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Guest mopius

dumbest shit said to a cop.....

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Guest keep

dumb little kid: Oh shit man theres a pig in the parking lot hide that beer man


cop, who until that point was just going into the store for coffee and donuts or somthing: what? are you dumb or something?


kid: umm i thought....


cop: come here!


he talked to the kid for a while then went in the store, never came and looked in my car.

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cop:Well Im just going to give you a warning for right now.

Dude : ok officer

Cop : (walking away) stay out of trouble now

Dude : (under his breath) fat ass bastard

Cop : (running back) what was that son?

Dude: I was talking to my friend(friend is a skinny anorexic)

Cop: ticket


[This message has been edited by Klypse (edited 08-03-2001).]

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at a rave held in a paint ball place - By the time I got inside of the party - I was frying on 2 purple pyramids.. the paint would shoot off every now and then only to land on the floor or on peoples clothes. Plus it would drip from the ceiling and walls. (not shitting you)


Anyhow, cops are standing under a little 'fort' so they don't get dirty and my stupid ass walks up and says - "don't worry, it will disappear in a couple of seconds." - he responds with a slow nodding of the head and a dragged out "right"...

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Guest --zeSto--

real story...


outside with friends sippin on beer...

along come 2 motorcycle cops and a car of plainclothes.


cop: what you got there?

me: beer.

cop: you know you can carry that shit around.

me stepping of the sidewalk: but I'm on my lawn.

cop: you weren't when I saw you.

me: you got to be kidding me!

stupid friend: maybe when can make some sort of deal.

big cop: (laughing) you want to make a deal son?

me(to stupid friend): Shut the fuck up man!

big cop: (serious now) what kind of deal?

stupid friend: how about some cash?

me: SHUT UP!

big cop: sure.. cash... give 'em a ticket!

cop: here you go..

me: 160 fucking dollars.

big cop: nice deal eh?

me: 160 bucks for 3 dollars worth of beer?

big cop: Thank your friend.

me (to the retard): you're sooo fucking dead.

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me and friend getting stopped by cop right after bustin out at about 3 in morning drunk and high.



cop-what are you guys up to

me-oh not much i was just showin my friend around

cop-kinda late huh mind if i see whats in your backpacks

me-oh no yeah go ahead.

cop-lotsa paint in here have you guys been huffin

me-hahahah huffin oh no man noway

cop-alright well we whada few breakins around here guys matched you description hooded shirts backpacks just checkin have a good night

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Guest fr8lover

a burly female cop was at a checkpoint at a party a couple years ago after it was broken up and she asked me "did you have anything to drink?" and "do you have any beer in the car?" and i was baked at the time so i simply said..


"no sir"

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hahaha...thats some swift shit right there



brick, brick ,brick...thats how i be up against your girlfriends ass...

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Guest imported_SecretAgentX9

"no that wasnt me"


it didnt work.

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cop: are there any illegal weapons or narcotics in the car?

jeff: uh....uh...i dont think...i mean....not that i know of.

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Guest WebsterUno

*I was shrooming, I got pulled out of a

backseat while cruising for not having a seatbelt on*

Cop-are you on COKE?


COP-Then why are your eyes spininng in circles

Me-Huh? What?! *i couldnt hear sound*

Cop-what are you on?


Cop-are you sure?

Me-ok, Im drunk.

Cop-see, thats all you had to say.

Heres your ticket! bye!


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i was pretty high

cop: come over here!

me: me (only one in sight)

cop: where you coming from?

me: cvs

Cop: what were you doing there?

me:... buying soda (empty handed)

cop:where you headed ?

me: home

cop: (shining light in my eyes) you been drinking tonight?

me: not (litteraly)

cop: are you alright?

me: yeah, im just nervous because you're putting pressure on me

cop:well we had a call come for tresspassing on the train tracks. you weren't out here with another guy were you?

me: no, i'm slone

cop:well you match one of the ids descriptions

me: oh, ... sorry?

first and hopefully last encounter with john law.

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Stupidest thing a cop has said to me.

