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So i started making wine


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when i lived in alabama i went to a party (that night is a blur) at some dudes trailer and her had his porch railing lined with jars of stuff he just left out... i remember trying the grape and im pretty sure i thought it was good. he gave me the basic rundown as to how it was made but like i said...the night is a blur.................

basically. whats the method? spread the know

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found this on tha net




Step 1: Gather the Ingredients.

You're probably wondering what exactly we consider "household items" in this article. I mean, if we consider a bottle of vodka and kool-aid household items,

1) 3 cans of 100% frozen grape juice (I use Welch's 100% grape juice concentrate). In total, the cans should make 144 fluid ounces of juice when properly prepared. We aren't properly preparing it, so that number is only relevant in determining how concentrated the juice is. Cost: Roughly $2.00 a can. Total: $6.00.

2) 1/2 cup of sugar. I purchased a huge bag of sugar for $2.00, so I probably only used a dime's worth in this project. You can even steal packets of sugar and use them if you are REALLY, REALLY CHEAP. Just don't try to use a sugar-free sweetener, because it won't work.

3) A 1 gallon container. I use a milk jug because it is free. You can buy an expensive container if you want to, but then why not just spend the money on an expensive bottle of wine instead? CHEAP is the idea here!

4) Balloons. You'll need ONE unless it breaks. These cost a few pennies each, or you can get a bag containing dozens for $1.00.

5) Water. Distilled water is a no-no, but almost any other type that is healthy will do. I use tap.

6) A pin. You'll need to poke a few small holes into the balloon later.

7) Magic Fairy Dust - AKA yeast. We'll talk more about this in a moment. You can purchase packets of baker's yeast at any grocery store. It will run about $0.75 to $1.50, though you will usually get more than one "packet" in a strip.

In addition to these items, I'd also recommend a measuring cup, a rubber band, a siphoning hose (any small, thin piece of tubing will do), and a funnel. You don't NEED these items, but they'll help.

Once you have all of the ingredients, place them together on a table and stare at them. You will be turning these common items into wine very shortly. But first...

I called yeast "magic fairy dust" earlier because it is what turns grape juice into wine. Without yeast, there would BE NO wine/beer/vodka/tequila/rum/whatever. So the next time you take a sip of alcohol, give thanks to the Big Guy for creating it.

But what is yeast? Specifically, yeast is a fungus that exists everywhere around us. That's right: Fungus. There are many different strains of yeast, but the ones we will be using all have one thing in common: they eat sugar and water and excrete alcohol. Yes, you read that correctly - alcohol is basically fungus piss. Think about THAT the next time you see some attractive member of the opposite sex downing a shot at a bar!

..you could also use a yeast specifically FOR winemaking. They run between $0.50 and $1.00 per packet (only slightly more than common baker's yeast), but can usually only be found at a specialty store. Wine yeast WILL improve the flavor of your alcohol considerably, so keep this in mind when brewing future batches.


Step 2: Mix Some Concentrate!

Now thaw the concentrate and POUR IT INTO THE GALLON CONTAINER. Mix in TWO cans of water for each can of concentrate - NOT THREE as the packaging indicates. Because the yeast will eat a lot of the sugar, we need more concentrate than normal juice to make the concoction even remotely sweet. Thus, we use less water.


This is what happens when you try to pour the concentrate without a funnel.

Once all of the juice and water is added, cap the jug AND SHAKE IT UP. Not only does this greatly improve how well-mixed the juice and water are, it will also put air into it. This is called AERATING THE MUST in proper winemaking terminology (the must being the juice). Just FYI.


Step 3: Add the Sugar.

Dump that 1/2 cup of sugar into the jug with the juice. It is a lot easier if you use a funnel. After that, SHAKE VIGOROUSLY WITH THE CAP ON. Don't let the sugar settle at the bottom, or else there may be flavor problems later.


The concentrate, sugar, and water have all been added.


Step 4: Prepare and Add the Yeast.

