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Travel Log - Hunting, Hitchhiking, Painting & Getting Dirty: Traveling Across America


Keepitrail

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  • 3 weeks later...

Thanks all.... good luck tatanka. Just got back to the Estados Unidos, about time for an update of the last two months. Guatemala, Belize, and Southern Mexico on a (used, rotting, thrift-store) shoestring budget.

 

Uploading flicks now. Only thing I can say right now is that it feels slightly guilty but really satisfying to actually flush used toilet paper instead of balling it up in a pile in a tiny trash bin!

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I'm not really sure where we left off, but I'll do the month or so before I left briefly with some flicks I think I missed.

 

December: Catch freight from Oakland to St. Louis. Go to jail. Hitch-hike/bus to Nashville.

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January: Get ran down by polizei for spraying trains. User(UH) and I are hobgoblinned in an alley for several hours, decide to test fate and emerge. (Semi) arrested. Get away with it due to we stashed the evidence and we can just talk smooth like that. Next go back and day it's gone (some good paint and beer and nice bag). Turn off brain. Attempt to get stuff back from police by pretending to be someone else who said his stuff was missing from a truck nearby scene of crime. Fail miserably (really bad). Narrowly avoid felony. Turn brain back on. Leave town to deliver car to friend in Wyoming.

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February: Arrive in Memphis to open arms from NoseyMayne(42), who takes me to the (not)famous (asitshouldbe) Elvis House in a small town about 40 miles away. The visit is 5 dollars, and if you go three times you get a lifetime membership card. Anyone travelling to Memphis is now required to go see this man, have him tell you the story of his people. Also if you bring him beer he will be really happy. The previous week his house was pink.

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"They didn't leave here till seven in the morning." Who didn't leave? "Ah! Cunts, whores, sluts, cock-suckers, fart-sniffers, asshole-lickers, professional shit eaters, I ain't tellin you nothin but a little blond thing eatin shit, real shit, off a cardboard box. You wanna see some real guff come back here at five in the morning I'll tear your pants off, have a girl suck your cock while she wears your pants and shits in them, you fucking asshole." If I can figure out how to upload audio files from itunes I've got some clips of him.

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Arrive in Wyoming, to sit tight for a couple weeks. Girl is driving up from Cali to pick me up and drive back to SF. Stay in a camper, temperature often below zero. I forgot I'd left some of that beer I'd dumpstered in there last year and it had since exploded. Yeasty frozen man-cave.

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Put down new member in crew (Panda!), get a call from a detective the next day. Wanted me to come in "just to talk" about my "recent work going up around town". Nahhhhh, thanks. Next day, "warrants for your arrest if you don't come in" Nahhhhh, thanks. Next day, "You have a warrant in entire state of WY". Next day, pulled over for open container in Nat'l Forest. "Sorry, what's your name and social again? We can't find you in the system." Uhhhh "Sir, the social you gave has a different name. Wanna try again?" Uhhhh "Look kid, this is Federal land, not State. Whatever you got going on, unless it's Federal, I ain't gonna know about it." Errrrrr.... "Here's a ticket for Knowingly Providing False Information to a Federal Officer, oh and one for Open Container, because you're an asshole." Thaaaanks....

 

 

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Make some dough (halfdone) (yeah, it's crossfit graff...)

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Spend the night on a mountain pass that was snowed in, sleeping in the car. Breakfast at the ski resort hotel down the road - if you catch them right after they close, and pretend you're a guest, it's just clean-up crew, and they don't give a fuck. They let us in and gave us a shit ton of food.

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say goodbye to el barco

 

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Catch the last airporter out of Marin City, Flight at two am, Duty Free a bottle of Walker for the flight, cut open the bag and get downright sloppy, board the big silver dildo for Mexico and arrive in Guatemala City seven hours later.

 

The first thing you see getting off the plane is a shiny row of cubicles containing oily salesmen caked up in makeup, each one trying desperately to get your attention, waving arms frantically and pointing to their little window. "Best rate exchange! Here! English! American, here, friend!" And you suddenly remember you forgot to check the actual exchange rates before you left... but there's nowhere to see reliable information. "Best rate here! Don't leave airport, very expensive after here, last chance!" Which is more a premonition of an adage that would repeat itself all across our travels, and for that sake, our lives - the harder someone tries to sell you something, the less you probably need it.

 

Something about the sweat escaping through minute cracks in their strange make up made us nervous about the whole ordeal, but we trusted them. Hey - "No commission! Best rate!" We exchanged $300US at a rate of 5.46Q per dollar. After leaving the airport, we immediately saw signs for money exchange banks. 8.75Q per dollar. There is a reason why they kept the first kiosk in the security area of the airport.

