Awesome comments that you make

[LICKERISH]

my younger brother was just chilling at the bus stop talking to this guy that played a bouncer in Good Will Hunting. he establishes it is indeed the guy that played the bouncer in the scene with the "how do you like them apples" discussion, and they're chit chatting away. so this lady who's crossing the street in front of them gets hit by a car. later on he's retelling his story saying he had to sign as a witness and that he was just talking to the bouncer from Good Will Hunting, which was where i interupted to ask, "wait a second, i thought it was the woman who did the bouncing?"

[makeithappennn]

owned.

[LICKERISH]

oh yeah, my buddy and i were coming up with some zingers we decided to use on a good friend who is also an upstanding member of the 12OZ community. we were all getting our drink on, when my buddy turns to my other buddy and says, Joey (fake name), "you look like you lost some weight," ... pauses... "oh, nevermind, you found it." we thought it was pretty good and the timing was perfect. we left just enough time for Joey to be like, aw thanks man, really, i didnt notice, shit it was almost priceless.

[Fondles]

Yesterday, my roommate and I were walking out of the front door on the way to the car. Before you actually reach the cars, you pass a line of 'a little over waist high' bushes. As we're approaching the bushes, he says to me in a serious tone and manner, "You know where I'm at right now...", before he could finish I pushed him into the bushes (read: INTO) and I said, "Yeah, in the bushes." The timing was so perfect he completely forgot whatever insightful announcement he had for me. We laughed our asses off about that for a good 45 seconds. Then we got some beer and hookers.

[26SidedCube]

honestly tho... quality athe-witticisms are so in the moment you never remember them.. or you just feel bad talking about them after the fact because the 'wittiest' shit is always kinda corney to boot.

 

 

 

______When I was probably 17 I was on my way back from a skatepark with a bunch of the fam and realize that my I need to put some grub in the foodbox. So, being the suave-adapting motherfucker that I am, I decide to pull into McDonalds (normally I won't eat that garbage). As you can guess, my boys and I are in full-on dumb-the-fuck-out mode: blazing trees and saying that brand of stupid shit you start to say when you've got a car full of high motherfuckers that just got done with 6 hours of the old 'destroy the ankles'; not just casual stoner comments and butt-head laughs, I'm talking that loud, rapidfire, wildin' out shit.

______Anyway, amidst the clamour, we get up to the window and I go to hand the guy the money. Right as I'm doing it I knock the Gatoraide I had wedged between my seat onto the floor and, just because it has to happen, it rolls under the gas pedal. I look down all bewildered that I have to deal with this, say something retarded in response to one of my friend's badgering me, look up at the guy trying to hand me my bag of crapsnacks (who's already puzzled by the bedlam place in the car and still waiting for my money) and go "One minute my dude, I dropped a fucking Gatoraide under my gas pedal." I frantically grab the bottle from under the pedal, ramble off a triumphant 'I got that shit!' and look up at dude to grab my food. He looks at me all bewildered (by this point people are starting to throw shit at each other, CDs are hitting the windows people are smacking one-another upside the head) and goes... "Hey, cool beans!" Then, in a moment of absolute retort-genius, I look at this guy all wild-eyed, my hair sticking up like a twelve-year derelict, and in this dust-smoking DMX voice go "Cool beans? Nah dog. Fierce Berry, motherfucker!" My arm flies out of the window on some Mr. Fantastic and snags the food. Right as I'm pulling my arm back into the car and simultaneously rolling up the window I give the guy the used car salesman 'point and wink' and crush the throttle of the little shitdick '93 Probe off into the night.

 

______Free cheeseburgers.

 

 

 

I know that shit ain't the 'coolest' or most shocking, but it was, without question, one of those 45 second scenes where everything was going so fast-paced and smoothly that it couldn't have been scripted any better. For about 3 minutes after that, I felt like god.

[heavyLox]

that story is hilarious. maybe you just suck' date=' ever considered that?[/quote']

 

 

i often find this to be the case, people miss the awesomenss that are my posts, and it must be because they suck. im funny dam it, my younger cousin laughs at all my jokes.

[mr.yuck]

me and a mate in work sat the other day shoutin in work "do ya know how i know your gay... then he say "how" then i'd say "cause i caught you lookin at my dick in the toilets".. then he'd say "do ya know how i know your gay".. id say "how?" then he'd say " cause you didnt stop me!" this went on for bout 4hrs.. easily amused!!

 

hahaha. my boss tried this at work the other day. He said something like "You know how i know youre gay? Your dick tastes like shit!" Then I replied "You know how i know youre gay? You sucked my dick!"

 

haha ooooohhhh.

[count chocula]

"quitting cold turkey is not as delicious as it sounds."

 

 

so golden

tha shit blings*

[ego maniac]

hmmm

I jus like makin random

people I dont know feel uncomfortable...

ie: my coworkers....

its jus so satisfying.

[rattleytins]

my teacher was takin the piss out of a boy in my class n he goes o yer did u know that they took the word gullible out of the dictionary?

 

i go who told you that sir

[shameless self promotion]

^No clue what you just said.

[Weapon X]

when I was in Ireland this kid asked me if we had black people where I came from... because they certainly didn't have them in Westport. The kid must have been at least 15 and he'd never met a black person.

 

 

I think I remember LENS saying something about how his parents had to teach him about black people because he had never seen one until he was college age or some shit. hahahaa, America is fucked up right!

[Gat Bush]

this black girl who works with me got some bigass titties.

[dELiSs]

i make awesome face expressions. comments are for the birds.

[Obvious]

[Harvey Wallbanger]

You really had to be there.

[metronome]

my teacher was takin the piss out of a boy in my class n he goes o yer did u know that they took the word gullible out of the dictionary?

 

i go who told you that sir

 

 

derrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr