Strains on the oldest sibling

[KILZ FILLZ]

Im the oldest and so is my wife. We are feeling the pressure to take care of the elders and bring them into the home. 
 

any of you in this boat?

[Schnitzel]

I think grandparents around would be wonderful for my kids but I'm also saying that with the security of never having to make good on it.

Both my parents died a year apart in 2005-2006.

 

Couple of my friends in high school were indian and one of them had about 10 relatives in his house growing up.

Always seemed cool to me growing up in a single parent house that was often very quiet.

Must have been hard when he wanted to have a sneaky wank though.

 

 

 

 

[fat ralphy]

@KILZ FILLZI have been tapped to basically promise to watch out/provide for my j-cat brother if he is still alive after my parents go. 

 

Other than that - I am pretty lucky in that my parents are pretty good financially and health wise. That said I will definitely always make sure they are stable and taken care of - I have an apartment behind my house and would definitely consider giving it to them. 

 

#oldestoner

Edited May 23, 2023 by fat ralphy

[mr.yuck]

My parents want to build an inlaw suite on my property. I'm good with that. When I asked them how much room they needed, my dad said 2500 SQ ft single story. Lol. I told him I would build an inlaw suite and they could just have the house. 

[ndv]

Just like my pet insurance aproach, it's cheaper to euthanize and get new parents.  Younger and healthier, potentially ones who are influencers and such, they can support themselves. 

Edited May 23, 2023 by ndv

[mr.yuck]

On 5/22/2023 at 11:24 PM, KILZ FILLZ said:

Im the oldest and so is my wife. We are feeling the pressure to take care of the elders and bring them into the home. 
 

any of you in this boat?

 

Are you trying to bring both set of parents in at the same time?

[morton]

It would be a real trial, not sure that I would take it on. I expect that I will never be called on as my father married young the second time around and my mother did well saving.

 

A real test it would be, hopefully I never need to face it.

 

My wife's parents are a bit of a wild card but I am pretty confident she would reject the proposition if it were to arise.

 

 

[Mauler5150]

As the eldest of 6 kids on my Mother's side, and 4 on my Dads with only my Brother and I sharing parents, I reached out to my Father last September or so, and told him that I wanted him in my life physically present whilst he is alive so I could convey to him that I have love for him in spite of him choosing to ignore his own kids as he roleplays and pretends to be a parent to kids with whatever woman he has found after he left my Mum and the wife he had daughters with. My message pretty much said I wanted to put a line in the sand for his past neglect and at least use the gift that is the present to ensure neither of us has to die free with potential regret of "Coulda, Shoulda, Woulda" as he is getting into his 60s and neither of us knows what today or tomorrow holds.

 

My message got ignored, so when I had my car accident I could have died in a week later I sent the pics and no response.

 

So to follow up a couple of months later, as I was in the area I visited his parent's gravesite to clean it up and left some flowers. I sent him the image and that was me burying my Father as I sent the message to him that I no longer have to deal with doing it in future if he wastes the rest of his life ignoring me and my multiple requests to catch up.

 

The best part is that his Father's grave has his ex wife's name on it, so it probably was a harsh reminder of him neglecting my Brother and I for women who did nothing but leave him with betrayal whilst I had to help him pick up the pieces after his divorce as an 18 year old.

 

As for my Mother, I have a good relationship with her, but after begging her to quit cigarettes for the past 20 years, as I want her to live and be in my life as long as possible,  I have already accepted her inevitable death by cancer as her parents succumbed to around the age she is now, and I will deal with the process whenever it happens. She knows I love her and I have told her as much.

 

 

 

[KILZ FILLZ]

On 5/24/2023 at 2:42 PM, mr.yuck said:

 

Are you trying to bring both set of parents in at the same time?

No thank god. Mother in law is in much better shape and makes bank as a nurse. It’s on the distant horizon though. 

