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ENO ELPMIS

So im about to drop a deuce.....

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Guest R@ndomH3ro

I guess they are not your ass hairs.

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thats why i never shit outside the crib if i can help it.

 

if i must, i take a shitload of TP and lightly wet it with water and wash the seat.

 

flush that so i have a fresh bowl, and put at least 2 layers of protective TP on the seat.

 

i also put a handful in the toilet before i do the deed, so as i dont get splashback on my ass-back.

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thats fucking nasty!

 

 

ever go to puke in a public john and smell someone's last ditch?

 

 

my aunt is bulimic and asked me that at Xmas dinner............seriously

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the splashback protection is key!

 

As I posted on another thread:

 

Another trick I'm fond of using is the pendulum technique. Through sheer concentration and years of meditation I have learned to anticipate the exact cutoff moment of each turd. I estimate it in advance, and begin oscillating my ass back and forth a few seconds before. If the timing is perfect, the turd drops at the very apex of a backswing, which means it'll travel parabolically to the back of the toilet and away from my ass. By the time it hits the water, my ass will be at the apex of the frontswing, and the splash completely misses my anus. You feel like a fucking engineer when you pull it off. Sometimes, you'll time it just wrong, and the exact opposite happens: the turd travels forward, and the water splashes all over your nuts, which is just terribly unfortunate for everyone involved. Don't be discouraged though, a few tries and you'll master it in no time.

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i sometimes leave my seat tp cover for the next person

 

oh and the most important part is covering up where the seat doesnt come to a close at the front. thats where mad pee germs be.

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