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Hey Jesus Potato... a faith question for you...

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by --zeSto--, Nov 25, 2003.

  1. --zeSto--

    --zeSto-- Veteran Member

    Joined: Jul 12, 2000 Messages: 6,979 Likes Received: 2
    Dear :jpotato: ,

    So I know you must be very busy these days,
    but if it's not too much trouble, I've got a few questions.

    - What's with those religions that forbid alcohol? Does that offend you? It bothers me.

    - How about donations to the church? How can I get something to you without the pederasts taking it?

    - If I really want to listen to a church organ play tunes, is it okay to just sit in the back pew on sunday and rock out?

    - when you said....
    "For the lips of a strange woman drop as an honeycomb, and her mouth is smoother than oil; But her end is bitter as wormwood,
    sharp as a two-edged sword. Her feet go down to death; her steps take hold on hell." - Proverbs 5:3-5

    What did the bitch do that was so bad?



    your faithfull doodlebug,
    Kilo

    [/amen]
     
  2. Kr430n5_666

    Kr430n5_666 Banned

    Joined: Oct 6, 2004 Messages: 19,229 Likes Received: 30
    there are some people out there that are worthwhile
     
  3. --zeSto--

    --zeSto-- Veteran Member

    Joined: Jul 12, 2000 Messages: 6,979 Likes Received: 2
    hey makros... you might be able to help me on one of those questions.

    I know you probably dig some booming organ music played
    at full volume under gothic arches. Am I right here?
    Well I want to hear some organ music and I think I might have
    to get dressed up and sneak into a church to do it.

    Is it wrong to go church just so you can hear the tunes?

    I'll be in the back row rocking out with my hymm book out.
     
  4. Kr430n5_666

    Kr430n5_666 Banned

    Joined: Oct 6, 2004 Messages: 19,229 Likes Received: 30
    You want me to answer those quesitons?
    I thought they were JP.

    Excruciate the virgin dream.
     
  5. !@#$%

    !@#$% Moderator Crew

    Joined: Oct 1, 2002 Messages: 18,517 Likes Received: 621
    holy shit!

    a clear response.

    i agree.
    why is it so easy to picture kr430n5 listening to really dramatic orchestra music in a gothis cathedral?:confused:
     
  6. mental invalid

    mental invalid Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: May 11, 2001 Messages: 13,050 Likes Received: 8
    - when you said....
    "For the lips of a strange woman drop as an honeycomb, and her mouth is smoother than oil; But her end is bitter as wormwood,
    sharp as a two-edged sword. Her feet go down to death; her steps take hold on hell." - Proverbs 5:3-5
    What did the bitch do that was so bad?




    hahahahaha.....TEAM COMEDY!
     
  7. mental invalid

    mental invalid Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: May 11, 2001 Messages: 13,050 Likes Received: 8
    - when you said....
    "For the lips of a strange woman drop as an honeycomb, and her mouth is smoother than oil; But her end is bitter as wormwood,
    sharp as a two-edged sword. Her feet go down to death; her steps take hold on hell." - Proverbs 5:3-5
    What did the bitch do that was so bad?




    hahahahaha.....TEAM COMEDY!
     
  8. --zeSto--

    --zeSto-- Veteran Member

    Joined: Jul 12, 2000 Messages: 6,979 Likes Received: 2
    well most of those questions are for the JP but you might spend more time in church than he does.

    please makros.... tell me.... battle of the bands - sunday school style?


    http://freepages.genealogy.rootsweb.com/~fkruse/organ.jpg'>

    ^ makros' bedroom?
     
  9. Kr430n5_666

    Kr430n5_666 Banned

    Joined: Oct 6, 2004 Messages: 19,229 Likes Received: 30
  10. !@#$%

    !@#$% Moderator Crew

    Joined: Oct 1, 2002 Messages: 18,517 Likes Received: 621
    here we go again ;)
     
  11. Jackson

    Jackson Veteran Member

    Joined: May 21, 2002 Messages: 7,345 Likes Received: 122
  12. Jesus Potato

    Jesus Potato New Jack

    Joined: Sep 13, 2002 Messages: 46 Likes Received: 0
    He Speaks

    http://newcamp.net/hector/images/12oz/potato.jpg'>

    1) Religions that forbid alcohol are like strip joints that forbid nudity. Religion and alcohol are so intimately tied that it is absolutely impossible for one to exist without the other. There were written recipes for beer and fermented spirits before there was a single religious word written, for me's sake. If any doubts arise, allow me to explain; here's a sample from the Holy Quran:

    [b]The Holy Quran, 5.90:[/b][i] O ye who believe! Intoxicants and gambling, (dedication of) stones, and (divination by) arrows, are an abomination,- of Satan's handwork: eschew such (abomination), that ye may prosper.[/i]

    It is no surprise that such text would be mistaken to be implying that drinking is a bad thing, even prohibited. But you know, like, fuck that, you know? The Quran just goes on to say that in heaven there won't be bottles of alcohol, but RIVERS of it, so in the end, it's all good. That shit was all written by dudes who where all high on drugs (they were probably vegan and gay too), so don't sweat the details. Just drink, man, Dad made fermentation precisely for drinking. I called wine my "blood" for a reason, and obviously, you should be following my shit.



    2) Well, what exactly is it you wanna get to me? Money doesn't mean shit to me, though it does to the pederasts (as well as young penis) who keep asking for it on TV. But if you wanna send a couple of sluts that will put out immediately (dealing with nuns is a hassle), you can send them, along with your name, address and phone number, to:

    154 Charleston St.
    Apt. #2
    Stratocumulus Level, HV 00777

    I'll put in a good word to my homie Peter at the gates for you. You can also send expensive jewelry and dope rims.



    3) You most definitely can, as long as you rock a mean air guitar while chanting my name 7 times in a row. Actually, that last part is bullshit, you just need the air guitar. But it'd be awesome if you screamed my name a few times. Bonus points: When that part of Mass comes around where you have to hug and kiss people, punch someone in the face. When he/she asks why you did it, say I told you to, which I just did. Print this out for proof.



    4) She bit down.
     
  13. Vanity

    Vanity Veteran Member

    Joined: Apr 11, 2000 Messages: 7,673 Likes Received: 6
    Re: He Speaks

    :lol:
     
  14. --zeSto--

    --zeSto-- Veteran Member

    Joined: Jul 12, 2000 Messages: 6,979 Likes Received: 2
    Everything is So clear to me now! :idea:
     
  15. Swiffer Jet

    Swiffer Jet Elite Member

    Joined: Jul 14, 2003 Messages: 2,669 Likes Received: 0
    so how do you pronounce its name?

    kraeons?

    as in krayons?
     
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