Preparing and adding the yeast is more complex than just ripping open a packet and dumping the powder into the juice. If you want the yeast to work properly, you need to HYDRATE it first. Follow the directions on the package in order to do this properly. If you're too lazy to follow them precisely, just pour some warm water into a cup and then dump the powder into it. DO NOT STIR the yeast right away - For best results, give it time to hydrate on its own before messing with it.


The dry yeast begins to hydrate.

Once the yeast is completely hydrated, add a few spoonfuls of sugar and stir. How will you know when the yeast is hydrated? It will look like this:


The yeast is now MOSTLY hydrated.

Wait for the yeast to foam up. And when I say "foam up," I mean FOAM! It is not uncommon for the yeast to foam up at least an inch. Pour the yeast into the juice once this happens and again SHAKE VIGOROUSLY WITH THE LID ON. Quickly move on to the next step once the juice and yeast are properly mixed.



Step 5: Add the Balloon.

Here's an activity that may make a few readers nervous: Get a pin and put 3-10 holes in the top of the balloon. These holes will allow the gases the fermentation process creates to escape, but are so small that they will mostly close when the pressure of fermentation decreases.

Once the holes are made, pull the balloon around the top of the OPEN gallon container. You don't need the lid for a while, but make sure to keep it around so that you can securely "seal" the finished wine in a few weeks.


A properly closed jug of grape juice begins its transformation.

When placing the balloon around the opening, do your best to push it "down" into the container. It shouldn't stick up.. YET. If you want to make sure the balloon doesn't pop off during fermentation, place a rubber band around the bottom of it or tape it to the jug. Tying it with string also works.


Notice how the balloon is hanging downward?

Congratulate yourself! Once the balloon is on, you've completed your part of the deal! Make sure the jug is in a warm place where it will not be disturbed and LEAVE IT ALONE.


Now It Is Time To Play.. THE WAITING GAME!

Probably the hardest part of this whole process is allowing the yeast to do their work of convert the sugar to alcohol. How will you know if the little guys are doing their job? Within 12 hours, VISIBLE and AUDIBLE signs of fermentation should appear. These include seeing small bubbles rising inside the container and hearing a hissing sound. Even more obvious should be the balloon.


See the balloon? Fermentation has begun to occur in this jug.

When the balloon begins to inflate, you know the yeast is working! If it hasn't started to inflate within 24 hours from the time you poured in the yeast, the fermentation has probably stalled and you need to try adding new yeast.

It usually takes between one and two weeks for primary fermentation to stop. You'll know this has occurred when the balloon deflates considerably. Place the jug into a cool place like a refrigerator at this time. Also, put the cap back on the jug once the balloon deflates almost completely. These two steps will protect your alcohol's flavor, especially if you don't drink it right away.

Once primary fermentation has stopped, the alcohol content should be sufficient for you to get a good buzz from the wine. If you want to improve the taste, though, you'll need to let it sit for a month or two before drinking it. If you REALLY want it to taste good, transfer it from the current container (called a "fermentor") into another container, making sure to leave all of the gunk on the bottom in the previous vessel. This gunk, called "sediment" or "dregs" by most, is primarily made up of yeast cells that have died from alcohol poisoning (you try swimming around in your own urine for a while and see what happens!). Though usually not poisonous (at least not any more poisonous than alcohol normally is), they give the wine an odd flavor. To get the wine out without disturbing the dregs too much, siphon the wine out. Siphoning just means you take a hose and suck the wine from one container to another, leaving a lair of wine and sediment behind. If you don't want any saliva to contaminate the wine, rinse your mouth out with Listerine or vodka prior to siphoning and then use an aluminum foil tip on the end of the hose. Pull the foil OFF of the hose just before the wine gets to it and you should be fine.


And the Results Are...

