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what we've learned from porn

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by dik.n.ur.ear, Nov 12, 2001.

  1. dik.n.ur.ear

    dik.n.ur.ear 12oz Senior Member

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    what we've learned from porn

    Discussion started by dik.n.ur.ear - Nov 12, 2001

    1. Women wear high heels to bed.
    2. Men are never impotent.
    3. When going down on a woman, 10 seconds is more than satisfactory.
    4. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarassment, but rather insist he have sex with her.
    5. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm.
    6. Women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-aged men.
    7. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob.
    8. Women always orgasm when men do.
    9. A blowjob will always get a woman off a speeding ticket.
    10. All women make noise..
    11. People in the 70's couldn't fuck unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background.
    12. Those tits are real.
    13. A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt.
    14. Men always groan "OH YEAH" when they cum.
    15. If there is two of them they "high five" each other (and the girl isn't disgusted).
    16. Double penetration makes a woman smile.
    17. Asian men don't exist.
    18. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes, the boyfriend doesn't knock the shit out of you if you shove your dick in his girlfriends mouth.
    19. There's a plot.
    20. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite her by giving her a gentle slap on the butt.
    21. Nurses suck patients cocks.
    22. Men always pull out.
    23. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before fucking the both of you.
    24. Women never have headaches....or periods.
    25. When a woman is sucking a man's dick, it's important for him to remind her to "suck it".
    26. Assholes are clean.
    27. A man ejaculating on a woman's butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned.
    28. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's trousers and find a dick there.
    29. Men don't have to beg.
    30. When standing during a blowjob, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip.
    :D
     
    dik.n.ur.ear - Rank: 12oz Senior Member - Messages:
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  2. seeking

    seeking Dirty Dozen Crew

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    seeking - Replied Nov 12, 2001

    hahahaha... great list...

    scallywag, whats the deal, cant return an email?
     
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  3. eliteLEIT

    eliteLEIT 12oz Junior Member

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    eliteLEIT - Replied Nov 12, 2001

    hhahhahaha porn is good for you.

    we just learned alot from so little
     
    eliteLEIT - Rank: 12oz Junior Member - Messages:
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  4. The Helacious Dr. Dazzle

    The Helacious Dr. Dazzle 12oz Member

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    The Helacious Dr. Dazzle - Replied Nov 12, 2001

    Man, I've got that in my email so many times!

    Still funny, though
     
    The Helacious Dr. Dazzle - Rank: 12oz Member - Messages:
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  5. deznatori

    deznatori 12oz Veteran Member

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    deznatori - Replied Nov 12, 2001

    Damn I needed that laugh.
     
    deznatori - Rank: 12oz Veteran Member - Messages:
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  6. dik.n.ur.ear

    dik.n.ur.ear 12oz Senior Member

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    dik.n.ur.ear - Replied Nov 12, 2001

    ah shit i need to check my mail i spose!
     
    dik.n.ur.ear - Rank: 12oz Senior Member - Messages:
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  7. rip

    rip 12oz Elite Member

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    rip - Replied Nov 12, 2001

    the funny thing is all that happends in 1 porn video. crazy huh.
     
    rip - Rank: 12oz Elite Member - Messages:
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  8. dr. frink one

    dr. frink one 12oz Elite Member

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    dr. frink one - Replied Nov 12, 2001

    i would say one thing your forgot is that women always seem pleasd when a man just puts in in their ass without asking, and it never actually hurts women, they just love it.
     
    dr. frink one - Rank: 12oz Elite Member - Messages:
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  9. shameless self promotion

    shameless self promotion 12oz Legend

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    shameless self promotion - Replied Nov 12, 2001

    ha bump
     
    shameless self promotion - Rank: 12oz Legend - Messages:
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  10. Pistol

    Pistol Dirty Dozen Crew

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    Pistol - Replied Nov 12, 2001

    Thank goodness for number 23.:p
     
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  11. Verk

    Verk Guest

    Verk - Replied Nov 12, 2001

    lets not forget!!

    women love to expeirment with each other when bored!!
     
  12. eyeBddub

    eyeBddub 12oz Member

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    eyeBddub - Replied Nov 12, 2001

    Hahaha whats with you and ass sex??
     
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  13. Pistol

    Pistol Dirty Dozen Crew

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    Pistol - Replied Nov 12, 2001

    5. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm.
    Not only that but they will repeatedly say "Cum on my face" while your already 1 1/2 inches away from her face jacking off with it aimed at her nose.

    9. A blowjob will always get a woman off a speeding ticket.
    I think I'm going to join the California Highway Patrol

    11. People in the 70's couldn't fuck unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background.
    I still can't. Cop the Pornosonic album for some mood music.

    24. Women never have headaches....or periods.
    Those are called blowjob weeks.

    How many times does a guy say "Oh babbee, Oh Babbee!"???:king:
     
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  14. Rodney Trotter

    Rodney Trotter 12oz Senior Member

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    Rodney Trotter - Replied Nov 12, 2001

    Or butt hole week!:crazy:
     
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  15. graffitiSUX

    graffitiSUX 12oz Senior Member

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    graffitiSUX - Replied Nov 12, 2001

    hahahahahahahahaha. you are a comic genius.
     
    graffitiSUX - Rank: 12oz Senior Member - Messages:
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