the negatives hold no bars. I really fucked up this week, pretty badly. Made a mess of myself at the bar, really embarrassing. Somehow getting home on bike. Realized I lost something, went all the way back to try and find it, couldn't and went all the way back, stopped to pee in between cars, etc. Lucky to not be arrested. I've been smoking an insane amount of cigarettes, my intake has grown tenfold, and my chest is feeling the effect. Somehow I have to get out of this bad state of depression. My punchlines have been extra disturbing, on some Kids.DAC shit(R.I.P.), only he was a poet, mine are just embarrassing. I think of all the relationships I have screwed up, whether drinking has played a part of it or not, It's something I have to work on. I've been trying to take some simple steps to be positive. Started volunteering, a healthy sober activity. Gonna start walkin some shelter pups too i think. I don't know what will happen, but I want to be happy again. I was there almost a year ago, and want to be there again. I know drinking will not get me there. I know I will drink again, and it's a scary slippery slope, but I'm only gonna do what I can right now. I've been sober for 3 days now, and was able to do some work, organize and clean, read and such. Gonna take some time to work on a project I've been pushing off. I'll take it.

 

can relate to almost everything you said here man.

especially this: "I think of all the relationships I have screwed up, whether drinking has played a part of it or not, It's something I have to work on" and the insomnia and cigarette increase youre going through.

im not drunk today, which surprises me because theres beer at my house. i just wasnt feeling it.

cant sleep, but not drunk. i guess thats good.

 

on an interesting note, i referred one of my friends to this thread, and hes been lurking and reading ever since.

he doesnt know shit about 12oz or graffiti, and is definitely not a forum goer, but i felt that this place is definitely a must read for anyone whos battling addiction.

he called me today and was pretty stoked i shared this with him.

 

wish everyone the best.

stay up.

[yardwanderer]

I had an instance of feeling defeated today while skateboarding. I was filming some line and it was giving me grief. Took a few slams and all that... guilt for dragging the filmer back and forth. It was that black hole you get in when you're TOO focused. Anyway, i started feeling in my head like i was wasting my time, like i'd done last time i tried to film something. But i caught myself and was like "Nah, fuck that, i got this..." and handled it a few tries later. Don't really know where i was going with that, but i guess i just know how it feels to lose motivation in a given situation.

Try to think of other goals that you've reached and how you got yourself to them. Use those techniques to get sober. If you feel like you don't know what's at the end, at sobriety, i'll say that it's fuckin' worth it. A lot of my failed attempts were impacted by my not being sure it was what i wanted. Finally i realized that i not only wanted it, but i needed it. The rest was fairly simple.

 

Bump.

[LUGR]

Sleezeside, look into getting a quality e-cig rig if you need to cut the tobacco out. Casek had a thread that I got my info from floating around (but it's outdated). So research the latest stuff bc they are constantly improving etc.

 

I gave myself 6 months with that and bought different levels of nicotine juice to slowly ween myself off and it was much better than cold turkey for me. Just have to redefine your habit and not look at your hand when you are hitting it for the first week or two and then your body will start to feel much better from no tobacco use while still getting the fulfillment of the nicotine. Once I got down to the zero nicotine I slowly forgot about it as the craving was gone. Good luck with it and let me know if you have any questions.

[sayWORD?]

its the night of day 4/morning of day 5 for me without booze.

 

the insomnia fucking sucks. i can see now that ive been passing out rather than falling asleep for years now. i hit the gym hard today, hoping that would knock me out. my body is tired as fuck, my mind not so much. restless as fuck. i know its early in my "recovery" or "vacation" from drinking, or whatever the fuck it is. i dont even really know at this point, but i dont particularily feel better in the mornings at all. i guess i sorta ignorantly figured that if i just quit drinking id automatically feel great, loving life, waking up in the mornings without a hangover to the sound of birds chirping every day. hasnt been the case so far. felt like fucking shit this morning. its early on i guess.

 

my appetite seems to fluctuate a lot. yesterday i ate a disgusting amount of food which is kinda abnormal for me. today i feel nauseous as fuck and havent had much of an appetite. my anxiety is worse today than it has been in the last 3 days. im trying to keep busy. ive been smoking a lot of weed not even purposely, it just seems to be happening. im not sure this is good. im bored now.

