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what we've learned from porn

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by dik.n.ur.ear, Nov 12, 2001.

  1. dik.n.ur.ear

    dik.n.ur.ear Senior Member

    Joined: Jan 5, 2001 Messages: 1,556 Likes Received: 0
    1. Women wear high heels to bed.
    2. Men are never impotent.
    3. When going down on a woman, 10 seconds is more than satisfactory.
    4. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarassment, but rather insist he have sex with her.
    5. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm.
    6. Women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-aged men.
    7. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob.
    8. Women always orgasm when men do.
    9. A blowjob will always get a woman off a speeding ticket.
    10. All women make noise..
    11. People in the 70's couldn't fuck unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background.
    12. Those tits are real.
    13. A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt.
    14. Men always groan "OH YEAH" when they cum.
    15. If there is two of them they "high five" each other (and the girl isn't disgusted).
    16. Double penetration makes a woman smile.
    17. Asian men don't exist.
    18. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes, the boyfriend doesn't knock the shit out of you if you shove your dick in his girlfriends mouth.
    19. There's a plot.
    20. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite her by giving her a gentle slap on the butt.
    21. Nurses suck patients cocks.
    22. Men always pull out.
    23. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before fucking the both of you.
    24. Women never have headaches....or periods.
    25. When a woman is sucking a man's dick, it's important for him to remind her to "suck it".
    26. Assholes are clean.
    27. A man ejaculating on a woman's butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned.
    28. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's trousers and find a dick there.
    29. Men don't have to beg.
    30. When standing during a blowjob, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip.
    :D
     
  2. seeking

    seeking Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: May 25, 2000 Messages: 32,277 Likes Received: 234
    hahahaha... great list...

    scallywag, whats the deal, cant return an email?
     
  3. eliteLEIT

    eliteLEIT Junior Member

    Joined: Oct 23, 2001 Messages: 111 Likes Received: 0
    hhahhahaha porn is good for you.

    we just learned alot from so little
     
  4. The Helacious Dr. Dazzle

    The Helacious Dr. Dazzle Member

    Joined: Sep 23, 2001 Messages: 257 Likes Received: 0
    Man, I've got that in my email so many times!

    Still funny, though
     
  5. deznatori

    deznatori Veteran Member

    Joined: Jan 30, 2001 Messages: 5,441 Likes Received: 0
    Damn I needed that laugh.
     
  6. dik.n.ur.ear

    dik.n.ur.ear Senior Member

    Joined: Jan 5, 2001 Messages: 1,556 Likes Received: 0
    ah shit i need to check my mail i spose!
     
  7. rip

    rip Elite Member

    Joined: Nov 10, 2001 Messages: 2,667 Likes Received: 0
    the funny thing is all that happends in 1 porn video. crazy huh.
     
  8. dr. frink one

    dr. frink one Elite Member

    Joined: Jun 7, 2001 Messages: 3,638 Likes Received: 1
    i would say one thing your forgot is that women always seem pleasd when a man just puts in in their ass without asking, and it never actually hurts women, they just love it.
     
  9. shameless self promotion

    shameless self promotion 12oz Legend

    Joined: Mar 7, 2001 Messages: 16,306 Likes Received: 104
  10. Pistol

    Pistol Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Jul 12, 2001 Messages: 19,363 Likes Received: 299
    Thank goodness for number 23.:p
     
  11. Verk

    Verk Guest

    lets not forget!!

    women love to expeirment with each other when bored!!
     
  12. eyeBddub

    eyeBddub Member

    Joined: Jan 14, 2001 Messages: 659 Likes Received: 0
    Hahaha whats with you and ass sex??
     
  13. Pistol

    Pistol Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Jul 12, 2001 Messages: 19,363 Likes Received: 299
    5. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm.
    Not only that but they will repeatedly say "Cum on my face" while your already 1 1/2 inches away from her face jacking off with it aimed at her nose.

    9. A blowjob will always get a woman off a speeding ticket.
    I think I'm going to join the California Highway Patrol

    11. People in the 70's couldn't fuck unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background.
    I still can't. Cop the Pornosonic album for some mood music.

    24. Women never have headaches....or periods.
    Those are called blowjob weeks.

    How many times does a guy say "Oh babbee, Oh Babbee!"???:king:
     
  14. Rodney Trotter

    Rodney Trotter Senior Member

    Joined: Aug 23, 2001 Messages: 1,683 Likes Received: 1
    Or butt hole week!:crazy:
     
  15. graffitiSUX

    graffitiSUX Senior Member

    Joined: May 18, 2001 Messages: 1,659 Likes Received: 0
    hahahahahahahahaha. you are a comic genius.
     
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