earl broclo ESQ Posted August 30, 2007 Share Posted August 30, 2007 Dear Doc! THA (in san diego), i'm sorry i'm a fucking bum. i told you i'd send out a packet of my wesley willis stickers, and i've been sleeping on that shit for way too long. right now i'm in the middle of moving, but i promise you i'll get that shit out soon. i've got them printed, but i have to hand cut them with scissors before i can send them out. i'll throw in a promo dvd for the skate company i was doing designs for, that doesn't exist anymore. i'll throw in some personalized work as well. i'm a fucking douchebag for neglecting this exchange, and appreciate you getting me your shit so quick. i just keep procrastinating. keep doing what you're doing, your shit on flickr is tight. take it easy, Earl dear weed, you've been a good friend to me for so many years now, but i gotta let yo' ass go. seriously, you fuck me up. i can't use you to hide from reality any more. i need to get my shit straight, and smoking you ain't fucking helping out. even in moderation, you're still holding my ass back from a better life. so bitch, get out, take your fucking clothes, i don't care where you go, but you can't stay here any longer. leave your key in the basket, and don't call, earl dear girlfriend, i've been missing you this past month, but i'll be down there soon enough. you're coming to visit this weekend, and i can't wait to see you. i'm so fucking horny that the crack of dawn better watch out (t.waits). so you know what's going down friday night, that's right, some good ole fashion boot knocking. you're going to be walking funny saturday morning, but i'll buy you breakfast before i drop you off at your sisters and go to work. if you want, you don't even have to say hello and give me a hug when you get here, just jump on my face and work me like a bucking bronco. we are going to have some ruthless fucking sex all weekend, so be prepared. love, yo' man dear chef boyardee, you're a piece of shit, a real piece of shit. i hate you, you fat fucking pediophile moustache having, italian wanna be, goomba. love, earl Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VAJ Posted August 30, 2007 Share Posted August 30, 2007 Scum1, Secret Texas recipe. /nocrack ---VAJ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
earl broclo ESQ Posted August 30, 2007 Share Posted August 30, 2007 dear coffee, thanks for waking me up this morning! -roadpiggy i'm with you on this one roadpig. except i would have added "..and thanks for giving me the shits." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Some1 Posted August 30, 2007 Share Posted August 30, 2007 Scum1, Secret Texas recipe. /nocrack ---VAJ Dear Vaj, Multicolored drinks freak me out... <3 Juan... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
^ . ^ Posted August 30, 2007 Share Posted August 30, 2007 dear some1, thanks for the crappy advice. It did nothing. hate your face forever, ^ . ^ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Some1 Posted August 30, 2007 Share Posted August 30, 2007 Dear 12oz, I guess I have worn out my welcome. Sucks for you guys. <3 Juan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VAJ Posted August 30, 2007 Share Posted August 30, 2007 Dear Scummy, I think you wore it out 10,000 posts ago. with love, ---VAJ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrishCarBombs Posted August 30, 2007 Share Posted August 30, 2007 dear food, cook faster love ICB Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quaranta-Due Posted August 30, 2007 Share Posted August 30, 2007 Dear clothes, Hurry up and be done washing, so I can wear you. Although I do look sexy in just a towel. Hearts! Me Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest R@ndomH3ro Posted August 30, 2007 Share Posted August 30, 2007 Dear Eastbay, Is there anything you say that doesn't have the slightest homo erotic undertones? - Sneak "no homo" Creep Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quaranta-Due Posted August 30, 2007 Share Posted August 30, 2007 Dear Sneaky, Is there anything that YOU say that doesn't make me want to fuck you? /no homo - East of San Francisco Powerhouse. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CALIgula Posted August 30, 2007 Share Posted August 30, 2007 dear air conditioning, i love when youre on, but you cost too much to run. love, caligula "dying from heat exhaustion" oner Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
earl broclo ESQ Posted August 30, 2007 Share Posted August 30, 2007 dear caligula, get an extension cord, and connect your A/C to your neighbor's house, via the external outlet. then put your A/C on high over night, and close all your windows and doors. cool down one room, and use that as refuge from the heat. this also makes it easy to trap all the cool air in a shorter amount of time. make sure you set your alarm early enough to sneak the plug back into your house, before said neighbor wakes up and goes to work. if said neighbor confronts you, jab him in the throat. good luck, Earl Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MAR Posted August 30, 2007 Share Posted August 30, 2007 dear caligula, you can chill at my house. ~AC Oner Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roadpig Posted August 30, 2007 Share Posted August 30, 2007 dear earl, that's great advice! my homie house was right behind a row of stores. one store had cable so my homie spilced their cable wire to run one down to his house. i guess some things in life really are free! -road p.i. double G Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roadpig Posted August 30, 2007 Share Posted August 30, 2007 dear grocery store, i bought some lunch meat from you last night. the package said the meat was good until sept 21. i made myself a sandwich for lunch today and took four bites. right when i was about to take the 5th bite i notice some green stuff. i open the meat and find some green furry islands on it. i am now expecting a shit attack to hit me any minute. thanks, roadpig p.s. it's fuckin HOT outside!