By the end of this process, you should have the equivalent of two VERY drinkable bottles of wine for the low-low price of about seven dollars (that's three dollars and fifty cents a bottle). Sure, you can get wine CHEAPER than this at some stores, but it is usually REALLY BAD wine that has the alcohol content of tap water. If you want to lower the price even more, you can try adding less juice and more sugar, or use a cheaper brand of juice. With science, the possibilities are limitless!



I hear you! I hear you! There's still one person out there saying, "But I STILL CAN'T AFFORD $3.00 a bottle for wine when I have a party.. especially since it gets turned into punch!" WTF? How can you NOT afford that and still have a party? Well, I've got you covered with this formula for FLAVORLESS WINE.


A jug of sugar water awaits its transformation into "sugar wine."

For this project, you'll need ALL of the equipment previously mentioned. The ingredients, though, have changed - you no longer need grape juice concentrate. Instead, you'll need THREE AND A HALF CUPS OF SUGAR. If you buy the really big bag of generic sugar at the store, this comes out to about $0.35 worth of sugar. Of course, you could always STEAL that much sugar from some restaurant, but you'd probably be arrested for trying to walk out with all of those packets stuffed in your pockets. Take it from me - I've seen old women try it, and it usually doesn't work out.

Moving on: Take the sugar and pour it into the gallon container. Add 14 cups of water and continue the process exactly as you did before. The results should be a mostly flavorless "sugar wine" with similar alcohol content to grape wine. This, however, has the equivalent cost of $0.18 a bottle. Though not particularly tasty, this stuff is perfect for mixing with kool-aid and other drinks to form "party punch." If you're a REALLY cheap host, this is the way to go.

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hey jamba here is one i found on apple wine


APPLE WINE (Heavy bodied)



24 lb. windfall apples, mixed varieties*

3-6 lb. granulated sugar

1 gallon water

1 tsp. pectic enzyme

Sauterne wine yeast and nutrient


Chop the apples into small pieces, put into primary fermentation vessel, add the pectic enzyme and water and cover the mixture. The water will not cover the apples, so stir several times a day to bring bottom apples to the top. After 24 hours, add the yeast and nutrient. Keep covered and in a warm place for 7-10 days. When the vigorous fermentation of the pulp subsides, strain the juice from the pulp and set aside, then press the juice from the pulp and add to the set-aside liquor. Measure and add 3 lb. sugar per gallon of liquor. Put into secondary fermentation vessel and fit with airlock. Rack when clear, allow another 60 days, then rack again and bottle. Allow six months before tasting, one year for best results. *For this and all apple wine recipes, unless varieties are specified, the more acid and sour varieties are preferred and the sweeter eating varieties are to be avoided. Winesap, McIntosh, Jonathan, and crab apples are best. Delicious apples should be avoided.


OR Medium bodied

12 lb. windfall apples, mixed varieties

3 lb granulated sugar

1 gallon water

1 tsp. pectic enzyme

Sauterne wine yeast and nutrient


Quarter the apples and run them through a mincer. Bring pulp to simmer in 1 gallon water, holding simmer for 15 minutes. Strain juice onto the sugar in primary fermentation vessel, stirring well to dissolve, then reintroduce the strained pulp and, when cool, the pectic enzyme, stirring well. Cover, set in a warm place for 24 hours, then add yeast and nutrient, cover, and set in a warm place for four days, stirring twice daily. Strain pulp and pour liquor into secondary fermentation vessel and fit with airlock. Rack when clear and fermentation has ceased. Rack again in 30 days and again in another 30 days, then bottle. Allow one year to age.


OR Light bodied

6 lb. windfall apples, mixed varieties

1/2 lb. chopped golden raisins

3 lb. granulated sugar

1 lemon

1/2 tsp. pectic enzyme

yeast and nutrient


Chop the apples into small pieces and bring to simmer in 1 gallon water, holding simmer for 15 minutes. Strain liquid onto the sugar,adding the grated rind of the lemon and stirring well to blend. When nearly cool, add lemon juice and pectic enzyme, stir well, cover, and set in warm place for 24 hours. Add yeast and nutrient, again stir well, cover again, and set in warm place for an additional 24 hours. Strain again into secondary fermentation vessel and fit with airlock. Rack after 30 days, add chopped raisins, and allow to ferment under airlock for six months. Rack and bottle. Taste after six months, or allow one year to mature.

