1. Welcome to the 12ozProphet Forum...
    You are currently logged out and viewing our forum as a guest which only allows limited access to our discussions, photos and other forum features. If you are a 12ozProphet Member please login to get the full experience.

    If you are not a 12ozProphet Member, please take a moment to register to gain full access to our website and all of its features. As a 12ozProphet Member you will be able to post comments, start discussions, communicate privately with other members and access members-only content. Registration is fast, simple and free, so join today and be a part of the largest and longest running Graffiti, Art, Style & Culture forum online.

    Please note, if you are a 12ozProphet Member and are locked out of your account, you can recover your account using the 'lost password' link in the login form. If you no longer have access to the email you registered with, please email us at info@12ozprophet.com and we'll help you recover your account. Welcome to the 12ozProphet Forum (and don't forget to follow @12ozprophet in Instagram)!

JESUS KILLS

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by Stapler, Aug 16, 2002.

  1. Stapler

    Stapler Guest

    JESUS KILLS

    Discussion started by Stapler - Aug 16, 2002

    Dashboard Jesus Kills Ohio Teen

    CINCINNATI (EAP) - A Cincinnati teenager was killed yesterday when her plastic Jesus dashboard figure was driven into her chest by her car's airbag which inflated during an accident involving two other vehicles.

    17-year-old Darlene Fulps of Cincinnati was apparently holding her Jesus figure close to her chest when she ran through a red light and collided with two other vehicles in a busy intersection.

    "The air bag inflated and pushed the head of Jesus straight through her heart," said Tom Young, medical examiner at the scene of the accident. "If it wasn't for the plastic Jesus, Ms. Fulps would still be alive today."

    "Air bags have saved thousands of lives, but in this case it actually took a life, thanks to Jesus," said police officer Graham Pryor, first officer at the scene.

    Robert Fulps, Darlene's father and devout Christian man said "It was just our daughter's time to go, and we can't question the actions of God. My daughter loved Jesus and worshipped Him, and I think she's probably talking to Him in heaven right now."

    "We gave our daughter the dashboard Jesus for her birthday last year, and she really liked it," said Mrs. Gladys Fulps. "It's too bad that Jesus ended up killing her, but we believe she's in heaven now, and we're happy for her, and hope to re-unite with her when we get to heaven."

    "We're just glad our daughter had Jesus in her heart when she died," said Mr. and Mrs. Fulps.
     
  2. jah

    jah 12oz Elite Member

    Joined:
    Dec 30, 2001
    Messages:
    2,705

    jah - Replied Aug 16, 2002

    shes with him now....

    rip
     
    jah - Rank: 12oz Elite Member - Messages:
    2,705
    - Joined:
    Dec 30, 2001
  3. Dirty_habiT

    Dirty_habiT Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2001
    Messages:
    18,054

    Dirty_habiT - Replied Aug 16, 2002

    That's sad. RIP.
     
    Dirty_habiT - Rank: Dirty Dozen Crew - Messages:
    18,054
    - Joined:
    Mar 8, 2001
  4. IM2LOW4YOU

    IM2LOW4YOU New Jack

    Joined:
    Jul 24, 2002
    Messages:
    50

    IM2LOW4YOU - Replied Aug 16, 2002

    Walk away me boys...

    wipe the golden tear from your mother dear,
    and raise whats left of the flag for me...
     
    IM2LOW4YOU - Rank: New Jack - Messages:
    50
    - Joined:
    Jul 24, 2002
  5. duffman

    duffman Guest

    duffman - Replied Aug 16, 2002

    thats horrible..
    rip
     
  6. dirtysicks

    dirtysicks 12oz Senior Member

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2001
    Messages:
    1,203

    dirtysicks - Replied Aug 16, 2002

    Thats a gill..........who remembers gills??? LOL
     
    dirtysicks - Rank: 12oz Senior Member - Messages:
    1,203
    - Joined:
    Jun 5, 2001
  7. imported_El Mamerro - Replied Aug 16, 2002

    Hahahahaha, holy fuck, that'd be ridiculous. Almost certainly not true, but if it ever happened... Beer,

    El Mamerro
     
  8. serpent of the light

    serpent of the light 12oz Member

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2001
    Messages:
    650

    serpent of the light - Replied Aug 16, 2002

    now i only read the first paragraph... but is it only me that thinks thats fucking hilarious??? the irony is beautiful. mm mm good.
     
    serpent of the light - Rank: 12oz Member - Messages:
    650
    - Joined:
    Sep 22, 2001
  9. ElectricitySucks

    ElectricitySucks 12oz Veteran Member

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2001
    Messages:
    6,395

    ElectricitySucks - Replied Aug 16, 2002

    for some reason the way that was written didnt seem true....is this just me?
     
    ElectricitySucks - Rank: 12oz Veteran Member - Messages:
    6,395
    - Joined:
    Jul 13, 2001
  10. REGULATOR

    REGULATOR 12oz Elite Member

    Joined:
    Sep 6, 2001
    Messages:
    3,383

    REGULATOR - Replied Aug 16, 2002

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHHAH
     
    REGULATOR - Rank: 12oz Elite Member - Messages:
    3,383
    - Joined:
    Sep 6, 2001
  11. Mr. Mang

    Mr. Mang 12oz Elite Member

    Joined:
    Feb 27, 2002
    Messages:
    2,901

    Mr. Mang - Replied Aug 16, 2002

    NO PUN INTENDED. HAH .. HAHAH .. HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA
     
    Mr. Mang - Rank: 12oz Elite Member - Messages:
    2,901
    - Joined:
    Feb 27, 2002
  12. Grandola

    Grandola 12oz Senior Member

    Joined:
    Jul 16, 2002
    Messages:
    1,773

    Grandola - Replied Aug 16, 2002

    jesus.
     
    Grandola - Rank: 12oz Senior Member - Messages:
    1,773
    - Joined:
    Jul 16, 2002
  13. suburbian bum

    suburbian bum 12oz Loyalist

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2001
    Messages:
    14,673

    suburbian bum - Replied Aug 16, 2002

    YOU FOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I BET THAT SHIT ISNT True. GIVE US A LINK.
     
    suburbian bum - Rank: 12oz Loyalist - Messages:
    14,673
    - Joined:
    Jan 30, 2001
  14. Wilt

    Wilt Guest

    Wilt - Replied Aug 16, 2002

    im sorry....im no fan of religion...didn't "moses" say you can't worship false idols?hmmmmm...interesting...well...if she was such a devout christian why is she doing the wrong thing by running red lights?and why the fuck was she holding some doll to her chest while driving?whatever...
     
  15. juggernaut

    juggernaut 12oz Member

    Joined:
    Nov 12, 2001
    Messages:
    414

    juggernaut - Replied Aug 16, 2002

    haaa!!! where'd you get that? sounds like some grade-A onion journalism to me.

    anybody else read survivor"? Tender Branson bobble-headed dashboard doll to the brain. Jesus is more blatanly funny, though.
     
    juggernaut - Rank: 12oz Member - Messages:
    414
    - Joined:
    Nov 12, 2001