I have an uncle who speaks just like this...he has been locked up most of the last two decades and has survived an encounter with a flesh eating bacteria that ate a huge chunk out of his leg.....wastoid.
The majority of the things you listed have nothing to do with alcoholism.
*I would say you know you're an alcoholic when you drink first thing in the morning every morning.
The story on CNN was saying how the cop targeted minorities so I was expecting some racist hillbilly Texan. When the news team tracked one of the suspected cops down for a comment he ended up being black...SURPRISE.