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here is one more hope it works for you....


Jug Wine

This wine recipe comes to us from Kritsofur J. Morris. Thanks for your input!


"This is the first wine I ever made. It's a very easy recipe. Great for a first-timer!"



2 cans frozen 100% grape juice

1 gallon distilled water

3 ½ cups sugar

1 package yeast

1 glass gallon jug

1 punching balloon





Thaw grape juice and put in sterilized glass jug.

Warm distilled water to 110 degrees Fahrenheit and dissolve sugar in water.

Add yeast and mix well.

Using a funnel pour water/sugar yeast mixture into jug until about 1 inch from top.

Rinse inside of balloon.

Stretch balloon over bottle and tape it securely.

Put in a warm dark place; be sure to give room for the balloon to expand. It will get quite large.

After 30 days (or longer if you like) remove balloon and carefully strain wine with cheesecloth into another jug.




Strawberry/Rhubarb Mead

This recipe was provided by Chris Brodie of Iowa. Thanks, Chris!



4 lb. or 64 oz. of clover honey

1 lb. frozen rhubarb

1 lb. frozen strawberries

3 tsp. of citric acid

1 tsp. of yeast nutrient

4-5 drops of pectic enzyme

potassium sorbate

sparkalloid wine clarifier

1 gallon glass apple cider/type jug





Bring 1 ½- 2 qts. water to boil in large pan.

Add 3 lb. or 48 oz. of clover honey, stirring right away to keep it from the bottom. Stir until boiling, simmer on low heat for 20-30 minutes.

Add one pound each of frozen strawberries and diced rhubarb, and simmer an additional ½ hour.

Let sit overnight to cool and extract flavor.

Pour mixture through a screen of some sort or cheese cloth into another container.

Pour mixture into your glass jug, to the level of the neck.

Add the citric acid, yeast nutrient, pectic enzyme.

Rehydrate your yeast in 95-100 degree water (Fahrenheit) for 15-20 minutes, and add to your mixture in jug.

Cap and shake well to dissolve the ingredients added

Remove cap, and fit some cheesecloth with a rubber band over the opening, or an airlock with a cotton ball covering the opening.

The must will take 1-2 days to start fermenting; wait until the vigorous fermentation has taken place (the froth will disappear after about a week), then fit with an airlock so that the anaerobic fermentation will occur. Rack each time you notice a firm sediment building up on the bottom of the jug. Take this opportunity to add the additional 12 oz of honey; this will feed the fermentation at a slower pace, but will allow for a higher alcoholic content of the finished wine. After about 3-4 months, fermentation will be negligible to nonexistent; at this time kill the yeast to stop fermentation with potassium sorbate. This is also a good time to add sparkalloid, to clear the wine and allow all sediment suspended to form a sludge at the bottom of the jar. After you have killed the fermentation, let the jug sit for a good 3 weeks to a month, and very carefully siphon the wine off of the sediment into 750 ml bottles and cork. I can usually get 4 bottles out of a jug after racking the good stuff off of the sediment. Age for at least 8 months, the longer the better, although what I sampled at bottling was excellent.




Grapefruit Wine

A. Colaire from the Dominican Republic sent us this one:


5 large West Indian grapefruits (preferably from the Dominican Republic!)

3 ½ pounds brown sugar

2 tablespoon concentrated tea liquid (Tetley, Red Rose, Typhoo, etc.)

1 Imperial gallon water

1 pound dried raisins

1 package yeast





Extract juice from grapefruits into a sterile container.

Place sugar into water and boil until completely dissolved and allow to cool down to approximately 110 degrees Fahrenheit.

Add grapefruit juice, raisins and tea and place all in a properly sterilized fermentation vessel and add the yeast.

