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funny things said when stoned...

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well i thought i'd start this cause theres a drunk one so here i go...and it can be also about shit you did when high....//..

 

feel free to add yours..

 

..(getting up in the middle of a party with 90% of people i dont know)and saying shut up then sitting right back down

...ordering 5 dozen donuts for me and a couple of friend the cashier though i was bring them back to a party..no i said wiel laughing my head off(done that to much to think)

...."is this the right bus"

.."this is some mother fuckin good weed"

....."what the fuck are we doing"

..."were the fuck are we going"

..(in mexican voice)'cronic les importanta"

.....going up to a girl askin if my friend can have her phone number shes says whos your friend i said ummmm...."that short kid"

...."iam turning to clay"

.."what is this amazing shit"friend says thats a mars bar

.......askin were my friend is then seeing him then leavin again and doing the same thing again

.........."the shits poohoched"

 

 

iull post more later cant think there to many.....////.......

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"fuck it, i didnt graduate high school. im gonna blow up this frog." --kinney

he then proceeded to duct tape an M-80 to the backside of a frog, light it, and throw it out the back door.

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Guest imported_Tesseract

No offence man but the thing with stoned quotes is that its only funny when stoned:D

 

 

'I'm not stoned, i'm just hilarious' -------------------------------------------------------*Ghhhhhhhhhhhm, see what i mean?

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oops!

 

Originally posted by Tesseract

No offence man but the thing with stoned quotes is that its only funny when stoned:D

 

 

'I'm not stoned, i'm just hilarious' -------------------------------------------------------*Ghhhhhhhhhhhm, see what i mean?

 

 

you pretty much beat me to it!!

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Originally posted by SKUMBALUCKAH

This should be called 'stupid things said when stoned, but at the time it seemed really intelligent'

 

Fuck potheads :p

 

true,true...//....

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Originally posted by Tesseract

No offence man but the thing with stoned quotes is that its only funny when stoned:D

 

 

'I'm not stoned, i'm just hilarious' -------------------------------------------------------*Ghhhhhhhhhhhm, see what i mean?

 

im stoned right now, and believe me, their not

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drunk quotes are funnier but here goes

 

so me and my boys are smokin on my poarch and my friend says just take two shots. then im like two shots too the double glock. then we all start chanting two shots too the double glock.

 

ya so like i was saying drunk quotes are funnier...... ..... ... .. .

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...."yo pass it up"to the fools hitting it more than twice

 

..."yo lets get a pompom"when you got the bag but no blunt

 

..."thats some chronic" and or "Thats some crazy shit" somebody always says that shit

 

..."Yo lets hit sev(aka seven-eleven)" cause you're never too high for a slurpee

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Considering I smoke weed like, well, ALOT, there's wayyyyyyy too many. I'm gonna start paying attention and remembering them.

 

Here's one that was kinda funny when about 8 of us were on mushrooms at like 3 in the morning.

 

Shawn: Dude, you don't look so good, how much did you have?

Travis: Uhhhh....I don't know 4 maybe?

Me: Hahahahahahahahahahahaha....shit dude we kept feeding you more! You've had at least 5!

Travis: Fuck, is that why it took me so long to eat them??

 

Travis then proceeds to wander into the living room, fall over the coffee table and starts screaming"AAAAAAAAhhhhhhhh!!!! I can't get up!! I can't feel my legs!!" Sigh...... good times.

 

My friend Ryan did more mushrooms than I've ever seen anyone consume. He kept twitching and cleaning up coz it was his house. My buddy Ben threw all these crackers on the floor.

Ryan: Fuck!!! Who threw all these crackers on the floor??!! ........ Cue about 30 mins of nonstop laughing. He then put a chair on the kitchen table and sat on it. What a fucking night that was....

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Guest INDEPENDENZA

friend: i want to fuck with you!

girl: no!

friend: biatch!

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Me: Dude, you just blew past a cop car

Dave: Oh shit, do you think they'll call my house??

 

Dave's a pussy. I don't know why I do shit with him.....

 

Friend: Fuuuuuck!!! I can't get the fridge open! Now we'll never feast on the orangey goodness within!

 

My friends are idiots....

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Originally posted by Dr. Dazzle

My buddy Ben threw all these crackers on the floor.

Ryan: Fuck!!! Who threw all these crackers on the floor??!! ........ Cue about 30 mins of nonstop laughing. He then put a chair on the kitchen table and sat on it. What a fucking night that was....

 

Wish I'd been there, Ive only done shrooms once..and they didnt even work. I got nothing.

 

Anyway..my first time I got high we were driving around and when it kicked in I was like 'I feel like Im watching a movie!'. Everyone was cracking up. Then later on I thought I saw a cop so Im like 'yo theres a cop!' they all got scared and I pointed him out to which my friend said something Ill never forget..'that was an old man on a bicycle'. Damn I was fucked up that night. :dazed:

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This was like the second time I got stoned when I was about 13 or somethin. I was hanging with all these 18 - 20 yr olds smokin blunts the size of small trumpets..

 

(about to leave a spot)

 

Me - "Dude, yo dude.. you forgot your walkman.."

Older guy "That's an empty packet of batteries, fuckface"

Crowd - Uncontrollable laughter.

 

Hahah, I got the last laugh coz that night I stole the motherfukers tone dialer with all his PBX dial ups in it.... what ?!? :crazy:

 

scratchn.. what is it ?

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my friend rob:

"i found out that weed we stole from my stepfather was laced with angel dust. (2 minutes of silence...) so those after school specials are fuckin bullshit cause i didn't think bugs were crawling on my face and i didn't jump out a 3rd floor window."

 

some chic named kim:

"goldberg, stone cold steve austin, the rock...i'd let pretty much any big name wrestler fuck me"

 

my former roomate:

"willy just passed out in the bathroom and puked up alphabet soup all over the floor. it says 'brine' next to his head. isn't that the name of a company that makes lacrosse sticks or something? lacrosse is fucking gay."

 

my brother:

"that dudes hates me. probly cause i stole a chicken from his dad and got it killed in a cockfight. whatever-get over it man."

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Originally posted by garcia_vega

my friend rob:

 

 

my former roomate:

"willy just passed out in the bathroom and puked up alphabet soup all over the floor. it says 'brine' next to his head. isn't that the name of a company that makes lacrosse sticks or something? lacrosse is fucking gay."

 

 

doesn't he know how to chew his food?

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My best friend, his wife and I had gone out for Tex-Mex. On the way home we stopped for Krispie Kream for some doughnuts. We went home, got stoned and started to watch a movie. My friend's wife opens the box of doughnuts and says, "Do you want some?" I looked her in the eye and replied, "Are you crazy? We just ate like ten minutes ago. I'm still full."

 

I then proceeded to eat about 8 doughnuts in a row. They laughed about it for the rest of the evening.

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jimmy; remember the time frank hit me in the face with the tree and the purple roof got stuck in my mouth and i couldnt breathe?

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