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DICK MEASUREMENT METHODUS.

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by CoreyHaimIsMyRoleModel, Dec 24, 2001.

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  1. CoreyHaimIsMyRoleModel

    CoreyHaimIsMyRoleModel New Jack

    Joined: Jun 26, 2001 Messages: 38 Likes Received: 0
    ok. you know youve done it before. youve measured your dick. you know the exact size in its rock hard form as well as in its pitiful placid state. Now.... were gonna seperate the white boy 1 hair on your schlong from the nigger-dick rhyno posse. (pardon my language) ok.....i figured out from a girl this past week that what she does is make her guy take his hard throbbing juicy manmeat hahaha and wrap a dollar bill around it lenghtwise. This is the "girth" test also known as the "gerth" or "garth brooks" test. If your silly salami allows the bill to reach further than the word THE on the back hand side top you are a small girthed city slicker. Now...if it takes effort to reach the "T" on the word "the" or even doesnt even reach it, you have what i refer to as the Nigger dick. (dont be so easily offended...for on the other hand of the phallic pinwheel is the chink dick.) ok ok ok.... now here is another method.... Using your hand grasp your shaft (erect) and wrap your fingers around it. SQUEEZE. if you can even touch the tip of your middle finger, you should practice kama sutra or indulge in a dildo cause chances are you arent gonna please the women with your wimpy willy.
    This was all the chubby girth testing....now onto length...

    First...shave your balls. Dont ask, just do. then....stimulate yourself and place a ruler at the base of your shaft where your balls are planted. FOR all you wierdo-un-circumsized "watersock" dick-fellas, you cannot cheat and stretch your foreskin over the ruler. That shit is a no-no in this test. Now....average size is between 4.5 and 6 inches. haha and for those of you who fall into this catagory, shit...i dunno...become monks or something. Between 6.5- 8 is good and anything over 8 is RAD (but might scare the petite girlies.) Soooo now that you realize you got a huge dick what do you do now? I dunno. fuck. what are your methods for measuring your dicks?
     
  2. CoreyHaimIsMyRoleModel

    CoreyHaimIsMyRoleModel New Jack

    Joined: Jun 26, 2001 Messages: 38 Likes Received: 0
    ...And.....if yall wanna compare compartments feel free to start droppin lies. Hahaa
     
  3. mopius

    mopius Guest

    slap it around so it swells up and it measures bigger
     
  4. Pistol

    Pistol Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Jul 12, 2001 Messages: 19,358 Likes Received: 298
    Fuck all that wrapping a dollar around my man. I can tell by how a girl reacts to seeing my "Hidden Pistol" for the first time.
     
  5. bug

    bug Guest

    every girl i get with tells me its the biggest they've had. that's all i need to know. even if they're lying i don't care. i don't need to wrap DIRTY money around it.
     
  6. Dr. Dazzle

    Dr. Dazzle Veteran Member

    Joined: Nov 19, 2001 Messages: 8,147 Likes Received: 3
    hmmmmm.....quite the intesting little topic. What do Canadians do? Do we measure it against a dollar coin? If so I'm a huge fucking man. But that 2 dollar coin.....damn. Got me beat. Gues it's back to my twist-and-pull penal exercises.
     
  7. Iris

    Iris Banned

    Joined: Sep 2, 2001 Messages: 888 Likes Received: 1
    this is kinda nasty but uncircumcized is way better.
     
  8. jarryd

    jarryd Guest

    hahahaa

    ^ haha go team skins!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hahahahaahahah
     
  9. suburbian bum

    suburbian bum 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: Jan 30, 2001 Messages: 14,673 Likes Received: 3
  10. Boring Bastard

    Boring Bastard Elite Member

    Joined: Feb 1, 2001 Messages: 3,784 Likes Received: 1
    "Nigger dick" over here.......... Dollar tested and approved!!!!!!!!!:king:
     
  11. Mr.LonelyHeart

    Mr.LonelyHeart Member

    Joined: Aug 31, 2001 Messages: 994 Likes Received: 0
    boring, remind me not to accept any money from you ever.....;)
     
  12. -Rage-

    -Rage- 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: Apr 12, 2001 Messages: 10,006 Likes Received: 27
    Now I really know why people always tell you not to put money in your mouth. You're retarded.
     
  13. Dirty_habiT

    Dirty_habiT Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Mar 8, 2001 Messages: 18,057 Likes Received: 44
    I'm currently in the process of going through each dollar bill in my wallet and wrapping it around my dick....I'm going to the corner store pretty soon, to "circulate" my special bank notes, exclusively from the Dirty Habit mint in Texas....some day you may touch my nut sweat, or smell it if you do coke with dollars. Enjoy!
     
  14. Harpo Marx

    Harpo Marx Senior Member

    Joined: Feb 7, 2001 Messages: 1,525 Likes Received: 3
    you're a bastard dude. now i gotta handle my money with latex gloves.
     
  15. Harpo Marx

    Harpo Marx Senior Member

    Joined: Feb 7, 2001 Messages: 1,525 Likes Received: 3
    you're a bastard dude. now i gotta handle my money with latex gloves.
     
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