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Weapon X

I Am the Patron Saint of Retards

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Someone I know called me this a while back, and he was being serious.

 

If you're a retard who nobody likes, I'll be your friend. I'll be seen at the mall with you, I'll argue with you, and I'll collect baseball players' autographs with you (that is, after all, the ultimate retard activity).

 

When you need someone to roll your spliffs for you, I'll be there. And when you cut someone off retardedly on a major street, I'll be the one yelling "fuck you!" after they honk.

 

I'll accept your collect calls from jail after you've been booked with possession of crack, and I'll make sure you don't choke on your own vomit after you're OD'ing on the carpet and everyone else has left.

 

I'll listen to your retarded girl problems, and I'll give you peptalks when you're unemployed and not motivated to get a next job.

 

I'll be the only one not laughing when you rip your shirt off, play with your nipples and run around the park, crying about how Rock and Roll is dead.

 

For real. Should I stop being the Patron Saint of Retards?

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I'll be the only one not laughing when you rip your shirt off' date=' play with your nipples and run around the park, crying about how Rock and Roll is dead.[/quote']

 

anyone who wouldn't laugh at that is a retard

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anyone who wouldn't laugh at that is a retard

 

It was pretty sad. The dude was literally crying about the fate of rock, and just going batshit insane. I don't know what the nipples had to do with anything, though, but apparently, he felt that nipple arousal has everything to do with rock n roll.

 

The cops finally picked him up after he threatened to rape some old lady, or something like that.

I give this dude more respect than his own brother.

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right on weapon X

are you talking about actual retards here though, or normal guys who are just stupid?

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right on weapon X

are you talking about actual retards here though, or normal guys who are just stupid?

 

 

A little from column A, a little from column B. Literally. I know a lot of people who were diagnosed with mental disabilities at an early age.

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I was on the same tip as you were Weapon, till I started blowing up. What's with this world and loving this born to lose bullshit?

 

 

Btw, telling people how you actually feel leads to a lot less people calling you about parties on the weekends. For better or worse.

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^ Internet forums aren't real, therefore I don't exist. So wtf you talking about?

 

Gamblers, you're right, I should take your advice. So next time I'm having a bad day, I'll take some issue that has no bearing on my life up with you. Maybe it'll make me feel better - it does make you feel better, right?

 

Any more outta you, and I'll come infect you with AIDS, you nerd ass motherfucker. :scrambled:

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