[KILZ FILLZ]

On 5/25/2023 at 3:32 AM, Mauler5150 said:

As the eldest of 6 kids on my Mother's side, and 4 on my Dads with only my Brother and I sharing parents, I reached out to my Father last September or so, and told him that I wanted him in my life physically present whilst he is alive so I could convey to him that I have love for him in spite of him choosing to ignore his own kids as he roleplays and pretends to be a parent to kids with whatever woman he has found after he left my Mum and the wife he had daughters with. My message pretty much said I wanted to put a line in the sand for his past neglect and at least use the gift that is the present to ensure neither of us has to die free with potential regret of "Coulda, Shoulda, Woulda" as he is getting into his 60s and neither of us knows what today or tomorrow holds.

 

My message got ignored, so when I had my car accident I could have died in a week later I sent the pics and no response.

 

So to follow up a couple of months later, as I was in the area I visited his parent's gravesite to clean it up and left some flowers. I sent him the image and that was me burying my Father as I sent the message to him that I no longer have to deal with doing it in future if he wastes the rest of his life ignoring me and my multiple requests to catch up.

 

The best part is that his Father's grave has his ex wife's name on it, so it probably was a harsh reminder of him neglecting my Brother and I for women who did nothing but leave him with betrayal whilst I had to help him pick up the pieces after his divorce as an 18 year old.

 

As for my Mother, I have a good relationship with her, but after begging her to quit cigarettes for the past 20 years, as I want her to live and be in my life as long as possible,  I have already accepted her inevitable death by cancer as her parents succumbed to around the age she is now, and I will deal with the process whenever it happens. She knows I love her and I have told her as much.

 

 

 

That sucks man. Sorry to read that about pops. What a selfish dick

[mr.yuck]

2 hours ago, KILZ FILLZ said:

No thank god. Mother in law is in much better shape and makes bank as a nurse. It’s on the distant horizon though. 

 

Yeah. Since my wife and I don't have kids to worry about, we are busy worrying about our nieces and nephews. They are going to be coming on line as adults in 3-4 years and no one has prepared them for adulthood in any aspect. 

[Mauler5150]

On 5/28/2023 at 5:35 AM, KILZ FILLZ said:

That sucks man. Sorry to read that about pops. What a selfish dick

It is what it is man. Can't choose your parents, nor the reality we incarnate into, otherwise I would live in a world exactly the same as my current one, sans tobacco and cigarette smokers as they do nothing but infect this world with toxic cancerous smoke which is endemic of their pathetic lack of self control and selfishness.

 

While such a classification includes my Mother as a dhurrie smoker, I'll gladly accept the paradox of me spawning into this simulation so that I never have to encounter such dead inside creatures who choose to willingly abuse the gift of life they have been granted with their inhaling of noxious, cancerous poisons.

[Mauler5150]

Also, as one who allowed his asian in-laws to move into my House after I married into the family, it is kind of funny when I was looked at as stupid by said in-laws about who to trust and do business with in the industry I was a professsional within (Property and Commercial Construction) at the finance level.

 

And this was after being poisoned in India at a restaurant prior to departing to Europe on my honeymoon by my Father in law ans his Brother who took me alone without my Wife or Father to some hole of a restaurant that saw me miss out on Barcelona and making two innocuous trips to the hospital in Milan Italy as I didn't eat food for 10 days as I began my honeymoon. This was after the machine gun toting soldiers who came to my wedding reception with some politician to assassinate me earlier in the trip were told "There is another way" with the poison the ideal solution.

 

Then earlier this year, this story made national news headlines as karma came back on said Father in law as He got poisoned back, something that would never have happened had I been trusted as I should have been.

 

https://www.abc.net.au/news/2022-08-23/darshan-arora-overdose-medication-fiona-stanley-hospital/101360020

 

But then again, the part of asian culture that appealed to me in how they look after their elders was the same thing that caused my wife to divorce me. 
 

But as always, I will be here to say "I told them so" just as I will with my Mother when she inevitably gets smoking related cancer.

 

If you are the eldest, set an example by not smoking and getting your parents to quit if they indulge in the disgusting habit of sucking cancerous shit from butts.

 

Otherwise you are not doing your role as a child or as a sibling.

[Mauler5150]

And I am not doxxing anyone with the above post, as a galaxy of assassins being sent after me by this rich corrupt bastard to try and kill me needs to be put down on the internet to know that I laugh at the pathetic attempts to silence the truth of how they fucked up when they decided to cross me in their subversive attempt to circumvent happiness being bestowed upon a society full of literal bottom feeders.