Place fermentation trapping device and allow to ferment for six weeks. After six weeks, rack, i.e. syphon off the clear wine from the bottom sediment into bottles, cork and place them horizontally allowing at least least four weeks for the anaerobic or secondary fermentation process.



Farmer's Wine

This recipe was given to us by Jim Cox; it's another easy balloon wine.


"I hope someone can get some use out this little recipe because it does make a nice 'dinner' drink."



1/4 teaspoon Active Dry Yeast

1-Qt unsweetened grape juice

1-Qt Cranberry Juice Cocktail

3 ½ cups sugar




Dissolve yeast in lukewarm water.

Combine grape juice, Cranberry Cocktail and sugar in a large bowl. Add yeast to mixture.

Transfer juice mixture to a clean gallon jug and fill the jug, to the neck, with water

Cap with a large, strong balloon. Let stand in a warm place for five (5) weeks.

Serve chilled.



Great-grandmother Dandelion Wine Recipe

This recipe was provided by William A. Rost, who transcribed it from a recipe written by Mrs. Levenia Eager Meshey in 1972.



2 quarts of dandelion flowers (no stem on flowers)

One gallon boiling water

Juice of two lemons

2 ½ lb. granulated sugar



Use 4 quarts boiling water to scald the flowers in an earthen crock. Let stand for 24 hours. Cover the crock with a cloth. Squeeze or strain juice through a clean muslin bag but not too hard. Let it drip out until most is all dry then squeeze not too hard or your wine will be bitter. Add juice of two lemons to one gallon of juice and 2 ½ lb. of granulated sugar. Put sugar in the glass jugs before you add the lemon juice and flower juice. Set in the sun to ferment until you see no more bubbles in the jugs and the bees stop coming. When the juice overflows at the top of the jugs, add water to fill up whenever it's overflowed. Add the clear water to the top of jug when you see no more bubbles. Takes about 2 ½ to three months to ferment. Strain through a muslin bag and put in clean jugs and seal tight. I put a small piece of muslin over the top neck of jugs and a stone on top to keep out the bugs while fermenting.


P.S. As the water evaporates at the top neck of jug, add fresh cold water to make sure the neck is full. You have to fill this once or twice a week if the sun is very hot, as you need hot sun to make good wine.




Elderberry Wine Recipe

This recipe was provided by Penny Thomas of Scotland. It was adapted from Mollie Harris' country wine book.


Hope you like this recipe. What I particularly like about it is that there is no added bits and pieces - just good old country stuff. Made it last year and it's nearly all been drunk! Will make lots more next time!!



3 lb elderberries (remove the stalks)

3 lb sugar

l lemon

l lb rasins (could use sultanas)

½ ounce of yeast



To remove the berries from the stalks, use a fork.


Put berries in a sanitized bucket and pour on gallon of boiling water. Mash the berries against the side of the bucket then put in the raisins. Cover and leave for 3 or 4 days. Strain and tip the liquid back into bucket; add the sugar and stir until dissolved. Squeeze the lemon and add all the juice (to get the most juice from your lemon, cut it in half and put in microwave for 30 seconds). Sprinkle on the yeast. Cover for 3 days, strain again and pour wine into demijohn. Fix airlock and leave until bubbling completely stops (I left mine for about 5 months). Strain and bottle off. The wine could be ready to drink in about 4 months (if too young leave it for much longer). Has a lovely red color.




Jalapeno Wine

This recipe was given to us by Bob Endicott of the Ferry Creek Winery in Ft. Walton Beach, FL. After he made one gallon, he deeply regretted it and claimed he should have made five gallons!


"To make the wine hot enough to melt the fillings in your teeth, leave the seeds in; for a milder 'yankee' version take them out. This is a fun wine to cook with. It can be used to enliven chicken or stir-fry dishes."



1 US Gallon



12 fresh jalapeno peppers

1 box raisins (l5 oz.)

