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TEAM ALPO


Mauler5150

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So here is the deal fellow Alconaut's weird situation oner...

 

P.S. Cliffnotes will be at the bottom...for you kids who cant read good...

 

Peep it Mauler my situation kinda turned into yours it was the first thing I thought of anyways. So I am gonna use Mate, caio, no worries and kangaroos as much as possible...

 

CHAPTER 1 THE SET UP

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So I go out with my roomate and her friend nicole on saturday. We go chill at the bar to grab a pint calm night no worries. My roomate says "hey we are going to be meeting up with my sister (aka my ex who now has a boyfriend of 3 years) later tonight. She is out with her ghetto friends and doesnt want to chill all night with them." So we go out I am pounding the Ayebee's (c/no homo) like a mother fucker. My roomate gets a call to go meet her sister at this ghetto ass bar. FUCKING REEEEALLLY GHETTO! We pull up to go inside there are all of these browns that the kangaroos were about to punch...and the cover was $10 fuck that.

 

We go to this vegimite shop (aka pizza) grab to grab a bite while we wait. So in line her sister walks in I am sitting there then turn around. Her eyes light up she jumps on my like "ZOMG PSALM JUAN!! I DIDNT KNOW YOU WERE COMING ON MY FACE" (ok she didnt say on my face I was just paraphrasing) She is hugging me kissing my face the whole time in there like ZOMG... So whatever we go out me and her are having the most amazing time cutting on people and shit just like old times but better.

 

So her my roomate and her mate go to use the lou and leave us alone. I buy her an Ayebee as I am waiting for our drinks she is going down the back of my pants and ish I am like alright interesting? Then she reaches around and grabs teh junk... I am just laughing like awesome. So I grab the drinks and she is talking to my roomate about stupid stuff and my roomate bounces.

 

So its a lull in the convo between us we were just staring at each other big smiles on our faces. So I say fuck it I lean in give her a little kiss on the lips real innocent like. She jumps back laughing like. "Juan my nigga! YOU CANT DO THAT I HAVE A BOYFRIEND" I am just like "What are you talking about!? What did I do?!" So she is like "This and leans in kisses me and I kiss her back. She is like, "HEY! I DIDNT KISS YOU BACK!!!" Just laughing.

 

We go up stairs to do some of teh dance (minus teh graffzorz...I had good jeans on I leave the marker a home). We are dancing I am doing my best elaine impression when I am just like yo I gotta bounce that vagimite pizza is doing a # on my innerds... So I peace out she stays up and chills with her sister...

 

CHAPTER 2 THE NEXT DAY

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So I am home happy as a clam I write this girl a text like "yo peep it bitch it was made fun chillin witch you yadadidmean its cool I gost sumbodies I can kick it wit when I be getting mad faded peace hoe!" She writes me back "Werd true dat" so whatever I go on my merry way.

 

CHAPTER 3 THE DAY AFTER THAT

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I call her up I am bored as hell. I am like " Yo you wanna come over and rent a movie play some stragego or scattergories I got jenga and scrabble too" She is like "haha I cant I just got broken up with and I think kicked out of my house."

 

I call and am like "ORLY?"

 

She is like YARLY. This dude Chad yes Chad (if you are born and your parents name you Chad your ass is pretty much destined to be a total dick) was like why dont you move in with me?

 

Now since she was in Spain she has been like yea the kid isnt that much fun he doenst do fun stuff seems kinda bland but he does things for me like bring me to work and other stuff. Anytime I do anything or make stupid jokes or do something slightly imature he goes "Your disrespecting me.." I know nerddom...

 

So the dude is like WHAT!? YOU DONT WANT TO MOVE IN WITH ME!? FIRST YOU GO OFF TO SPAIN (which was a once and a lifetime chance for her to go and study abroad which she wasnt going to do until I stepped in and was like You are fucking stupid if you dont go.) AND YOU LEAVE ME. NOW I WANT TO GET SERIOUS AND SETTLE DOWN AND YOU DONT WANT TO DO IT. WTF I AM DONE WITH THIS. (mind you this girl is 21 years old hell no she dont want to settle down she wants to have fun)

 

Then she gets in fight with moms and is like I am going to live with her sister (aka my roomate) now she is looking at that option and her own apt. Weird situation but its got my brain shook.

