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i was just joking..

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by mapo returns, Oct 31, 2003.

  1. mapo returns

    mapo returns 12oz Member

    Joined: May 4, 2003 Messages: 687 Likes Received: 0
    so im at eckerds buying a sobe drink and a pack of newports. i notice the cash register lady is named olga. for real.
    some 50 year old woman gets behind me in line buying halloween candy.
    she is dressed like a cat, with her costume showing off her huge, obviously fake tits, and sun-drenched body. the the following ensues..

    me - 'do you have razor blades?'
    olga - 'yeah theyre over there....blah blah'
    me - 'im gonna put them in the halloween candy'

    olgas' jaw literally drops without even a hint of a smile.

    me - 'i was only joking..'
    catwoman - 'thats not even something to joke about'
    me - 'yeah it is!'

    another recent one was when i went to the mall and at a calendar kiosk was some redhead girl sitting down. i asked her if she had any 'columbine calendars'. she just shook her head no, emotionless.
    then i said 'that was a joke'. then she shook her head yes, emotionless.
    i think she was a robot.

    anyone got some similar stories of when someone didnt get the joke?
     
  2. fatbastard

    fatbastard 12oz Elite Member

    Joined: Jun 30, 2002 Messages: 2,879 Likes Received: 9
    this lady who worked at this store was selling some ribbons to help people with mental illness and i go to her "i used to be a schitzophrenic, but we're ok now"
    they looked at me puzzled. needless to say i didnt buy her stupid ribbon.
     
  3. GamblersGrin

    GamblersGrin 12oz Elite Member

    Joined: Sep 24, 2003 Messages: 3,243 Likes Received: 16
    on some website a while ago i seen this dope t-shirt that was the "classroom shooting tour" or something to that effect. it was like a bands tour shirt. on the back it had listed all the school shootings across the u.s. of a. and listed the date, city of shooting, and how many dead and/or wounded. such a great idea for a shirt it is.
     
  4. i11igul

    i11igul 12oz Senior Member

    Joined: Jun 5, 2003 Messages: 1,810 Likes Received: 0
    ohhhhh, ouch, thats low,
    please beleeeive id cop 2 or 3
     
  5. Telo

    Telo 12oz Elite Member

    Joined: Jun 3, 2003 Messages: 4,162 Likes Received: 37
    LMFAO... i went to a local party store and asked if they had any Shells.. i was like.. "do yuou have any bullets? im trying to snipe your customers before they walk in".. he got real weirded out and i told him it was a joke.. he threw my change at me and told me to leave.. ahhh good times.
     
  6. mapo returns

    mapo returns 12oz Member

    Joined: May 4, 2003 Messages: 687 Likes Received: 0
    haha

    i actually liked that shirt so much i remembered it too, coincidentally. it was at tshirthell.com

    i thought of another one

    i was at wal mart and the lady asked me if i wanted to spend $5 for some charity for cancer kids.
    i told her, 'i hate kids'. all the people in line liked that one though.
     
  7. old*824

    old*824 12oz Senior Member

    Joined: Jun 8, 2003 Messages: 1,362 Likes Received: 0
    thats funny mapo.

    watch out though, under the patriot act they could prolly classify you as a terrorist and incarcerate you with no trial indefinitley.
     
  8. Overtime

    Overtime Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Apr 22, 2003 Messages: 13,986 Likes Received: 311
    a friend of mine was working at stein mart, and there when you pay with a credit card, they need 2 forms of id.
    this lady was giving my friend "guff", and was all "why do you need to see 2 damn form of id's??" my friend said "its cuz you are black" meanin it as a joke, but she got written up anyway

    there are 2 eckerds in my town, and i work as a pharm. tech. at one, and i went to work up the street one day, and i went up front to purchase a beverage, well, i put my drink on the counter and i said "remember im an employee"
    her: "can i see your id"
    i look, dumbstruck, thinking this is a joke, well, as it turns out, she was being dead serious, and although i was wearing the eckerd outfit and my name tag and what not, she really did want to see my employee card.

    after putting my story on paper, and reading yours, i think that olga and barbara are sisters or cousins. retards are everywhere
     
  9. Milton

    Milton 12oz Senior Member

    Joined: May 21, 2003 Messages: 2,253 Likes Received: 0
    I get this shit too much, I always say shit from movies, and then if the person doesn't laugh so I assume they haven't seen it, but 9 times out of 10 they have. For instance:

    Some chick: You're funny
    Me: Funny how? Funny like a clown, like I'm here to entertain you.
    Her: Looks all hurt, no no I mean, I just..
    Me: I was kidding, have you seen Goodfellas?
    Her: Ya I love that movie.
    Me: Oh ya me too.

    Girl I know calls me to ask me to buy calenders or cookies or something from her brother/sister/younger sibling's school.

    Her: Hey, whats up?
    Me: Not much...
    Her: Do you wanna buy some Cookies/Calenders/books/wrapping paper from my sisters/brother/etc.'s school.
    Me: I'm not interested.
    Her: Thanks anyway, so whats new with you?
    Me: You call that a sales call? You are trying to sell me something... blah blah blah, the whole telemarketer scene from Boiler Room.
    Her: Well okay, um lets see, they're really good stuff and it helps support the school...
    Me: No no no, it was a joke from Boiler Room, have you seen it?
    Her: Ohhh ya, with Vin Diesel right, I've seen it a few times.
     
  10. GamblersGrin

    GamblersGrin 12oz Elite Member

    Joined: Sep 24, 2003 Messages: 3,243 Likes Received: 16
    if i worked closed to pharmaceuticals i'd be like how i am now, on valiums and vodka/cranberry. edit that...the perc's (percocets) of life.
     
  11. Overtime

    Overtime Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Apr 22, 2003 Messages: 13,986 Likes Received: 311
    you killin them diazepams?
     
  12. GamblersGrin

    GamblersGrin 12oz Elite Member

    Joined: Sep 24, 2003 Messages: 3,243 Likes Received: 16
    but what i hate is i take 2 two days ago, try to clear me body out, take 2 tonite and am almost there. ive one left but its almost throwin it away at his point. damn tolerances keepin a man down.
     
  13. Gunm

    Gunm Banned

    Joined: Aug 31, 2003 Messages: 12,427 Likes Received: 1
    I screamed "fire" in a crowded theater once.
     
  14. Overtime

    Overtime Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Apr 22, 2003 Messages: 13,986 Likes Received: 311
    haha, you know that is illegal
     
  15. »§ÜGÅR«

    »§ÜGÅR« 12oz Senior Member

    Joined: Aug 16, 2003 Messages: 1,519 Likes Received: 0
    you're all going to hell.

    good luck!
     
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