The Nonsense thread

[ImChristeezy]

i think i posted that video yesterday or some shit.

[ephect]

oi my bad..

here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x7KK7bXJV2c&feature=related

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[ephect]

http://www.youtube.com/user/kanofski#p/f/33/fGoalkfeYKg

[*PROTOCOL*]

I'm drunk as shit and you know who pisses me off? These people:

 

 

 

 

Fuck off. I'm sick of you guys being all up in my face.........You guys are making me like this guy, hes not nearly as annoying:

 

[asthma al]

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

[asthma al]

[Drue_Down]

That's right, Steven Seagal.

[Poesia [ ] T]

[MedicineCabinet]

those witless ninja-related begging signs got played the fuck out

 

id rather give to ones that have a sign that just says "DRUGS"

[BLU]

[iloveboxcars]

superbowl sunday

 

so.

i get off work and get a call from my room mate telling me to meet her at a bar to watch the

game, i go home change and grab my bicycle and ride the 15 or so blocks to the bar.

 

i talk to her at the bar for a bit. im getting free gentleman jack and cokes, i dont remember

why, all i know is they were strong and i lost count around 6. it is amazing how smooth

gentleman jacks is. it tastes like fucking caramel.

 

anyway - i thought i had made it clear to my room mate that us fucking was just that, fucking

and thats it. apparently i did not make this clear enough. i started hitting on this tiny little

thing of a woman. i mean, she was like 5'6 but i could wrap my arms around her about 20

times if my arms were spaghetti. after i have no idea how long my room mate leaves out of

nowhere. angry as hell. i get text messages later saying she thought it was something it

wasnt etc etc.

 

i win 200 dollars when the game ends. still getting free drinks at this point but not really sure

where im at drink wise, all i know is motor skills are pretty close to nil. still hitting on the tiny

girl. she tells me im cute several times, while we are all up on each other. she gives me her

number and... well actually i dont really remember when she gave me her number, and i dont

remember exactly when or why i left. its kind of a blur. i am pretty confident that the guy

giving me free gentleman jack and cokes got fired because of it.

 

but i hop on my bike and im out. halfway home i decide to delete that girls number from my

phone because she was dumb and i didnt want to try to remember who she was in the

morning. i pull out my phone and wasted as fuck try to ride with no hands while scrolling

through my phone trying to find this girl. i find her. i spelled the name right, Tara. i press

delete then my handlebars turn and i fall into the concrete. my chain fell off but i am way too

fucking drunk to put it back on. i spend about 10 minutes trying to decipher the turns and

twists in the chain until finally i decide to just hop back on the bike and see if it will start

going. yes. this is how drunk i was. i pedal for about 10 seconds before i decide to walk it

instead. i get home and i get in the door. this is how i know i had my god damn keys,

because i was able to enter the god damn house. I am beat up. bloody in several places,

hurting internally in others.

 

i go to the porch and throw up a bunch. i go back to my room and take my jacket off, then go

back outside and throw up some more. go back in take off my shirt and throw up some

more. anyone that was watching this must have been in hysterics. i was pretty much playing

strip throw up by myself. my room mate tells me i was out there yelling nonsensical curse

words.

 

so one of the last times im out there throwing up, with only my underwear on i remember

there was a dead cat in the gutter and the trash was tomorrow. so, naked aside from the

underwear i run out to the street, pick up the dead cat by its neck and place it ever so gently

in the garbage can. actually thats a lie, i might have thrown it, no fucking idea.

 

i went back inside, washed my hands and went to bed. i woke up in the morning and could

not find my god damn keys anywhere so i take my spare. still way too wasted to drive, but i

needed to get to work. i get into my car and take off, going slow as shit even though im

going to be late because i really do not need a dui. half way to work i realize not only did i

not shave, brush my teeth or do my hair this morning, but i am in a white tshirt and shorts.

. which is what i think my room mate put me in after i fell asleep on her bedroom floor.

 

i call my work, tell them i cant make it in today, go back home and sleep.

 

now for the last 2 days i have been unable to find my god damn keys. anywhere. i have

searched high and low. them shits have vanished. i have checked the garbage disposal, thats

how thorough i have been.

 

where the fuck are my god damn keys?

[Poesia [ ] T]

There obviously inside the dead cat

[TheoHuxtable..]

When I was a little kid, Poppy and I hiked up the mountain every spring, before the black flies came out and after the snow melted and ran down to feed the hungry lake. At the top, we rested, ate peanut butter sandwiches with the crust cut off and drank cold water from a thermos as we sat under the rusting fire tower and scanned the grayskinned trees not yet filled out by leaves.

 

Once, on our way back down, we saw a big black dog standing in the middle of the trail below us. I wanted to run ahead and touch it, but Poppy stopped me. “That’s a bear, Paula.” Poppy took my hand in his and bent down next to me, leaned in close, and whispered as we watched the bear snuffing at the ground. I tilted my head up to Poppy’s face—the skin of his cheek next to my nose smelled like the roadside on a hot August day when the rain starts—tender wild roses and dusty leaves, hot tar and sweet clover. What he told me was about bears. Not the little kid stories I knew about honey pots and beds being too hard or too soft. What he told me was the truth.

 

“You hold onto this, Kid,” Poppy said. “You never know when you might need it.” The bear went back through the woods without even noticing that we watched him, but I never forgot what Poppy told me: Take your time. Observe. Once you’ve figured out what you’re dealing with, you’re safe to move on down the path.

 

 

Usually Jeannie was allowed to take the boat out by herself but when she brought me into her kitchen, both of us in bikinis and cutoffs, and said to her dad, “I’m teaching Paula to ski,” he turned from where he was leaning against the counter eating a grilled cheese and looked at us and shook his head. He looked at me. It was quick, the way he looked, but I felt it. I was in a new suit—silver and shiny—that I had bought with the money Aunt May had given me for my fifteenth birthday.

 

“No, you ain’t,” he said and popped the crust of his sandwich in his mouth, wiped his hands on his barn jeans. “I’ll teach you.”

[GLEN BENTON]

 

 

 

 

 

man... what the fuck.

[where]

[Poesia [ ] T]

[Itchy and Scratchy]

All this nonsense is making me hungry.

[jbrshmonster]

[Poesia [ ] T]

[TheoHuxtable..]

[TheoHuxtable..]

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[TheoHuxtable..]

[Poesia [ ] T]

[Poesia [ ] T]

[BLU]

[BLU]

[TheoHuxtable..]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-nFxacWxgu8

[BLU]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ch7txUjCmiA

[BLU]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n5Q1d0LPzR0

[TheoHuxtable..]