Jump to content
Search In
  • More options...
Find results that contain...
Find results in...
Dick Quickwood

Awesome comments that you make

Recommended Posts

today at work someone called from compton. i was like, hey i just saw that movie don't be a menace, have you seen that, she was all yeah, i was like, is that how it really is there?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

i was at work on friday and some guy from new zealand goes:

 

"uhm... excuse me... but, have you noticed the amount of "strange" people in the area?"

 

and i kinda look outside and see nothing but the local hood niggas trying to get their hustle on, either posting on the corner or on the sidewalk selling stolen clothes and shit

 

 

i responded with something that reassured him along the lines of "oh theyre not much to concern yourself with, just ignore them and it shouldnt be much of an issue"

 

what i wanted to say was:

 

 

"the 'strange' people?

 

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... you mean the NIGGERS?"

 

haha

im sure i would have enjoyed his reaction

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

hot girl at work: hey, you gonna bring anything for the potluck? me: uh yeah maybe some "special sauce" or something her:eww

 

damn she has a nice body on her

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

when I was in Ireland this kid asked me if we had black people where I came from... because they certainly didn't have them in Westport. The kid must have been at least 15 and he'd never met a black person.

 

Another time, and a different subject... I was with my friend Jason from Cali when he got bitten by an ant for the first time in his life at age 15... he was just sitting in an ant bed so I pointed it out to him and he didn't seem to care, until about 5 seconds later...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

this wasn't my awesome comment, but it's gold...

in my line of work I get to talk to americans all the time (I'm canadian).

I had this one bitch on the phone. the call center she works at is in tennessee.

so basically what I was doing was placing an order with her company.

so I'm trying to explain to her how our shipping process works (it's kind of complicated... the jist of it is our shit gets sent to us from minnesota, no matter where its ordered from.)

anyways, to get through all the bullshit, I was trying to leave her our phone # so she could call back an order verification.

she says... "oh no we can't do that."

I say well why not?

and she says well don't we have to dial some sort of international code # ?

and then I inform her (while trying not to laugh) that, no, she can call directly to anywhere in canada, or north america, by simply dialing a 1 and then the area code.

and then she spits out this gem... "you mean I can call directly to canada?!"

 

 

GOLD.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

it's gold, because that kind of shit happens to me on a daily basis.

 

seriously.

who doesn't know that its 1-area code- phone number?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

who would start a thread because of THIS story:

 

today at work someone called from compton. i was like' date=' hey i just saw that movie don't be a menace, have you seen that, she was all yeah, i was like, is that how it really is there?[/quote']

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I was discussing some Breast Cancer research walk my girlfriend was going on last year, and

in passing, I asked her, "You know what would be a pretty good fundraiser for that?"

She says, "No, what?"

 

 

"A wet t-shirt contest."

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I was picking up some groceries from the local grocery store and this cute white chick walking by asked me if i had a cigarette, befor i said "sorry i dont smoke" my mind screamed out "ID KOBE BRYANT THAT BITCH." then i said "sorry i dont smoke" my half black impulses almost got the best of me that day.

 

It was outside Trader Joe's if anybody wanted to know.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So I was at a donut shop with this girl from work. Its 8am and the mom pop place is packed. This asian guy comes out from the back and asks what we would like. We both order and the guy starts to get our donuts togeather and etc. The girl looks at me and says "I chink he grabbed the wrong donut for me."

Everyone in place got quiet and I just stood there staring at her like what the fuck...? It was also then that I realized we were the only white people there and the owners, whom I know personally gave me the scumbag look. She turned and immmediately asked him about her order, we paid and I told her I wanted to eat in the car. As soon as we got outside I asked her what the deal was. She totally denied saying the word chink and kept playing it off...!!

 

Anyways, it was a fucked up situation and now Im probably not welcome at my favorite breakfast place.

Fuck that bitch for her awesomely stupid comment.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Im starting to sound country again making everything i say sound hillarious. Things like "G'd 'n." Haha. Hillbillies dont use vowels when they talk.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Register for a 12ozProphet forum account or sign in to comment

You need to be a forum member in order to comment. Forum accounts are separate from shop accounts.

Create an account

Register to become a 12ozProphet forum member.

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×