COP: Did you just steal gas from Thortons?


COP:Are you sure?


COP:Where are you coming from (we were driving towards the gas station)

Me:The park

COP:What were you doing at the park?

Me:Skateboarding (we're covered with sweat and there's skateboard in the back seat)

COP:You sure?

Me: (looks back at skateboard and whipes sweat off my face)Yeah I'm pretty sure.

COP:OK. Just had to check. Thank you have a good day.

Me:You too.


[This message has been edited by ILOVESLAYER (edited 08-03-2001).]

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On rooftop that we just bombed to hell. WARNING http://www.12ozprophet.com/ubb//biggrin.gif'>O NOT HANG AROUND ON THE ROOFTOP YOU JUST BOMBED TO DRINK MORE BEER!

Cop http://www.12ozprophet.com/ubb//frown.gif'>shining flashlight on us) get off the roof.

Dumb gurl:it's too high up, i cant get down

Me:Well we really dont have a choice, DO WE!

Dumb gurl http://www.12ozprophet.com/ubb//frown.gif'>falls off roof)

about 4 of us get off the roof, leaving mucho evidence of beer and paint on roof.

Cop: what were you kids doing on the roof.

Me http://www.12ozprophet.com/ubb//frown.gif'>way too drunk) uhhhh....Drinking?

Cop:how did you kids get here?

Me:uhhhh, we drove in my friends car (as I point to my friends car, all the while im ditching caps and markers like a frantic idiot, dropping them in bushes and what not.)

Cop:well, you kids better make your way home, but your not taking the car.(still completely oblivious to me dropping shit, still oblivious to the graff on the roof)


Welcome to canada, where the cops really dont give a fuck about anything, unless you kill someone. Then you might get 4-5 years.

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I was climbing on a building at a college near me...

cop-whatcha doin?

me-I'm tryin' to get something...

cop-whatcha tryin to get

me-up there


he just laughed and told me to stop climbing around.



another time I was skating with my brother and his friend and a cop showed up...

the cop was asking my brother questions and my brother was being all shy.....soooooo I was all, "here, let me wind him up". I got behind him and pretended to wind him up like a toy....


I got tossed in the back of his car. I said some other dumb shit tryin to be funny also though I can't remember it. I even told him a diahrea joke that I can't remember anymore


I got a 75 dollar ticket

my brother and friend didn't get shit.


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this is when i was 4, and we went to the police station to get my bro's stolen bike back, and i grabbed this cops gun.


me: is that yours gun?

cop: oh oh oh! yep, don't touch though.

me: is that yours flashlight? are yous gonna hit me with yours flashlight?

cop:*loud chuckle* no no son.


well i dunno if that's all that stupid for a 4 year old, but it was funny. and it always makes me laugh.

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(in truck with 2 of my buddies, we stopped at the side of a road to look at some graff after we had just done 360's and shit in a parking lot)


Cops: Pull ovver

Us: (thinking) Son of a fuckin bitch!

Cops: do you know why we are pulling you

guys over?

Us..(driver): uhhhh the 360s we just pulled in that parking lot?(STUPID!)

Cops: uhh no??..but thank you well check into that.




the cop ended up finding paint and markers..took our sketchbooks and let us go.

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friend:can i see your gun?

cop:what did you say?

friend:i dont wanna touch it, just pull it out and show it to me

cop:that is the stupidest thing i ever heard, get the hell out of here

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about three weeks ago,me and some friends were jumping off of cliffs at the lake,and this cop is walking around the park. the cliffs are legal,but since it's a public park,you arent supposed to have alcohol. i was fairly drunk myself and getting paranoid and he saw me all tensed up and asked if i had been drinking,cuz he said i smelled like alcohol. i was all like "yea,a little". he asked how old. 16. he could tell i was uncomfortable. he looked at me all hard,and then he laughed and patted me on the back,and said i was okay. he told me he was drunk anyways,so it was cool.

