DretheGod Posted August 16, 2010 Share Posted August 16, 2010 -random dude/chick at social gathering talking about 151 or any other outrageously strong alcohol... "i got SUPER fucked off everclear one time and almost died, fucking went to the hospital and got my stomach pumped." -bystanders and what not "wow, thats gnarly, i never had alcohol poisoning but i've come close." -Me (cause i always gotta be on the one up in public) "oh SHIT, Bacardi 151 is CRAAAAZY yo, my old college roomate and i copped a bottle of that and deaded it on the way to see a fucking Rob Base show.(it takes two to make a thing go riiiight) i woke up the next morning covered in piss and puke with grass stains all over my shirt. the last thing i remember is being dragged out of the spot for pissing on a bright red carpet in vip while my buddy was stealing champagne from rob bases table. apparently he thought we are fucking hilarious and ended up giving us a ride home. i don't really remember any of that shit but i know i was como-tose sick for a whole week after. i puked so much that morning night the RA later threatened to have us both removed. RA??? Somebody went to college. Props. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Knee Grow Please Posted August 16, 2010 Share Posted August 16, 2010 one time i painted rap letters and thought it was phat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MayorMeanBeans Posted August 16, 2010 Share Posted August 16, 2010 4 years ago i got tricked into having a threesome with an ex and her friend. thought i was going to her house to have break-up sex before i left college for spring break. threw me on the bed and the naked friend's knee blasted me in the spine. two girls were giving me head before i had time to get angry. made a thread about it on 12oz the next day about it, but got no props cuz i hadn't peed in butts or taken any pictures. 12oz is a player hater's ball, always. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*PROTOCOL* Posted August 16, 2010 Share Posted August 16, 2010 I lost my virginity to 2 girls who were cousins (not mine, related to each other), while tripping on green gel tabs. I wanted to fuck one but she wasn't that into me, while another wanted to fuck me but I wasn't into her, so she talked her cousin into fucking me with her so everyone could get theirs. They basically abducted me and took me into the basement and had their way with me. After a while my homie came down with a terminator mask on, like half a robot face with torn off flesh and a red eye and started fucking them too. Being really high on acid thats when I'd decided I had enough. I went back upstairs and all my friends started cheering and clapping. It was one of the greatest days of my life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inappropriate_Responder Posted August 16, 2010 Share Posted August 16, 2010 i just got my first time homeowners check in the mail.... now WHAT!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soup Posted August 16, 2010 Share Posted August 16, 2010 I dont have many stories to my name, so if you know me AT ALL you've definitely heard these before. When I was 17 I stole my dad's Z3 covered it in cardboard and made it into a giant "will work for gas" sign then drove it around town taking photos of people's reactions. The whole thing was far too artsy for me so I said fuck it and decided to go race it around, with the cardboard still on. Eventually we were on Redwood road in the amazingly twisty Oakland backwoods heading towards Castro valley. On that fateful day there had been no oncoming cars so I was flooring it 100+ mph, apexing each left turn in the other lane. Lo and behold, around a blind turn comes an oncoming cop car. We missed the cop by inches and were so far out of sight within a half second that i just said fuck it and kept going as fast as I can, till i remembered up the road by a mile was castro valley's CHP station. My car, being covered in cardboard wouldnt be too hard to identify so I made a quick turn up a gravel road into a shooting range. We tried tucking the car behind various bushes and shit but nothing really hid it well enough from the road, so we decided to turn around and get back on the road. Right when we decided to do that I hear a "WHOOP WHOOP" and lights in the rear view. The cop had finally caught up with us. After talking to the cop for an hour he let us go. Likely because he knew my dad was going to beat my ass and that was punishment enough. I asked him how he found us. He said when we took the gravel road we must've taken it pretty fast since we kicked up a fucking hell of a dust cloud. This story would be really fucking cool, but it's not EXACTLY how it happened. Truth be told I balled my eyes out to the cop and he let us go. Hahah. Me = shameless Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Realism Posted August 16, 2010 Share Posted August 16, 2010 Insert joke about Soup wanting to be Asian and comparing his story to a horrible "Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift" knockoff here Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*PROTOCOL* Posted August 16, 2010 Share Posted August 16, 2010 One time we were at a red light in my friends van and some wigger pulled up next to us and started throwing up gang signs and staring us down. My friend, who was a brutal death metal sort of kid (the same one with a terminator mask in previous story) jumps out of the van with a tire iron, yells something about wigger guy being a pussy and proceeds to break all his windows out while the light was still red. Dude was shocked, but got his wits together and tried attacking us inside the van, only to get booted in the face and dropped. light turns green and we speed off. Luckily no one took the plates down because my friend whos car it was never heard anything about it and I'm sure there were a bunch of witnesses. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T_R_O_N Posted August 16, 2010 Share Posted August 16, 2010 But it's how I (you) remembered it, so the shit is hilarious and/or interesting. Thread for your favorite bullshit/exaggerated stories you pull out socially because you have an art to your storyteilling. (or you think you do). one of mine... THE NICKEL BAG Was at the mall in the Washington DC area & I was with my best friend at the time & a girl I liked but she didn't like me back (fucking friend zone), but we were really good friends type shit. Anyway we were like 14 or 15 years old, haning out at the arcade, playing Street Fighter II, (I was always Ken) & the mall Street fighter master showed up & kicked my ass like 9 games straight with Ryu, so it was extra embarrassing, especially since I was trying to get my hands on this girls tits that was with me. $3.75 later we bounced from the arcade, & on the way out I saw "Jay" (the wigger kid that always has the Raiders Starter jacket & matching cap, halfassed drug dealer.. You had one I'm sure... They would sometimes shave their beard to that super thin line that perfectly followed their jawline type motherfucker), so he has some weed & "we" buy a nickel bag from him. He hands it to me it's wrapped in foil & we get it back to my place to smoke. I construct a bong with a empty Scope bottle, the tube of a Bic pen & a socket out of my dad's toolbox & start huffing this shit down. Shit turned into a cartoon, we were losing our minds, & I figured out that we had just smoked weed that was drenched in PCP. After about the first 5 minutes we started having alot of fun. Felt invinsible, visuals were nuts & I got to hold hands with the coolest, hottest chick while walking through to woods- out of our minds on angel dust. We got married in 2004 & are happily married to this day. My advice, try PCP. But on accident... so hold up.... you drugged a broad and she became your wife? very classy sir. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MedicineCabinet Posted August 16, 2010 Share Posted August 16, 2010 yo! MTV courtships Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bojangles Posted August 17, 2010 Share Posted August 17, 2010 I really hope History Of Violence is a broad. Your posts are only acceptable if you have a cooter. If not, you kinda' fruity nignog. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Realism Posted August 17, 2010 Share Posted August 17, 2010 Then it would be a lesbian marriage :naughty: But that's not the case. This board's luck isn't that good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cool_Hand Posted August 17, 2010 Share Posted August 17, 2010 I shot a 12 gauge slug through somebodys truck once. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enmity Posted August 17, 2010 Share Posted August 17, 2010 shit a nickle bag laced with pcp sounds like a win win situation Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GucciCondom Posted August 17, 2010 Share Posted August 17, 2010 I'da been running through the woods naked kicking trees over and rambling about being a "golden god." Also, I can't think of any exaggerated stories at the moment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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