 

I wanna date this girl wicked bad again she is like the perfect girl for me. We sit chill make fun of people constantly it was an awesome relationship for 3 years when i was li but I started playing too many shows she was underage couldnt come it got hectic and broke off. But now I play very little she is 21...I dunno I wanna get back and do all this shit wicked fast but I am holding myself to sit back and chill in the cut until the time is right. Hopefully this dude Chad doesnt get her emo but I dont think he will she seemed kinda relived about the whole situation not in tears about it...I am hopeful...

 

Cliffnotes to come in a min...

 

I went to the bar

got faded

met up with my ex

had a good time

she reached in my pants

we kissed

 

she broke up with her BF

she is moving out her house

she might move in with hersister (aka my roomate) or get her own place

 

I am tryng to get back on it I think but chilling in the cut...

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Hmm difficult scenario.

Why did 'Chad' break up with her? Was she messing around and she got caught?

Once a cheater, always a cheater mang.

But I can put money on her moving in with you, something happening between you and her, and then I don't know.

 

Just know Team Alco is here for your drunken rants if it all goes wrong bud!!

 

In other news, it was my uncles birthday today, and I didn't get to go to tea for some reason, but my Dad came back with a trem-setter for my guitar!! Once it is installed, i will be divebombing without losing my tuning like a crazed mofo!! Hopefully my worn poststubs shouldn't affect the install too much, ahhaa.

 

(that last part won't make sense to anyone who doesn't play guitar)

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Yea Chad broke up with her because she didnt want to move in with him. She doesnt want to settle down so young and shit she wants to live this dude is all about like yea do this get married all this shit NOW! Not because of cheating. She was calling me all the time when she was in spain. I was #1 drunk dial she was always like how she loved me had so much fun chad was boring but her parents like him.

 

She wants to travel with me. She said that she wants me to go with her to Europe with ehr this winter because when she thought about people to go with I was the only person who would try everything that came in front of us wouldnt be gay scared and shit.

 

Who knows if she will move in I am betting on a big fat no dice. She knows I got a futon her for her if she wishes. She stayed over last week so her sister could bring her to work. She came in and layed in my bed with me early in the morning before she left...

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I seen my ex and er new boyfriend tonight at soenm fireworks shit I n tehor town...I wlaekd up and grabbed her ass, she said somrthin and he told her to jus clam down haha

 

Af5ter the shit was over I tired to fight him, but his biy who I beat up the other night got a cop afgter me. Buy the time the cops let me go she and him were gone, but I caught the snitch again and we were bout to scrap when the cops grabbwed me AGAIN....I have no fuckin cluye how I'm not in jaoil righ thow

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Just got home... Fucking wasted as fuck last night... Crashed(slept) in my car, so as not to drive drunk... Wake up at six something in the morning to see my two bartenders barely leaving... Haha.. A female and male who said nothing was going on.. My car is not too comfortable, but jail I'm sure is worse..

 

StilldrunkOnerStatus..

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I thought fuck going out after last nights free beers I was provided with, so I stayed in with a bottle of wine and am gonna watch the new Die Hard again. Plus everyone else is staying in watching mocies with their women as the weather is shit.

 

/boringalcooner

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didn't eat all of yesterday, then went out to drink around 9ish had like 5-6 Dos X all fast i was drunk. then had another 6 and smoked a blunt, i got home at 3am and knocked out(fell asleep) on my cell phone and hand.

 

at my friends there was some hot ass breezy there chillin with me on the couch but this bitch was watching Nip Tuck that show is all kinds of fucked up. some dude got sodomized then his face cut, and went to get all fixed up. so it was kinda awkward i didn't wanna watch the show but i still wanted to kick it with her. lol

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Just got home... Fucking wasted as fuck last night... Crashed(slept) in my car, so as not to drive drunk... Wake up at six something in the morning to see my two bartenders barely leaving... Haha.. A female and male who said nothing was going on.. My car is not too comfortable, but jail I'm sure is worse..

 

StilldrunkOnerStatus..

 

my friend got a DUI for sleeping in his car while drunk, shit was fucked up that cop did him dirty.

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I'm drunk... I went to some seedy ass bar in Down Town Los Angeles.. Crack deals at the bar and all that.. People with diseases that aren't recorded in the annals of human history.. There were hunch backs, freaks of nature and the lurid..

 

True story..

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