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lol...these are funny...this whole thread reminds me of my car rules....whenever we were doing fr8s or driving to spots like a rooftop or something, the rule in my whip is always: NEVER TURN AND LOOK AT COPS....ive had more 'incidents' with 5-0 becasue when we roll past a cop, some one gets all nervous and makes eye contact with the cop, IMMEDIATELY letting the cop know that your are doing something shady. this is proven by the fact that normal people, like moms and little sisters and fratboys dont EVER notice cops...like, if your not ever involved in criminal type shit, and have never been fucked with by cops, you drive around totally oblivious....so the best way to seem innocent or harmelss is to laugh and talk and not even look at a cop. the more they notice you noticing them, the quicker they scoop you up. the WORST is is if they are behind you in a car...NEVER EVER turn your head around and look at them...thats an immediate lights-on move.


on another level, my experience is that the best way to get cops away is to act seriously shook...not guilty shook, but like scared and sorry shook. cops are basically bullies and they want to feel like they taught you a lesson or 'got you' NO cop wants to leave you feeling like you got over, like youre smiling or smirking...then they feel like you played them, and it fucks up the power trip. this story happened to me once in west philly- me and this cat were trying to do this day spot on like a sunday...you know, like, not a rep spot, but just somewhere to paint on a summer sunday....and we were pulling in the parking lot of this abandoned building, where you could easily break in and paint all the walls and shit inside....just to fuck around , you know....well, as were driving around the back, we turn the corner and theres a cop sitting there doing his paperwork, and im like, fuck!!!!! and we turn like smoothly around, like were just making a u turn, but straight up, there was NO reason to be back there...and , sure enough, as we are almost back to the street, i see the cop, lights blazing, FLYING after us.....shit. i pull over, and its like, we didnt DO anything, right, but my appraoch with cops is to still just be on their nuts, like yes officer, no officer, etc, you know? like, let them get their power trip and be out, right? wellll, my boy, was like on that straight edge "anti-establishment white boy" type shit, and hes like "what is the PROBLEM, officer???" with all this attitude and shit...and im like under my breath, like dude sshsut the fuck up...! like, its my car anyway, why are you even talking? but secondly, like why START shit? let the cop talk, and see if ihell just be chill before you go and get HIM pissed...but no, my boy is like this is FUCKIN BULLSHIT!! ....!!!

oh lord...that cop was like, you know what son, get out of the car....and we got out and the cop searched everything in my car, like everythign for an hour..they found our paint (i used to keep lots of paint in my trunk...) and they took it ALL....like ALL my cans i had racked for a month worths of spots...and they let us go, but theyr like, (to my boy) "you should learn from your friend, i was just gonna let you guys roll. we have a problem with prostitiutes coming back here, and i just had to make sure your IDs checked out....if you hadnt acted like a dick, i wouldve had no probbable cause to search the vehicle and, more importantly, i wouldnt have wanted to. have a nice day, picasso!"

...and so we got off that time (although i got locked up before with this cat) and hes like, fuck that cop man, you shouldnt have been all on his dick and shit! and im like, what?! dude i got all my paint jacked cause you thought you were like chuck D for a second....fuck outta here.

from then on, i made it a point to know that everyone on a mish has the same mind set when it comes to five-0. just some advice...cause you dont want to find out in handcuffs that your partenr has like issues with authority or keeping his mouth shut.......



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i wasnt there but my friends were going 75 on the freeway on ramp and get pulled over.

cop-have you been drinking tonight?


my friend driving-no(but he was high off his ass)


cop-can i search your truck?




cop finds beer in the back and asks whos is it.


driver-oh, it must be my friend's that i just dropped off


cop gives breathalizers anyway and they all pass eventhough theyve been drinking. puts a shirt over the beer and tell them to go home


if the cop would have opened the center console he would have found weed, pipe, ecstasy. they should have gotten a ticket for cerfew, speeding but didnt


i dont get away with shit


cop-you know who fast you were going?




cop-you were going 45 in a 30


me-30? are you fuckin serious?


cop-yup, all the way up and down. lisence, registration, and insurance please.


i need a radar detector bad.

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