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Guest WebsterUno

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Guest WebsterUno

1. Dont double hit my joint

2.If you drink the last drop of Kool-Aid,

please make another fucking pitcher.

3.If youre going to make some Top Ramen,

please wash your fucking dishes.

4.If you going to piss, please AIM!

5.If your bringin girls to my house,

bring some for the rest of us, this aint a motel

6.Dont mack on my honey, at MY party, in MY house

7.Dont beat your hoe in MY crib

6.Damn, Im high

8.Dont backwash in my fif of yac

9.Dont lip my joint, (you know what the fuck Im talking about)

10.Dont tag on my shit (cereal boxes, lotion, colonge bottles)

…yeah YOU!


list em.

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Guest WebsterUno



Yeah bitch, call first. I might be busy. ;)

Dont you hate it when they piss on

the toilet paper, that some fool dropped

on the floor. Or how about when they

drop food, or ashes and say,

"Oh" then just walk away. Man, clean that shit up.

I live alone, but shit.

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Guest fr8lover

eating my leftover microwaveable foodstuffs!?

puking on my couch?!

farting and not taking responsibility?!

not pitching in on liquor for the night?!


fuck that.

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Guest WebsterUno

Same shit…

I keep a box of them Foster Farms Corn Dogs

in my freezer for those hungry muthafuckas.

Just dont touch my Remi, uh-uh, HANDS OFF!

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man... (everything that's been said PLUS)

*tag my dumpsters and nothing else w/o asking

*we pass to the left

*vomit goes outside

*cigarrettes go outside too

*do not open closed doors

*please don't ask to borrow shit

*you do not decide the exception to the rule in my house.

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Guest got tha feva

When I have on my PJ's, teeths is brushed, face is washed and I'm konking out and not listening to a word you're saying, it means you were supposed to leave 30 minutes ago. Take a hint, don't make someone feel bad and kick you out.

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motherfuckers that call and the first thing out of their mouth is "got any weed?" and if the reply is no they just call someone else.


not taking off your shoes before you come in the house.


stealing shit out of my fridge while i'm takin a piss.


leavin shit stains in the toilet and not using the toilet brush


thinking that its okay to use my toothbrush because you forgot yours.


using 'my' phone to call 'your' hoes so that i have to get calls at 4 in the morning because my numbers on their caller id.


asking to eat my food when you never give me food when i'm at your crib.


asking to borrow things when you've never returned what i lent you already


ask if you can come over and show up 10 heads deep and i have to be the ass to tell everyone fuck no.


people that bring over shit beer and then ask if they can trade me for a guinness.

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~People complaining because all i have in the fridge is natty light...fuck you trick, drink it.

~People bringing over loud girls, esp loud drunken girls...

~People getting drunk and crashing in your bed; esp when i have my girl around, this equals automatic broomsticking to the dome piece.

~People who come over and talk shit to friends or housemates...

~Never come over and ask for anything of value to borrow...

~Computers are off limits, and if you do use it with permission, shut the fucker off when your done..

~Spray the lsycol when your done shittin!

and last but not least...

IF YOU WATCH A FUCKING MOVIE< REWIND THAT SHIT or TURN OFF THE DVD PLAYER!!..im usually too high or drunk to want to sit there for 10 min while that shit rewinds..or try and figure out why the television isnt working..

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damn i need to post these on my fridge. my friends would probably never come back...once i woke up to my t.v. with a meanstreak tag on it "as a joke" and heard " dont worry you can scrape it off" as he drank my last beer.

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It's been awhile since I have had a need for rules such as these, but let's see if I can remember any.


I'f I've told you once I think your hoes a bitch, don't bring her around again unless she needs her ass beat.


Don't come to my house if the cops are still chasing you.


If you spill it, clean it up.


Do not break open glo sticks in my living room in the middle of the night forcing me to vacuum in the dark at 3 am.


If you tell me you are coming over, call me if your plans change.


If you expect to eat my food, watch my tv, play my video games, etc. ... you had better bring some type of intoxicant.


If you break it you buy it.

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Guest imported_El Mamerro

Do not sit on my fucking table cause you'll fucking break it.


Just cause I get free video rentals (live above a video store) doesn't mean you can ask me to get 12 movies for you.


Don't kiss my fucking mirror unless you're hot and leave a name and number.


My special Don Q rum is exclusive to my good buddies and hittable women. You sir, get to drink the shitty vodka.


Yes, you are allowed to smke in here. No, you are not allowed to smush it out on my futon.


Do not have sex in my bed. It has happened before and the people involved are ruined for life.