2 pounds sugar

1 ½ teaspoon acid blend

10 drops pectic enzyme

3 ½ quarts water

1 campden tablet (crushed)

Montrachet yeast





Trim off the stems of the peppers.

Using 2 cups of water, chop the peppers and raisins in a blender until smooth like a thick milkshake. Put into primary fermenter along with 3 quarts water. Add all other ingredients except yeast. Let stand 24 hours in the covered container.

After the 24 hours are up, add yeast and re-cover. Ferment on the pulp, stirring every day, for 5 to 7 days, then rack to secondary. Continue with normal fermentation per your usual method.


Take care when handling raw jalapenos. These little suckers can burn your skin (especially those sensitive areas and, of course, protect those eyes)!




Rhubarb Wine

This is an award-winning recipe provided by Don Schiller from Minnesota, who says it makes "a wonderfully fruity 'rhubarb pie' - tasting wine!"



6 US Gallons



14.5 lbs. Canadian Red rhubarb

14.5 lbs. sugar

1 packet (5 gr.) Cote de Blancs yeast

1 1/4 tsp. yeast nutrient





Slice rhubarb thinly and cover with sugar in stainless steel or glass pan. Cover pan with cheesecloth.

After two days, strain off juice and wash out sugar remaining in the pulp by stirring the pulp with cold water,

then strain again. Add enough water to make six gallons plus one quart and pour into six-gallon carboy. Save one quart as "sweet reserve" by putting into a Ziplock bag and freezing (the use of the reserve juice will produce a significantly more "fruity" wine). Do not add Campden tablets/sulfite at this time as it will reduce the taste of rhubarb in the final wine.

Add yeast and yeast nutrient and ferment at a temperature of 60° F.

Transfer the wine after three months and top off by adding the one-quart "sweet reserve" juice. Add tartaric acid to raise the titratable acidity (TA) to 0.76, if needed.

After five months, check sulfite level and add Campden tablets/metabisulfite to bring SO2 level to 50-60 PPM.

TA of my wine was 0.81 at bottling.

Bottle and enjoy!


The rhubarb should be small stalk red rhubarb as that is better flavor. Young rhubarb is best.


Not adding sulfite at the beginning will help keep some additional flavor. The sweet reserve is taken out of the

main batch, so no sulfite is added anywhere until after the fermentation is done.


From my experience, rhubarb is sometimes tough to start because the acid is often high. It often works best to

make a good yeast starter before adding to the must.




Tea Bag Wine

Provided by Frank Buffone, Williamson, NY


Dear Grapestompers,

I'd like to submit a wine recipe for your consideration. It's not an original of mine, but one that I've extensively modified.


A dry tea wine is useful for blending with other wines that may seem a little flat or dull, due to low tannin content. The finished wine is characteristic of the initial tea used. This is a wine to make at any time, perhaps when other ingredients are not readily available.



5 US gallons


Ingredients (mind how they're added below!)


Group A:

40 to 50 teabags, depending on the strength desired. If flavoring/aroma is desired, add additional 15 to 20 herbal or fruit flavored tea bags of your choice.

3 lb. chopped raisins or sultanas

3 medium oranges, well washed and chopped in a food processor

2 lemons, well washed and chopped in a food processor

1 cup Steen's Pure Cane Syrup OR 2 cups pure maple syrup

10 lb. white sugar

1 lb. brown sugar


Group B:

2 tsp. acid blend

3 tsp. yeast nutrient

1 tsp. yeast energizer

3 tsp. pectic enzyme

3 campden tablets, crushed




Dissolve all of group B in 250ml warm water.


Day 1: Make 2 gallons of tea with ingredients from group A. First bring water to a rolling boil and then add the tea bags. Allow to steep for about an hour or until water has cooled to around 100 F. Remove the tea bags. Add remaining Group A and all of group B ingredients. Stir mixture until everything is dissolved. Transfer all of this mixture, including fruit pulp, into a primary fermenter and add 2 more (boiled and cooled) gallons water. Cover fermenter with plastic lid or Saran Wrap and allow to rest overnight in a dark place.


