Jump to content

Fuck This Shit Thread - no homo


Frate_Raper

Recommended Posts

This forum is supported by the 12ozProphet Shop, so go buy a shirt and help support!
This forum is brought to you by the 12ozProphet Shop.
This forum is brought to you by the 12oz Shop.

The parish priest went on a fishing trip. On the last day of his trip he hooked a monster fish and proceeded to reel it in.

 

The guide, holding a net, yelled, "Look at the size of that Son of a Bitch!"

 

"Son, I'm a priest. Your language is uncalled for!"

 

"No, Father, that's what kind of fish it is-a Son of a Bitch fish!"

 

"Really? Well then, help me land this Son of a Bitch!"

 

Once in the boat, they marveled at the size of the monster.

 

"Father, that's the biggest Son of a Bitch I've ever seen."

 

"Yes, it is a big Son of a Bitch. What should I do with it?"

 

"Why, eat it of course. You've never tasted anything as good as Son of a Bitch!"

 

Elated, the priest headed home to the rectory. While unloading his gear and his prize catch, Sister Mary inquired about his trip.

 

"Take a look at this big Son of a Bitch I caught!"

 

Sister Mary gasped and clutched her rosary, "Father!"

 

"It's OK, Sister. That's what kind of fish it is-a Son of a Bitch fish!"

 

"Oh, well then, what are you going to do with that big Son of a Bitch?"

 

"Why, eat it of course. The guide said nothing compares to the taste of a Son of a Bitch."

 

Sister Mary informed the priest that the new Bishop was scheduled to visit in a few days and that they should fix the Son of a Bitch for his dinner.

 

"I'll even clean the Son of a Bitch", she said. As she was cleaning the huge fish, the Friar walked in.

 

"What are you doing Sister?"

 

"Father wants me to clean this big Son of a Bitch for the new Bishops' dinner."

 

"Sister! I'll clean it if you're so upset! Please watch your language!"

 

"No, no, no, it's called a Son of a Bitch fish."

 

"Really? Well, in that case, I'll fix up a great meal to go with it, and that Son of a Bitch can be the main course! Let me know when you've finished cleaning that Son of a Bitch."

 

On the night of the new Bishop's visit, everything was perfect. The Friar had prepared an excellent meal. The wine was fine, and the fish was excellent.

 

The new Bishop said, "This is great fish, where did you get it?"

 

"I caught that Son of a Bitch!" proclaimed the proud priest. The Bishop's eyes opened wide, but he said nothing.

 

"And I cleaned the Son of a Bitch!" exclaimed the Sister, as the Bishop's eyes widened even more.

 

The Bishop sat silent in disbelief.

 

The Friar added, "And I prepared the Son of a Bitch, using a special recipe!"

 

The new Bishop looked around at each of them. Slowly a big smile crept across his face as he said,

 

"You fuckers are my kind of people!"

Link to comment
Share on other sites

i've got a bad fever which makes me think weird, my throat feels like i drank sulfuric acid, i've got a terrible headache that comes and goes even though i'm taking tylenol 3. i have to lay in my bed every couple of hours for a few hours, because it gets worse if i'm up for too long. this has reoccured a few times a year for the last three years. the first time i had it, i was out of commision for a week. it hasn't happened since last november, then it lasted for only a couple days ans wasn't too severe. someone inject me with morphine.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

So i was waiting on line to get a water and the guy (about mid 20's metrosexual, eerily reminded me of a army guy i dated)

behind me started talking to me:

"Yo this lines not moving at all"

-yea it seems that way

"you just got hit that you know like unghhh E-N-E-H unghh unghh"

-interesting

a minute after silence

"you know what i'm saying though right?"

"like hit that, hit that, hit that unghh unghh hit that - check out that guys mustache, now that's very interesting...hit that hit that, like ayo, yo yo"

-yep it sure is

After that I was one person to being next on line and the lady in front of me overheard the convo and let me go ahead of her.

I then go to pay for a $6.00 bottle of water smaller than a poland spring.

I declined the water at the counter.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest HESHIANDET

i feel like this is an exclusive thread.

 

but fuck it.

 

my dog ate some wild mushrooms today and got crazy sick. i think shes ok now. im off tomorrow cause i felt like taking a long weekend.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...