Guest sneak Posted July 28, 2003 Share Posted July 28, 2003 ive had a poem published when i was a young un, and ive had 3 big articles published in national magazines... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
space base Posted July 28, 2003 Share Posted July 28, 2003 when I was in juvie they had these poetry books of poems writtn by convicts. that poem reminds me of this..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pistol Posted July 28, 2003 Share Posted July 28, 2003 Once again I've said it before and I'll say it again since you [posted it again. It sounds like some regurgitated 2pac lyrics. Coming from someone that actually lived an interesting life that told of a struggle or pain that they overcame. But I mean come on you live in the burbs of TX. And you went away to some college town like Austin to go to school. What kinda struggle and pain and what story should "they" tell? About a bad hazing incident at the frat house? wigga please Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yoink Posted July 28, 2003 Share Posted July 28, 2003 buahaha!! this thread has offered me a healthy dose of funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vlad Posted July 28, 2003 Share Posted July 28, 2003 Originally posted by yoink buahaha!! this thread has offered me a healthy dose of funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GnomeToys Posted July 28, 2003 Share Posted July 28, 2003 The subtle literary devices employed in that poetry were nothing short of amazing. Here's my contribution to the world of poetry: I WISH I HAD A DICKCLIT, I'D RUB IT ALL THE TIME, PUT IT IN A BOX COVERED WITH LOCKS, YOU COULD SEE IT FOR A DIME Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rodney Trotter Posted July 28, 2003 Share Posted July 28, 2003 Here, I've written a poem too... Tease, you are a big fucking dumb cunt But this thread had me laughing 'till there were tears in my eyes And my adams apple hurt So thumbs up You dumb cunt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crave Posted July 28, 2003 Share Posted July 28, 2003 ^^i like that one. *edit: the one above the one directly above this post. thanks for playing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rodney Trotter Posted July 28, 2003 Share Posted July 28, 2003 What about mine? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mapo returns Posted July 28, 2003 Share Posted July 28, 2003 I thought the poem was good. Granted, I dont know shit about poetry. Probation? WTF? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mr_president Posted July 28, 2003 Author Share Posted July 28, 2003 Originally posted by Pistol Once again I've said it before and I'll say it again since you [posted it again. It sounds like some regurgitated 2pac lyrics. Coming from someone that actually lived an interesting life that told of a struggle or pain that they overcame. But I mean come on you live in the burbs of TX. And you went away to some college town like Austin to go to school. What kinda struggle and pain and what story should "they" tell? About a bad hazing incident at the frat house? wigga please they're not "2pac lryics" ya dumbass, and the shit ive been through, you dont have to live in the ghetto to go through, and quit acting like you fucking know me pistol... i didnt come up in a gated community or goto a college in austin... nor am i a frat guy. your stupid bitch ass is like 25 still living with your moms... so shut the fuck up, youre a even bigger loser than me! :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mr_president Posted July 28, 2003 Author Share Posted July 28, 2003 Re: Here, I've written a poem too... Originally posted by Rodney Trotter Tease, you are a big fucking dumb cunt But this thread had me laughing 'till there were tears in my eyes And my adams apple hurt So thumbs up You dumb cunt roddney trotter i bet youre a toy you look like a bitch but youre really a boy you like big dick stuck in your ass thats why it smells like burnt rubber when you pass gas i bet you are gay and dont even know it and the way you act everyone knows it you like dick more than your mother keep talking shit and ill give you a brother... :lol: FUCK YOU! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vlad Posted July 28, 2003 Share Posted July 28, 2003 Hilarious Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seeking Posted July 28, 2003 Share Posted July 28, 2003 yall are fucking pathetic....every one of you has written some sad ass excuse for 'poetry' or some similar self serving bullshit in your life, yet you wanna jump all over dude cause he's honest about it. there isnt a single one of you with enough balls to post something you've written and stand up to the criticism it would bring. ill clown dude when deserved, but ill also stick up for him when its not. the notion of him being published is admittidly pretty ridiculous, but tht doesnt mean you all should gang up on him, curb stomping till his intestines spill from his chest. you're just trying to show how 'funny' you can be by picking on the easiest target in the world. its shooting fish in a barell. tease, as much as you dont want to hear it, pistol nailed it; it sounds like some second rate 2pac knock off shit. it's exactly what you would expect from someone in your life position. unfortunitly, no one really wants to hear that, and perhaps the few people that could relate to it, would never pick up a book of poetry in order to find it. if writing is something you trully care about, then you need to work at it. you need to read more, and as stated, you need to learn how to write. you might not know it, but there are 'rules' of poetry and prose, and while it is possible to break them and still write compellingly, its not done often. if you're serious, get a journal and write atleast a page every day. get used to describing your feelings and situations and learn to paint a picture with words that other people can not only see and recognize as familiar, but also find some sort of emotional attachment to. ..good luck... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mr_president Posted July 28, 2003 Author Share Posted July 28, 2003 good looking seeking... however, when these people say its "wigger this and that" or 2pac lyrics bla bla bla, im getting the feeling you are acting like what i said has to do with black people or black culture... and thats stupid... im going to break the poem down how i see it, and the meaning behind it... WHEN I DIE TELL THE TRUTH ^^ i hate when people die, how people will talk about them at the funeral and lie about them, say they were good people and so on, when im gone, just tell the truth, dont make me up to be something im not ya know? if i was an asshole, im an asshole.... so be it. TELL MY STORY TO THE YOUTH ^^ not like my life is a great example or anything, but i believe in helping others, especially those that are younger, so if they can learn from my mistakes id like to help them out... LET MY ACTIONS BE MY VOICE ^^ like i said above, if i did it, i did it, i take responsibility for my actions, instead of talking about it be about it, let my actions speak for me... YES OR NO ITS MY CHOICE ^^ its my choice, i either did it or i didnt, i can live with my choices, hate people who dont take responsibility for their actions. i can stand beside my decisions wrong or right. LIVE AND LEARN FROM MY MISTAKES ^^ ive learned a lot from mistakes ive made, some of the best life lessons followed a big mistake. nothing wrong with that... I WILL DO WHATEVER IT TAKES ^^ im not going to give up, no matter what i say... LIVE TO DIE BUT STAY ALIVE ^^ this is my philosphy on life, we're all going to die, and thats like the struggle to survive until death... THIS IS THE STORY OF MY LIFE... ^^ the conclusion to my philosophies and beliefs... what is so 2pac like or ghetto about that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GnomeToys Posted July 28, 2003 Share Posted July 28, 2003 :crazy: BEAT HIS ASS WITH A HOCKEY STICK SMOKE SOME CRANK AND PUNCH HIM IN THE DICK I GUARANTEE YOU'LL GET A KICK OUT OF BEATING HIM UP WITH A SILICONE PRICK --------------------------------------- now sit down my lad and you'll hear a song, that I loathe to sing though must carry on, so you may tell your devil spawn, of years now past and summers long. upon a night so dark and grey, a babe was born upon the hay, and though she wasn't here to stay, her parents loved her anyway. and so it came one day I had a seat, next to a mother with babe upon her teat, said I, "gee miss, your teat is awful neat", "but tis your babe I'd rather eat" so I dids't slap that bitch and grab her kid, and ran so far and then I hid, from this angry mom who'd flipped her lid, until exhausted herself she did, now young timmy home I brought, and prepared my favorite cooking pot, long and hard on spices I thought, till I felt that soon I must be shot. and now the finest flavour was devised, i looked at young timmy, the fear in his eyes, betrayed his youth, so the hammer I applied, until his tiny brain did die now you may think this cruel: I did too, your thoughts drift to the young child I slew, its not that I am better than you, its just dead babies taste great in a stew. -partial Forward from the upcoming cookbook, 101 Ways to Cook Dead Babies, coming soon from GnomeToys Inc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NOUM Posted July 28, 2003 Share Posted July 28, 2003 http://www.comicsetc.com/images/th2_23818933.jpg'> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seeking Posted July 28, 2003 Share Posted July 28, 2003 tease, its not that we didnt get it, it's that it's some 9th grade poetry shit. im not trying to be a dick, but its just not that good. its not simple enough to be elementary yet genius, and not complex enough to be intellectually stimulating. honestly, its just run of the mill. i dont say that to be a dick, its just the truth from a literary perspective. you really need to work on accepting peoples opinions. you seem to think that somehow you're in a better position to judge, than others, who are far more knowledgable, or have a better understanding of a situation. accept that you just dont really know, and work with those people that are trying to help you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mr_president Posted July 28, 2003 Author Share Posted July 28, 2003 seeking, i have no problem with what youre saying to me about the poem... i agree, its not that great. but i didnt make this thread intially about just that poem, i was curious in general about how you would go about getting shit published. it just aggrivates me how people do critisize that poem and say all this shit about it thats wack, but whatever, i like it. but like i said i was really wondering in general about getting published not just with that poem. publishing books you wrote, as well as poems. im not going against you at all... got me? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 28, 2003 Share Posted July 28, 2003 Re: Re: Here, I've written a poem too... Originally posted by mr_president i bet you are gay and dont even know it and the way you act everyone knows it I like the way you rhymed 'know it' with 'knows it'. dont worry teaser... just do what seeking said. Start writing every single day and then maybe something nice will end up on paper. And what's your motivation to get published? Is it so you can see your name on the page and show it to some girl or are you actually interested in writing. Just like everything else around here... are you in it for the act or the credit? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seeking Posted July 28, 2003 Share Posted July 28, 2003 if you dont have the first idea how to get published, then obviously you arent ready to be published. however, in the name of ending the insipid conversation, you get published by sending mnuscripts into publishers. it's like shopping a 'demo' if your a musician. you print up a copy of your book, poem, whatever, send it with a little bio sheet to publishing houses. they either read it, or throw it away, and you just keep doing that over and over. you've of course got a much better shot at getting publihsed in a magazine than in a book, but whatever, go for what you know. once you have a little name for yourself, and know people in the 'industry' you'll start getting solicted to write things. thats a bit down the road though, for now id practice on sentence structure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mr_president Posted July 28, 2003 Author Share Posted July 28, 2003 Originally posted by Kilo7- And what's your motivation to get published? Is it so you can see your name on the page and show it to some girl or are you actually interested in writing. Just like everything else around here... are you in it for the act or the credit? its just something i think would be cool to do. i have a lot of goals like that, id like to write a book one day, not sure about what, get a poem published, and even write a screenplay for a movie someday. im not trying to be a writer career wise, those are more like some hobby goals i will do before i die. dont downplay my goals/dreams by asking me if im going to show them to some girl to get pussy, thats not my motivation... have some respect. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dick Quickwood Posted July 29, 2003 Share Posted July 29, 2003 ahahahaha tease is like the little kid that finds new hobbies to do, gets his mother to spend money on them, and quits after a week. the poem sounds like whoever wrote it was in prison at the time. tease what exactly have you 'gone through', other than being ridiculed on an internet forum ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mr_president Posted July 29, 2003 Author Share Posted July 29, 2003 Originally posted by ARCEL ahahahaha tease is like the little kid that finds new hobbies to do, gets his mother to spend money on them, and quits after a week. the poem sounds like whoever wrote it was in prison at the time. tease what exactly have you 'gone through', other than being ridiculed on an internet forum ? my parents dont pay for all my hobbies, and im not some snobby ass kid. quit pretending like you know me. i know you have some fascination with me, but the truth is you only know what i tell you. so quit being stupid. ive gone through life, like everyone else has, seen shit like anyone else has, im not saying ive been shot or delt drugs you stupid fuck, everyone has problems and shit wrong in their lives. you act like im over here screaming out thug life and repping for the ghetto, im not, youre just making it seem that way... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dick Quickwood Posted July 29, 2003 Share Posted July 29, 2003 hahaha something about that reply was funny Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fugazi Posted July 29, 2003 Share Posted July 29, 2003 There are a few basic problems with mediocre poems: 1. Usually it's the same trite AABBAA or ABABAB rhyme pattern that second graders love. 2. Usually the poem means much more to the poet then it does to Joe Public. I'm sure if we could be inside your head and had EXPERIENCED (rather than just been told) about your past experiences, it would have a much deeper meaning. 3. If you ever want to be a famous poet like Frost or whoever else, you need to seriously hit the books and learn to critique yourself. A brush-up class on English might not hurt either. Read poems by the great poets; learn what seperates the run-of-the-mill from the best. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seeking Posted July 29, 2003 Share Posted July 29, 2003 yeah, tease is interested in a bunch of different shit that goes against the idea you have of him. haha, really funny. tease, your such a fag, you wanna write things. yer a fag. words are gay. blah, blah, blah. at first its funny, but if you continuiously beat a dead horse, you just wind up with shit all over yourself. dude says plenty of valid things to clown, quit picking apart the genuine things he says simply because you know that you can put 'wigger' in the sentence and it will make you laugh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dick Quickwood Posted July 29, 2003 Share Posted July 29, 2003 http://www.frontline-figures.com/crimeanb/light/pao9.gif'> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NOBODY Posted July 29, 2003 Share Posted July 29, 2003 i feel bad for the guy because everything he sais gets quoted and laughed at.i mean sure he sais some pretty dumb shit and whatnot but im begining to notice 12oz is like a fucking highschool.you got your little popular users and all the little guys are all on the dick and wouldnt dare to go against something they say.like look at this thread.teaser wants to publish a poem hes wrote because he thinks its worthy of being published.as usual everybody points the fucking finger and makes their usual rude ass comments.im not saying thats a terrible thing to do but i mean this time the guy is serious about something he wants to accomplish. then seeking comes around and sticks up for him and all of a sudden almost all of the clowning on tease stops.i find that pretty funny in itself.just an observation. alrite tease im gonna give you my honest opinion on this poem you wrote.its a little too simple and you really need to learn how to write poetry a little better.just take your time with this.seriously get a journal and start writing everyday.look up good poems.and look for a good poetry forum.post your poems there and see what they think.i think thats the best thing you could do to improve. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mr.yuck Posted July 29, 2003 Share Posted July 29, 2003 that picture you posted is genius arcel. It's one of the few things that make sense around here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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