I cannot turn the music any louder cause the speakers are cheap and I already blew them once.


Please don't linger outside on the street, pee on neighbor's porches, or throw bottles at passing cars. That gets the cops over to my place, and gets you instant asshole branding and a possible assault with a blunt object.


Just because I've said "hi" to you before, does not mean you get a free cup.


Don't complain if I'm all drunk and feel like cracking myself up watching midget porn. If you find midget porn offensive, please kindly get the fuck out of my house and go watch Rugrats. Beer,


El Mamerro

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Guest WebsterUno



Originally posted by bobobi11

Don't come to my house if the cops are still chasing you.


I str8 feel you on that one.

That shit happend to me TWICE!

Once my friend didnt even knock,

he just casually walked in and peeped out

of the venishen blinds (sp).

My grandma was in the livingroom too.

Shes askes in spanish, "Who the fuck are YOU?!?"

The other time it was my cousin. He had

just ganked some beer from the corner.

And he comes running to MY house.

Thats why this thread is needed, to let fools know,

Im watching every lil step you take.

All the above are valid, and some have happend,

so I feel you guys. ;)

Have any of you started a sentence like this:

"I dont want to be a dick, but…"

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Do not steal my last cigarette. I'm saving it for later.


Do not eat any of my food.


Do not hold the bong for 10 minutes while you wait to stop coughing.


Do not fall asleep on my couch and bitch that somebody woke you up in the morning when they were getting ready for work.


Do not spill something and say, "Hey, I just spilled. Your gonna need a towel." CLEAN UP YOUR OWN MESS!


If I've told you once, I've told you once, and once was all that you needed.

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Hell yeah Webster. My house was always the chill spot since we had kids, a nicer apartment, FOOD.....so always had the homies over everyday and night.


My friends brother (who was called BONER by all including his family) did a beer run at the corner market and ran str8 up into my house. He then hid under my kids bed. So the cops knock on the door, and I have all these people and two 12 packs of Henry's (1 Pale, 1 Red) sitting on the floor next to my frig. Obviously the same brands just stolen from 7-11. So the 50 checks my house, doesn't find dude and leaves, making vague threats that they will be back. The next morning I go to 7-11 to get some bs (went to this store at least 1x a day) and get told that they have banned me and my husband due to the beer situation. Looking back I should have yanked that ass out of hiding and told the cops to take him away. Stupid sob.

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Oh, one more thing ...


DO NOT, for any reason whatsoever, start flipping through my notebooks/blackbooks, just because they are sitting on the table.

I don't know if I'm the only one who is like this, but I hate it when people look through my books without permission. I wouldn't go into your house and start reading your journal.

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i love this thread...



don't adjust the volume of my music


don't answer my phone


don't smoke anything of mine


don't invite people over without asking me


don't give out my phone number or my address


don't take a dump and not flush (!!)


don't keep banging on my window when i'm not answering



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dog fuck go home and use the phone dont stay on my shit all day and not answer the other line


dude fuken go home already shit how me and my girl supposed to fuck with you here


wrap your fuken controlls up when your done shit i like my house clean


dude you never have money and you fuken always drink for free here you bitch


i dont mind if you come over just dont bring that bitch you kno my girl dont like her


dude im sleeping come back later

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Guest WebsterUno



14.Stop using my $5.00 watercolor markers to practice

your handstyles, rack yo own BEEEYYYYAAATCH!

15.No, you cant borrow my underwear!

16.If I roll it, I get first hit! Any questions?

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1. if you come over after painting at 3 am and wake my ass up...YOU NEED FADE ON THE BLUNT


2. Dont tag my hallways, elevator, etc..


3. dont come over to my house just to take a shit cause you like my bathroom.


4. dont chase my cat i found under a car in the parking lot.


5. dont ask my fly lady japanese neighbors to show you some coochie.


6. its ok to be polite and civil to my girl...otherwise...shell beat your ass


but other than that my friends are pretty polite...


sins ive been guilty of at other peoples houses..........


painting a white truck parked in front of neighbors house...

trying to initiate a orgy with all the females at the party in the bassment, actually i was just guilty by association, that was this other cat...i was just there

girlfriend almost beating other houseguests ass

drinking way more than anybody else at the party the night before the morning after you wake up still at their at their house.." you fools act like you never seen anybody drink at 7am!?"

callling homeys at odd hours after painting when drunk just to ask them if i woke them up...

and crushing homeys neigborhoods so they gotta look at my shit at least 15 times a day...



now im kinna scared of karma....

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