 

i dont know if this is just some weird ocd shit that only i experience, but i feel a lot more at ease with quitting drinking if theres alcohol in my house. theres been beer in my fridge since i decided 4 days ago that i was taking a break for a while. initially i was thinking this might be detrimental, but its seeming to have a bit of an unexpected effect. im panicking less, knowing that if i need to say fuck it and have a drink, its there. its oddly soothing, and i can talk myself down from my cravings (or at least i have been able to for this short while). kinda playing with fire, but whatever. had it not been there, i would most certainly have gone to the liquor store and bought some shit and i doubt i woulda lasted even this short time.

 

ive got this sort of bottled up rage simmering just below the surface, and im not entirely sure what the deal is with that. maybe its withdrawls, maybe its some sort of disgust at previously intoxicated self that i only get when im sober. i sorta feel this anger like im pissed off at how bad i let my life get when ive been drinking all these years. i guess this is how it feels to not have alcohol as a crutch when youre down on yourself or not completely happy with the way things have been going. im my own worst critic. whatever the case, ive been avoiding the females in my life for the past couple days because the tendency to snap and tell them to get the fuck away from me is high on the richter scale. im not even particularly stoked chilling with good sober homies yet. i hope this changes, and soon.

 

in the past two weeks i have been sober for almost 10 days.

previously, before this little break its been an everyday thing for over 7 years.

 

baby steps.

 

ima try to sleep and hope i feel better tomorrow (today).

 

peace.

[fat ralphy]

man it is great to see this thread popping off....especially with all the new names in here.

 

still sober.

 

Funny reading sleazesides post because in the last 2 weeks I tried to ween myself off zoloft. Anti anxiety/depressant etc.

 

I realized that over all despite the side effects it has worked for me and I need to roll with that if it helps.

 

I still make some stupid fucking decisions now and then but when it comes down to it I need to give credit for the positive and keep the ball rolling.

 

Stay up brothers.....that puke life low life scumbag shit aint a way to live. Guess what we have all done that before and there is nothing anyone can say about dope/drink/getting over etc that we don't already know or haven't already done.....

 

How many motherfuckers can say that they got peoples true respect, that their word is good and that they have things they have earned and worked for.

 

That's what keeps me in this shit, I can hold my fucking head up and get respect for my action.

 

I got a job offer today, its an upgrade and I can say 100% if I was still drinking and using I wouldn't be where I am.

 

Keep up the work fellas.....glad this place is helping people get through some tough times.

[redeyedanimal]

Night one again since I fell off the wagon hard about 8 months ago. It's 3:45am here, and i'm wide awake and nervous feeling for no reason.

 

Hit the bowl a couple times to chill out my stomach, which increased my heart rate, which made me want a drink even worse to calm down.

 

This is a shitty shitty feeling. I forgot how bad this feeling is. In all honesty, been going about a pint of liquor and up to 18 beers a day, from before lunch until the end of the day, all day everyday.

 

Took a sip of wine a minute ago and it tasted terrible, spit it out with the quickness. If this shit keeps up like this, any suggestions for gettin some shuteye? Like, will tylenol pm or some shit work, I need sleep or I suck at my job.

[sayWORD?]

^^yea man weeds not working for me either.

blazed earlier today, but decided to not even bother right now because i know ill get the heart rate bullshit increase and be tempted to have a beer too.

 

still sober, still cant sleep.

 

exercise alone isnt helping me.

i dont wanna talk to my doctor and get prescribed with some bullshit sleep aid that will land me in another shitty fucking addiction. my ex girl was hooked on that shit, and i saw first hand how uncool that was.

 

suggestions/help from any of you longer term sober cats?

does the insomnia get better over time?

 

seems like this issue is affecting alot of us, on this last page alone.

 

other than that, i had a pretty positive day today.

[theprotester]

Push through the sleepless nights, they will calm down. Eat well and eat early, somewhere around 630PM is best. Say no to pills, you're dead right, it'll just be the next thing you 'need'.

 

I have good nights, bad nights. For me, diet is the main thing I can control to help with sleep patterns.

