grim540 Posted October 24, 2006 Share Posted October 24, 2006 I just got mine in the mail, some of the best stuff I ever read. I''ll be brief; Hemingway once wrote a story in just six words ("For sale: baby shoes, never worn.") and is said to have called it his best work. In November's issue of WIRED magazine dozens of sci-fi, horror, and fantasy writers from the realms of books, TV, movies, and games were asked to take a shot themselves. Many put their words to paper. Sure Arthur C. Clarke refused to trim his (God said 'Cancel Program GENESIS.' The universe ceased to exist.") but the rest are consice masterpieces. Failed SAT. Lost scholarship. Invented rocket. - William Shatner Lie detector eyeglasses perfected: Civilization Collapses. - Richard Powere I'm Dead. I've missed you. Kiss...? - Neil Gaimen Kirby had never eaten toes before. - Kevin Smith ( I was thinking... " Kirby had eaten better toes before." ....odd - grim540) Computer, did we bring batteries? Computer? - Eileen Gunn Gown removed carelessly. Head Less so. - Joss Whedon Machine. Unexpectedly, I'd invented a Time - Alan Moore Wasted Day. Wasted Life. Dessert Please. - Steven Meretzky "Cellar?" "Gate to, uh... hell, actually." - Ronald D. Moore Longed for Him. Got him. Shit. - Margaret Atwood From torched skyscrapers. Men grew wings. - Gregory Maguire With bloody hands, I say good-bye. - Frank Miller Epitaph: Foolish humans, never escaped Eartth. - Vernor Vinge I'm your future child. Don't Cry. - Stephen Baxter We went solar; sun went nova. - Ken MacLeod The baby's blood type? Human, mostly. - Orson Scott Card TIME MACHINE REACHES FUTURE!!! ...nobody there... - Harry Harrison "I couldn't believe she'd shoot me." - Howard Chaykin Broken Heart, 45, WLTM disabled man. - Mark Millar Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grim540 Posted October 25, 2006 Author Share Posted October 25, 2006 They just updated the website to the november addition found more. New genes demand expression -- third eye. - Greg Bear K.I.A. Baghdad, Aged 18 - Closed Casket - Richard K. Morgan WORLD'S END. Sic transit gloria Monday. - Gregory Benford Epitaph: He shouldn't have fed it. - Brian Herbert Batman Sues Batsignal: Demands Trademark Royalties. - Cory Doctorow Heaven falls. Details at eleven. - Robert Jordan Bush told the truth. Hell froze. - William Gibson whorl. Help! I'm caught in a time - Darren Aronofsky and Ari Handel Nevertheless, he tried a third time. - James P. Blaylock God to Earth: "Cry more, noobs!" - Marc Laidlaw Help! Trapped in a text adventure! - Marc Laidlaw Thought I was right. I wasn't. - Graeme Gibson Lost, then found. Too bad. - Graeme Gibson Three to Iraq. One came back. - Graeme Gibson Rapture postponed. Ark demanded! Which one? - David Brin Dinosaurs return. Want their oil back. - David Brin Bang postponed. Not Big enough. Reboot. - David Brin Temporal recursion. I'm dad and mom? - David Brin Democracy postponed. Whence franchise? Ask Diebold... - David Brin Cyborg seeks egg donor, object ___. - David Brin Deadline postponed. Five words enough...? - David Brin Metrosexuals notwithstanding, quiche still lacks something. - David Brin Brevity's virtue? Wired saves adspace. Subscribe! - David Brin Death postponed. Metastasized cells got organized. - David Brin Microsoft gave us Word. Fiat lux? - David Brin Mind of its own. Damn lawnmower. - David Brin Singularity postponed. Datum missing. Query Godoogle? - David Brin Osama's time machine: President Gore concerned. - Charles Stross Sum of all fears: AND patented. - Charles Stross Mozilla devastates Redmond, Google's nuke implicated. - Charles Stross Will this do (lazy writer asked)? - Ken MacLeod Cryonics: Disney thawed. Mickey gnawed. Omigawd. - Eileen Gunn WIRED stimulates the planet: Utopia blossoms! - Paul Di Filippo The Axis in WWII: haiku! Gesundheit. - Howard Waldrop Salinger story: three koans in fountain. - Howard Waldrop In the beginning was the word. - Gregory Maguire Weeping, Bush misheard Cheney's deathbed advice. - Gregory Maguire Corpse parts missing. Doctor buys yacht. - Margaret Atwood Starlet sex scandal. Giant squid involved. - Margaret Atwood Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shameless self promotion Posted October 25, 2006 Share Posted October 25, 2006 Chimmy. Chimmy Changa. I ate it mang. -SSP. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abracadabra Posted October 25, 2006 Share Posted October 25, 2006 there's some good ones in there Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
