I dunno. It's just not there like it used to be. I mean yeah, I think about it. But it's not enough to get me off my ass to go find it. Especially because I wouldn't know where to find it anymore. I mean, I'm sure I could sit outside the needle exchange or something. But even if I did that, I look so much better now... healthy weight, nice (enough) clothes, cleaned up... whoever I asked would probably just figure I'm a cop. Plus I quit before the fentanyl thing really took off, who knows what you're getting nowadays. People are getting blow and Xanax with fentanyl in it... like really?
One thing I've been struggling with though. I met this girl a while back that I've been seeing for the better part of a year. I never got around to telling her about my past. Sometimes I feel like I'm hiding something, other times it's like whatever... it's the past. I'm not trying to let the years I used define my whole life like "oh, I'm a now-clean heroin addict." Fuck all that, that's not my identity. At the same time it still feels like I should disclose. I don't know. She's pretty liberal on all social issues and I've told her I used to do drugs when I was younger, but I haven't gone into detail.
Anyways, enough of my shit and rambling. Protester, glad you're still sober and congrats on the anniversary. When the cravings hit if they still do, just remember you aren't missing anything.
And yeah, this life definitely has a type.