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Toe Cutter

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all the time, me and a friend of mine were dating sisters. we would leave school friday and stay at their crib untill sunday night and almost every time we left on sunday he would pass some really bad gas and say UGHHHH ive been holding that one, so this guy would hold his shits and farts all weekend long. i told him that wasent healthy he said whatever, turnes out he had to get a enema

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i know i got that part bro i was messing with you

 

 

you roll up to the gas station and say 'fill' to the attendant, hoping he doesn't double check what you said. so then he fills your tank. he comes to collect, you should be on your cell phone at this point to help sell the story, and tell him you only wanted 5 dollars worth and hold up a lincoln. he complains and you say thats all the money you got. show him and empty wallet. then he'll def be pissed but you got gas. only do this when your really are in a bind and need gas for the next week

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what the fuck?

where the fuck do you live?

who the fuck has a godamn full service station now and days?

?

wtf?!?!?!?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

sorry, I'm drunk

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the fridge does just fine... i think thats what it was made for

 

 

and yes i totally run the water after i piss knowing that i have no intentions of actually washing my hands if there are people around

 

HAHAH.

 

i do this every night.

 

Then when someone wants to bum a smoke off me its funny thinking, yo what would this dude say if he knew i didn't wash my hands right now.

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i mean fuck i learned not to piss on my hands in like first grade... washing your hands in over rated, but i totally do it all the time at work cause its just that extra 3 or so minutes in the bathroom that i'm not working. sometimes i wash before and after i pee (but mainly cause i have press ink on my hands)

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DSC00882.JPG?imgmax=640

 

He was out doing manly type shit like fixing cars or exploring new land to build his own house on with his bear hands when a rattle snake bit him. He sucked out the poison, put some tissue paper on it and tied it up with electric tape after biting the snakes head off and spitting it at his girlfriend.

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