makeithappennn Posted October 25, 2006 Share Posted October 25, 2006 highschool dropout.pot head.curtains. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AllTheWrongWords Posted October 25, 2006 Share Posted October 25, 2006 there's some good ones in there Best one so far! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GEEB Posted October 25, 2006 Share Posted October 25, 2006 Smash or trash...SMASH. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MAR Posted October 25, 2006 Share Posted October 25, 2006 Diced tomatos, stewed potatos, potted the roast. Dinner's served. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shaolinmasta Posted October 25, 2006 Share Posted October 25, 2006 Bitch Bent Over It's Hammer Time Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Theo Huxtable. Posted October 25, 2006 Share Posted October 25, 2006 Nigga stole my bike. - Little Mac Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mackfatsoe Posted October 25, 2006 Share Posted October 25, 2006 tattoo of your cat? nigga, die. I'm watching miama ink. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
famecrazy Posted October 25, 2006 Share Posted October 25, 2006 Sugar Tits -Mel Gibson Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skullnbones Posted October 25, 2006 Share Posted October 25, 2006 Drank, woke up... on the lawn. S&B Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snakes on a message board Posted October 25, 2006 Share Posted October 25, 2006 Personally, I prefer Hemingway's unabridged works. I understand concise, but I like it better when the language is used in more beautiful ways. Dig? This shit is like Cubism. Fad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
!@#$% Posted October 25, 2006 Share Posted October 25, 2006 they fell in love. she got sick. meh. i like the miller one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El Mamerro Posted October 25, 2006 Share Posted October 25, 2006 Most of these sound like headlines, not stories. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deterrent Posted October 25, 2006 Share Posted October 25, 2006 It's the story behind the words. some of those are really good! I'm going try one and keep it as my eternal signature Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shitting Posted October 26, 2006 Share Posted October 26, 2006 i think i like hemingways the most Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
viperface Posted October 26, 2006 Share Posted October 26, 2006 me too. I read a short novel by Hemingway earlier and it was pretty much in the same spirit, left alot unanswered. They were fishing or something. I bet everyone has read it... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El Mamerro Posted October 26, 2006 Share Posted October 26, 2006 It's the story behind the words. some of those are really good! Yeah, I know, and the stories are nice, but it just seems like most took the particular newspaper headline style to get them across, which is kind of like the easiest way to do it. I would've expected a little more variety and effort from some of those names. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El Mamerro Posted October 26, 2006 Share Posted October 26, 2006 I'm gonna go ahead and venture a guess on what Matthew Reilly's effort would be, which in fact would crush the vast majority on that list: "His head exploded like a melon." If you have no idea about the degree of awesome Matthew Reilly is at, pleased get learned. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
viperface Posted October 26, 2006 Share Posted October 26, 2006 Reminds me of this typeface collection book that used old headlines of real news instead of that "lazy fox jumps..." stuff. Most of them had me laughing out loud. true fuckups from the editor.... some are directly from here but aren't so funny without the bold condensed headline look Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MOE-LESTER Posted October 26, 2006 Share Posted October 26, 2006 10 shots. shit pants. 10 shots more. interesting night Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shitting Posted October 26, 2006 Share Posted October 26, 2006 ^ that might not suck if you took ofF ' interesting night' Looking at them again, the political ones are annoying I also like ' with bloody hands, i saw goodbye' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MOE-LESTER Posted October 27, 2006 Share Posted October 27, 2006 yea i shoulda left it off but i cant edit it now "fought niggas, looking for my eyeball" "fat black bitch, will she spit in my chicken?" "allah akbar, BOOM" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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