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quaranta-Due Posted August 30, 2007 Share Posted August 30, 2007 Dear pancetta, portabello, and pepperjack sandwich I just made, You are very yummy. -EB Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CALIgula Posted August 31, 2007 Share Posted August 31, 2007 dear caligula, get an extension cord, and connect your A/C to your neighbor's house, via the external outlet. then put your A/C on high over night, and close all your windows and doors. cool down one room, and use that as refuge from the heat. this also makes it easy to trap all the cool air in a shorter amount of time. make sure you set your alarm early enough to sneak the plug back into your house, before said neighbor wakes up and goes to work. if said neighbor confronts you, jab him in the throat. good luck, Earl good idea.....except for two things....my neighbor wakes up for work at 4am...so im not gonna be able to wake up before him....and second...he beat his ex wife (i dont know what relevance that has...but i felt i needed to mention it.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CALIgula Posted August 31, 2007 Share Posted August 31, 2007 dear caligula, you can chill at my house. ~AC Oner Dear MAR, good lookin out my nigga! cali"heatexaustedmofo"gula Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hoblow Posted August 31, 2007 Share Posted August 31, 2007 Dear Pat Welcome back. I hope you enjoyed kickboxing camp From D. Dear coffee You are burnt or something. What the fuck? From Parklife. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
earl broclo ESQ Posted August 31, 2007 Share Posted August 31, 2007 dear caligula, beat your neighbor's head with a brick (he deserves it), and put him in a deep coma or grave. then testify as a witness against his wife. "well, i could hear him beating her for a while now, but i never thought she'd go this far." while he's in a coma/dead, and she's in lock up awaiting trial, you'll have full access to their outlet(s). in fact, you could probably pop their AC out of their window, install it in one of your windows, and turn your place into a winter wonderland. hell, get a few power strips, and couple more extension cords, power all your electronics on them, and watch your electric bill drop like a hooker in a dive bar. your's truely, Earl Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fat ralphy Posted August 31, 2007 Share Posted August 31, 2007 dear hash, please dont make me smoke you...i just cant do it tonight! love, fat ralphy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest R@ndomH3ro Posted August 31, 2007 Share Posted August 31, 2007 Dear bar, I am so glad I went to you. Instead of seeing flake girl. I love your alcoholic daze you have me in. Sneak "one beer from being drunk" Creep Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
^ . ^ Posted August 31, 2007 Share Posted August 31, 2007 dear anyone whos listening, if you have some xanax for me to eat at work tomorrow, please pass them my way. /no drug talk love always, the faceless cat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest R@ndomH3ro Posted August 31, 2007 Share Posted August 31, 2007 Dear Catface, show me your bewbs, thanks Sneak Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
^ . ^ Posted August 31, 2007 Share Posted August 31, 2007 dear sneak, talk to me with some respect, or i'll punch you in ur teeth. love always, catface Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest R@ndomH3ro Posted August 31, 2007 Share Posted August 31, 2007 Dear Catface, I said please...that is enough respects. ps- I love cheese. but cant eat to much Sneak "Lactose Intolerant" Creep Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xlando Posted August 31, 2007 Share Posted August 31, 2007 dear skin, quit your sweating -XL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tango 24 Posted August 31, 2007 Share Posted August 31, 2007 dear cat please stop sleeping on my laptop it is covered on your hair and i had to vacuum it yours in snuggles, tango Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Torquemada Posted August 31, 2007 Share Posted August 31, 2007 Dear MAR, good lookin out my nigga! cali"heatexaustedmofo"gula dear caligula, don't fall for it, his AC will mysteriously breakdown for no reason and he will trick you into taking your clothes off to keep cool.....in his bed. concerned citizen against teh ghey aktibitiez -Torque Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.