 

Rode a chicken bus (old american BlueBird schoolbus) into town central, which, aside from how obscenely hot it was, turned out rather interesting. Lots of machine guns, teenagers in army trucks with M16's, cops with shotguns on every corner, and a shit ton of pharmacies. Unfortunately US pressure has put a stop to the freewheeling easy access of certain pharmaceutical amenities to which our intrepid traveler has a taste for.

 

We copped a decent hotel at $5 per person, and kicked it on the town. For real, though, the nightlife was the sketchiest shit I've ever been around. Not friendly towards Americans. Or anyone white, for that matter. We only went a few blocks from the hotel, but we did get some impressive corn soup drink from a guy with a bucket.

 

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Walking around this old colonial town.. a lot of the original architecture remains from the Spaniards coming in and slaving everyone for gold.

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We just missed Easter, where they had stations of the cross on mine carts

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Some of the best artwork I've seen in a looong time. Not sure what it all says or if its original.

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This guy is the "Farmacia Ahorra" (Pharmacy Now!) character, which you will see breakdancing on the street outside pharmacies.

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Still working on this one. Guy spilled his corn.

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agradesco infinitely to the Virgin of Guadalupe to the cleaning lady who asia hospital cintes time came that the dr. rape me that I was taking advantage of barred and could not defend

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Got tired of colonial life, took a shitty chicken bus up to Flores, where nearby Tikal ruins reside. It's a small island next to a decent size city. One road in, machine guns everywhere on the road. Island is maybe 2 mile circumference. Hotel rooms are $8 a night, with breakfast. Overlooking the river where I attempted to swim to another island but misjudged distance, and turned out to be just some reeds and swamp, tried to swim back and almost drowned, someone on a power canoe drove by and picked me up out the water and i held on alll the way back to the dock.

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The hotel was half-run by a taxi-driver/floorsweeper/drugdealer/laundryman/tour guide who pulled us off the street to show us a room. His mouth looked like a gopher hole, and he was uncomfortably persistant. "juss fr yoo" he kept saying...

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dope!

-lol @ the squirrel driving

-to upload audio from the elvishouseguy use vocaroo.com

-that beast piece is bangin (is that a kettle bell between the b and e?)

-any stories from the whorehouse?

-congrats on getting that article written about you (they used 'ad infinitum' in the article..props)

-you can find better exchange rates via the black market although its shady

-be careful! almost drowning is not the business!

all in all great update!...cant wait for more!!

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  • 1 month later...

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stuff was pretty easy to get down there. Everything starts out 8x what they will accept and you work your way down. In Guatemala, everything we got was cut heavily and the weed was ugly, 8th grader mexico looking, but it was surprisingly decent. Food was incredible, all the time. We pretty much only ate street food. Apparently the street meat is restaurant scraps, but I couldn't tell. Or care. I drank the tap water and ate off the street. Straight drinkin hot corn milk from old ladies on the street all day, son.

 

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A bus cost $10 for a non stop to Tikal, northern Guatemala. They had mentioned it was much less safe, but we were skimping on anything we could. 9 or 10 hours later we got to Flores, spent the night and bussed up to Tikal, one of the oldest and biggest Mayan ruins in Central America. Very, very cool. I double majored in Anthropology so actually seeing all of the shit I wrote about/memorized was incredible.

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We packed a fat lunch and I had a terrific spell of melted soft serve diarrhea for the first two hours we were there, running into the jungle off the trail every corner. We linked up with a tour group, blended in the back, and listened as our Mayan friend explained a certain pyramid.

 

"This temple is dedicated to the human body. The temple has nine levels, representing the four heavenly levels, the earthen plane, and the four underworlds, or Xi-Balba (Shee-balbah). "Can anyone tell me why the the Mayans would have associated their bodies with the number nine?"

*crickets chirping*

"No one?"

A German girl stood up and said, "There's nine chakras!"

"Ah, no, sorry, also there are only seven"

I raised my hand from the back and said, "Holes!"

"Yes, very good! Can you point them out for us?"

I walked to the front and pointed to my eyes, "two", nose, "four," ears, "six", mouth, "seven", asshole, "eight." But then I was stumped. A smile crept onto the guides face as he slowly extended his hand to point at my crotch. "not much to remember, eh senor?"

Also, the nine months of gestation.

 

 

This is what it sounds like all the time, at max volume, from 3:45 AM to 11:00 PM when you're in the jungle.

http://www.tikalpark.com/soundsbirds02.html

 

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