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Swear Words


HardyHarHar

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snowball v.

 

To blow salami cigarette smoke back into the tobacconists mouth... sort of thing.

 

 

the other n.

 

It; the old how's your father.

 

 

rear gunner n.

 

In aviation terms, a gunner who shoots one of his own side by firing his lamb cannon into their bomb bay

 

 

arse like a brake light sim.

 

Of one's ringpiece, to be enjoying the benefits of last night's Ruby Murray. 'Come to the Rupali restaurant, Bigg Market, Newcastle upon Tyne. You'll get a warm welcome, a hot curry and an arse like a brake light the next morning - or your money back!' (Speech to the United Nations, Abdul Latif, Lord of Harpole).

 

 

One-eyed Willie's eye patch n.

 

Condom; English overcoat.

 

 

fuck truck n.

 

Clapped out van, usually a Ford Transit, with blacked out windows and a piss stained mattress and several empty beer cans in the back. Also shag wagon.

 

 

brown hatter n.

 

One who bowls from the Pavilion end and in so doing tarnishes his bobbies helmet.

 

 

beef bayonet n.

 

Penis; cock; pork sword; love torpedo.

 

 

beef curtains n.

 

Of women's genitalias, those folds of skin known as the labia minora, or small lips. Or indeed piss flaps.

 

 

bum cigar n.

 

In after dinner conversation, a stool. "Well, if you'll excuse me ladies, I think I'll nip upstairs and light a bum cigar".

 

 

Bowie stare n.

 

The sight of a knickerless stripper's brown eye and pink eye as she turns her back on a chap and bends over. Named after the famous wonky-eyed half rice-half chips crooner David.

 

 

stick shifter n.

 

Wanker.

 

 

Valentines Day porridge n.

 

Semen; liquid pearls.

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bagging v.

 

Shagging.

 

 

throne room n.

 

Queen's shithouse.

 

 

beaver cleaver n.

 

Primitive male weapon for splaying beaver.

 

 

plumber's toolbag n.

 

Furry bicycle stand; mott.

 

 

kick with the left foot v.

 

What players who arrive on the other bus tend to do; football equivalent of bowling from the Pavilion end.

 

 

fist of fury n.

 

Of a gentleman with a restricted wank window, for example whilst his missus has just nipped next door for a cup of sugar, a mindlessly violent act of self abuse carried out in a sort of masturbatory red mist. An armbreaker, bishop rage, power wank.

 

 

kakatoa n.

 

An earth-shattering anal explosion that can be heard half way round the world and which causes tidal waves and poonamis to sweep through the chod-bin, devastating everything that lies in their path. Also crackatoa.

 

 

three wheeler rhym. slang

 

Dyke; lesbian. From 'three wheeled trike'.

 

 

nork hammock n.

 

Of female fashions, a halter neck top.

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