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SACKBEAT HANDJOB

DETO

By DETO
in Channel Zero

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DETO

DETO

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1. The last man who made eye contact with Mr. T was Ray Charles.

 

2. Every time a church bell rings, Mr. T pities a fool!

 

3. When Mr. T folds his arms, the U.S. Terror Alert Level is raised to gold.

 

4. Mr. T hates playing 'Rock Paper Scissors' because he doesn't believe anything could beat rock. He always chooses rock, and when someone throws paper, he says,"I win." If someone is foolish enough to dispute this, he takes his clenched fist and punches them in the face, then says, "I thought your paper would protect you."

 

5. 5 out of 5 doctors recommend not pissing off Mr. T.

 

6. Children are afraid of the dark. Dark is afraid of Mr. T.

 

7. Mr T. and Chuck Norris decided to spar, they travelled to the only safe place in the Universe, the beginning of time. They bowed to each other and Chuck launched in with a roundhouse kick. Mr. T blocked it, and the resulting pressure wave is commonly called the Big Bang.

 

8. Mr. T's Mohawk is not held up by hair gel, his hair is just scared of him and is trying to get as far away as possible.

 

9. Human females have two X chromosomes. Males have an X and a Y. Mr. T has three Ys and a T. He's more man than you'll ever be.

 

10. Mr. T does not actually pity fools. He is just being sarcastic. No one has noticed because it is difficult to pick up such subtleties while being bludgeoned.

 

11. Mr. T invented fools. Realizing the magnitude of his folly, he then created Pity.

 

12. When Mr. T was circumsized his foreskin was not disposed of. Instead it was raised as a normal child, and it grew to love the game of basketball. Today we know Mr. T's foreskin as Shaquille O'Neal.

 

13. Mr. T once captured Bigfoot, but released him after he shaved the beast and realized that it was just Chuck Norris walking around naked in the woods.

 

14. Mr. T is the reason the sky is blue. Don't ask stupid questions.

 

15. 23. That's the number of people Mr. T has pitied in the time it has taken you to read this sentence.

 

16. Ever have a sharp pain in your chest that you can't explain? That was Mr. T, and it was a warning.

 

17. Mr. T always drives on the right side of the road, no matter where he is in the world.

 

18. Mr. T was once involved in a head-on car crash, and he was the only survivor. Mr. T was walking at the time.

 

19. On the A-team, Face , Haniabal, and Murdoch were all masters of disguise. Mr T didn't have to wear a disguise. The bad guys didn't recognize him out of fear.

 

20. Mr. T coined the phrase, "I see dead people," after the waiting staff at Denny's forgot his birthday.

 

21. Mr. T is not black. It's just that the sun is to afraid to shine on him.

 

22. When Mr. T received his star on Hollywood's Walk of Fame, he made his hand prints after the cement was dry.

 

23. Mr. T once ate four 72 oz. steaks in 12 minutes. He spent the first 5 minutes laughing at the fact it takes Chuck Norris fifteen minutes to eat three.

 

24. Mr. T puts the laughter in manslaughter.

 

25. Pass it on sucka or Mr. T will pity YOU FOOL!

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Guest MR BOJANGLES

Guest MR BOJANGLES

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Posted

Tattoo update:

Getting the rest of the color put in tonight. Should have pics soon.

 

Handsome update:

Put a cursive team handsome on my piece last night

 

Beer update:

half drunk, hope to be whole drunk soon.

 

My arm feels like this :burn:

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