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TEAM ALPO


Mauler5150

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Hey there buddies.

I don't drink so much anymore.

A year ago I woulda been all about Team Alco.

But today....sucks.

So I'm here. With a beer. Don't get used to it.

Me...a few minutes ago. After a shitty day, lookin rough.

IMG_0323.jpg

ps. jager bombs are teh ultimate

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i remember drinking at a friends place and he was living across the road from karakatta cemetery

we got drunk

and ran around a cemetery

then some chick wanted me to fuck her on some old persons grave

i wasnt up for that shit

Mate from highschool actually fucked a chick on a grave.

Her nickname was 'ghosty' as she had the most white skin you had ever seen. I didn't know she was a slut til he did this.

 

Anyway, the funny part of the story is that months down the track she ended up getting in a fight with my ex's best friend. She got made piss, and was actually that scared of the girl beating her even more she pissed her pants in front of about 30 people watching the fight. After that her new nickname was 'Whizzer' and my mate copped alot of shit about being the guy that fucked Whizzer.

 

Anyway, last time I heard of her, she was stripping at the Doll House making 2 to 3K a week.

 

Whizzer came a long way since those days.

 

And I am drunk as I write this. Smashed back as many beers as I could since I got home. Going to have beer for dinner tonight, it has been a while.

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Hmm, another couple down. Been too damn long.

 

But anyway, I'll try to hook up some pics of the jaunt I'll be going on in a couple of weeks for my friends 21st. He has hired 5 holiday homes on Rotto for us to stay in, and is making a garbage bin sized punch and has a carton of beer provided for each male attending. And since his olds own a couple of wineries I am sure a few bottles of plonk will be getting taken care of too for the women (and me as I like a change every now and then). Plus it is also BYO on top of that and I have a carton in reserve for this occassion. Apparently the women are meant to outnumber the guys too, and since his mrs is an exchange student it is looking good!!

I can't fucken wait for it to come to be honest.

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I hate disappoint everyone, but i think they stopped making 'real absinthe' in the middle ages

 

 

the middle ages? like the 1800s? cause that aint the middle ages. and i think they just stopped making it after opiates fell out of fashion. ts just illegal to make it now, seeing as how fast it makes your brain deteriorate. although i think most people who sell "absinthe" nowadays sell a diluted version or a fake one.

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Provide crap for them, good stuff for you gone.

 

 

Ok heres how the drunk fucking on grave story should go by yours truly "the magnum." A bit long but with full detail.

So after being asked by my sophmore and freshman friends to procure them something to drink I headed down to the 7-11 where I racked 8 40's of that 211. I get a page from them cause hey it's fuckin high school and I was still rockin a pager. I called back and after doing all the work these punk bitches needed me to get them out of class too. So I put my fake office attendant badge on and pulled them all out of class after lunch. We headed down to the Plunge which is a pool, in a park, about a hundred feet from a cemetery.

 

There we were a couple of bright eyed virile teens with beer and weed (provided from a girl who's mom owned a canibus club) and the rest of the day was our oyster. So a couple of 40's down and my current 14 year old girlfriend (no/pervo I was 15) at the time wants to go get frisky. We start walking the trails and then we stop and duck around some bushes. Domeage ensued and there's no greater feeling than wilderness, drunk dick, deep-throating. Only problem was back then I was a highly volatile drunk and for some reason during mid-dome we start arguing. She slaps me and as shes walking away I hurl a rock with the power of Thor and connect right on her back . More arguing arose so I told her she can walk her happy ass back to school by herself and on the way try not to suck anymore dick. She did.

 

Ok so now I get back to all of my other friends and they're still smoking and drinking weed. My girlfriends best friend is still there. I'm a natural flirt and she's digging it. Magnum started layin it down thick. She tells me she's always had a crush on me and I should be with her instead of her friend. I'm like yeah maybe but she insists on showing me why. We start walking towards the cemetery. We dip through a hole in the fence and she takes me to the most comfortable looking grave with the date of death being 1892. The old grave kinda made me feel weird but she took care of that as she took off her belt and dropped her pants. She got on her knees right there on the grave and more dome was initiated. Although it was a chilly day the sun started to shine and I could start feeling the heat of things to come.

 

She was bobbin like there was no tomorrow. I lay her down and kick off my pants. I start jukin and jivin like Ali in his hay day. Round 1 ends after 2 min and she's left on the grave TKO'ed squirmin and squirtin. I start getting dressed cause before I'm a lover I'm a good friend and I don't wanna leave my friends hangin for too long. Me and the girl start to head back down and we see the security from our school talking to all of our friends in the distance. I think to myself that bitch snitched us out. The security looks back up and it seems as he catches a glimpse of me. I start running back up the cemetery path I tell the girl to keep going and she does but I on the other hand duck through and end up hiding out. Now long story short....Stole, Drank,smoked, dome, dome then fuck on cemetery, chased, hiding out and I ended up passing out from the wait on another grave. I wake up at night time and catch a bus home. Next day at school everyone got suspended except for me cause they had no actual proof since I never went back to end up getting caught. No one snitched about me providing all the booze and they only saw the girls blonde hair and they didn't see me. Magnum= clean get awayoner

 

This story although made up has been told to make you guys think what crazy shit you've done while really fucked up. Everyone has a crazy story from the past. So raise a glass of your finest whiskey or ale, remember the good ole days, and drink up. Cheers to you Team Alco.

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I don't think I'm gunna drink and drive anymore. Like I said last night, I got pulled over and have NO IDEA how I passed the field sobriety test. Not only am I on probation to start, but I've only had my license for a few weeks and my Dad hooked it up putting me on his insurance

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