[morton]

Alcohol is a depressant, meaning that it depresses your central nervous system. I think of it as sort of a weight on your heart, then when the alcohol wears off the weight is lifted and your central nervous system will then be agitated as if once the weight is lifted your heart beats faster. This is what the shake is, your body coming back into calibration.

 

As an aside for you younger folks that think the shakes are something dramatic like out of Leaving Los Vegas or something, they are not. The next time you go on a bender take a look at if you hold your hand perfectly still the next morning, you can not feel the shaking but if you look you can see it.

 

The physical withdrawal can take up to maybe 3 days but that is just my guess and not like a scientific value.

 

And of course following physical withdrawal there is a mental, emotional and spiritual (for lack of a better word) withdrawal. Personally I think of this in fairly similar terms to the physical but instead of your hands shaking in a constant but almost imperceptible amount it is your whole perception that is shaking. For me coming out of using and into being clean is usually like my whole world is shaking, I become filled with guilt, regret, fear and embarrassment not only for the time I spent using but also for my perception of the future and questions about failure at the root of my person and hazards and hardships I will face.

 

Anxiety, insomnia and depression can all occur, luckily for me as I spend more and more time clean they fade and my mindset comes back into calibration (more or less) much as my body does, it just takes longer.

 

In regards to taking something for insomnia, I would personally recommend against it. In regards to anxiety over job performance being impaired by lack of sleep I would posit that a few rough days from being under rested pale in comparison with a career impaired by active addiction.

 

Self diagnosis of one disorder or another is often just the addict in us looking for justification to use.

 

All these things are more simple than talking about em, one foot in front of the other is the path.

[redeyedanimal]

The central nervous system thing...

 

I didn't drink last night, IMO. I did take a nasty sip of wine, but didn't swallow. /nh

Today my body feels like it used to when I did blow. Fucking WIRED, Hyper, distracted, sweaty, shaking a bit, unfocused.

 

Fuck this shit, I remember how bad this sucked last time, and when homies said it got worse each time i was like "hell nah, this is as bad as it gets"..... WRONG. This is worse. The next time is always harder.

 

*Note to self - stay on the wagon, no matter how bumpy the road. This too will pass.

[redeyedanimal]

asked for assistance today and took .5mg alprazolam to help with the anxiety and physical symptoms, I was shaking too terribly to be playing with really really sharp knives. It helped, I'm going to bed soon without drinking again.

Day two, I didn't drink today so hopefully the withdrawals will ease up a bit in teh next few days.

 

"Courage to change the things that I can"

[fat ralphy]

 

 

Martti Tenhu, chief medical examiner in Helsinki, Finland, illustrates the differences between a normal human heart and one enlarged by alcoholism and high blood pressure. Covered in scar tissue, the enlarged organ is nearly twice the normal size. Such alcoholic cardiomyopathy weakens the heart so that it is unable to pump blood adequately.

 

 

 

Regarding the increased heart rate/palpitations after smoking weed, that is the reason i finally quit. After 12 years of daily use and 3 years without a drink I quit because it just wasn't enjoyable anymore and the heart rate thing started giving me increase anxiety.

[PITOFZOMBIES]

1 year 6 months today. I haven't been keeping track since i hit the year mark, but i happened to notice the date. Anyway, hope you guys are hanging in there.

The sleep issues go away. One of the worst parts of the initial detox is the feeling that it is never going to end. Each day that you wake up expecting to feel decent and you don't is pretty soul-crushing and demotivating. I know that feeling, and it sucks. Don't let it dictate how far you take it. It took me a bit over a week to get to where i felt pretty normal. I have a fast metabolism too, so i imagine that may have sped up the time it took me to get through the rut. I fucking swear that shit goes away, and it will happen sooner than you think.

Another huge part of recovery for me was hearing people (who has some time under their belts) nail down the shit i was going through. Knowing that it was a normal part of getting better was enough to keep me going. It was comforting and reassuring knowing that people before me had done it. I haven't really been doing my part of sharing the shit i went through, lately, so i'll try to do more of it.

[sayWORD?]

logged in just to prop you POZ but i must spread rep.

 

thanks for the insight.