Group C:

250ml warm (not hot) tap water. Add 1 packet of Cote De Blanc wine yeast (made by Red Star) to water. Allow yeast to rehydrate for 30 minutes in just water. Then add a small pinch each of yeast nutrient and yeast energizer.


1/4 tsp. salt

1/4 tsp. sugar


Leave it alone for a few hours to start working.


Day 2: Prepare group C. Give this about 4 hours to come alive and pitch into primary fermenter. Gently stir the mixture and cover.


Days 3 to 6: Punch down must and very gently stir mixture daily.


Day 7: Strain the must into a carboy or demijohn; top up to the shoulder with 70 F water.


Beyond: Ferment to dry. Rack when necessary and add a crushed campden tablet at each racking. Make all required SG, and pH checks throughout the entire process. Leave to clear before bottling. Sparkalloid works well for clearing. Add potassium sorbate / campden tablet prior to finishing.

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ok.....heres a link to make pruno (prison alcohol)..




Pruno, a prison wine created from fruit, sugar and ketchup, is such a vile and despicable beast in the California state penal system that prisoners can't eat fresh fruit at lunch.


Back in December 2002, the warden at Lancaster prison in Los Angeles County removed fresh fruit from box lunches in the maximum-security lockup, as an effort to reduce violence. Apparently, sober, scurvy-addled felons are much easier to control than drunken, violent convicts.


So, perhaps this plan is flawed. And perhaps it's also worth noting that exactly one year earlier at a different L.A. County prison -- the Peter J. Pitchess Detention Center in Santa Clarita Valley -- hatched




a scheme to let inmates pick grapes at a winery and shag golf balls at a local driving range. While the County's effort to combat pruno are suspect, there's no deny that pruno is a huge problem, increasing the levels of violence and allowing convicts to continue their had habits while in prison.


In the first 270 days of 2002, staff at Lancaster prison were assaulted 102 times -- about once every three days.


By most accounts, pruno isn't something a normal human would want to drink, so potent that two gallons is said to be "a virtual liquor store," enough to get a dozen people mindblowingly wasted. And while it tastes so putrid that even hardened



Even people who have never had any trouble with the law can learn to make this horrible, putrid beverage!




prisoners gulp it down while holding their noses, they'll go to incredible lengths to make it, whipping up batches from frosting, yams, raisins and damn near everything.


What's all this fuss about? The Black Table decided to investigate.




The Recipe For Prison Pruno*


* -- derived from the Jarvis Masters poem of the same name -- SEE SIDEBAR.


The Ingredients.





* Ten oranges. In our prison commissary, Valencia oranges were on sale, ten for $2. Your prison commissary may differ.


* An eight ounce can of fruit cocktail. In this case, an 8.5 ounce can of Del Monte's "fruit cocktail in heavy syrup," for 90 cents.


* Forty to sixty sugarcubes. Either hang out with old people who still use sugarcubes or steal a ton of sugar packets from the local deli.


* Sixteen ounces of water. Tap is fine, since like, you *are* in prison.


* A big plastic bag that can be sealed. Trashbags and rubber bands are totally cool. We used Ziploc bags.


* Some ketchup. Six packets of ketchup from the local deli should cover things nicely. Please use Heinz, because anything else is kinda nasty and will ruin your Pruno.


* A towel.

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I made some of the wine last year. I got 2 gallons of welches 100% grape juice, the 100% is the important part. I put those 2 gallons in a 3 gallon container along with some sugar and yeast and a baggie with holes in it the cover the opening. Sure enough by party time(about 5 days) I had drinkable alcohol. It was this weird opaque purple color and tasted pretty bad, so I gave the two gallons to the first idiot that said it tasted good. In all I can say I made my own wine but in the end it costed more than getting two bottles of two buck chuck. Which would have been easier and more sanitary to get ahold of.

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