Guest Are2 Posted April 6, 2001 Share Posted April 6, 2001 "i've rarely looked up at this place" [sitting in a bar] "i feel better, give me a beer" [after he puked for an hour] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nemersion Posted April 6, 2001 Share Posted April 6, 2001 while accidentally kneeing a girl passed out on the couch in the head - "oh no! im hitting her head!" dude-"dont worry. i spilt beer on her lots" (kneeling down, an inch from her face) "'im sorry. youre passed out. have a nice nap" while holding Kid A "these are the ones everyone has" i guess they were only funny AT the party... ------------------ poop Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest HESHIANDET Posted April 6, 2001 Share Posted April 6, 2001 not drunk(yet) beer stuufed deep into my lap behind the wheel to cop "I WASN'T FUCKIN HOT RODDING!" note-only in vermont does shit like that fly. he apologized and told to have a good night. "i just fucked the ugliest girl ever" "she like fucking a warm glass of water" "lets fuckin go dude"-as i was taking my shirt off in the middle of south st. "i think i just shit my pants" "michelle just threw up V8 on your couch and then pissed her self"-this happened the summer of my senior year. we had to throw out my boys parents couch.(they were on vacation) "lets go race those fuckin cars"-proceded to crash them and get into more police drama and questionings than you can imagine. "if you ever come back here i'll have you arrested"-go cart track manager after we showed up drunk and got behind the wheel for a little racin. I've been into more crap than you can imagine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maskoner Posted April 6, 2001 Share Posted April 6, 2001 "these all say words?" -jking after looking through dist's flick album. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MESTHREE Posted April 6, 2001 Share Posted April 6, 2001 haha this stuff is jokes...I have a few....mostly just from being really red...not drunk... a bunch of people and myself talking bout this kid who always had these huge,dope stickers: me to lics " yah man hes got some kinda hooker stick-ups" (trying to say sticker hook-ups) me and a bunch of people in my stairwell talking about someone or another.... alex- "man shes busted" my brother - "she fucking wreckage" me - "no dude shes a fucking 10 care pile up" me and a friend watching tv...some show about cats.... friend- " yo that cat is so ugly its name should be George." hahaha i still dont know what that means........... ------------------ mesthree13.hug. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fatguydist Posted April 7, 2001 Author Share Posted April 7, 2001 next time we drink we need to toast to bill braskie..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maskoner Posted April 7, 2001 Share Posted April 7, 2001 maskoner: "but, then i wont look like an asshole." dist: "but, you ARE an asshole." maskoner: "yeah, but i dont want to LOOK like one." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fatguydist Posted April 7, 2001 Author Share Posted April 7, 2001 on aim last night... dist: dood drinking alone is bad huh?? maskoner: no but us being shirtless is bad.. dist: niiiice also i walked to the store like a block from my apartment last night at 12:30 cuz i couldnt remember if they stopped selling at 12 or 1 on fridays (1 on saturdays) anyway i was already pretty drunk.. and i walked into the store and walk up to the counter and ask"is the cut off for selling beer 12 or 1 tonight.." the guy looks at me all pissed like and is like "IT"S 12" i was like oh i thought it was 1 on the weekends.. THIS IS FRIDAY THIS AINT A WEEKEND!!!.... shit im just trying to get more drunk shit... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mr.e Posted April 7, 2001 Share Posted April 7, 2001 smirnoff ice is a cruel mistress... after last night... me, running after a car packed with girlies : 'HEY!! HOW DO YOU LIKE ORGASMS?!?!?! ' system: seriously, you have no idea whats it like to be suffocated by someones feets. me: dude....you gotta smell this fart me again: wanna go see a movie yo? system: no, yo, i aint gonna go. wait a second, im the freestyling champion on the southern rim. me: sure you are kenny, sure you are... as i preceded to fall down. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest imported_El Mamerro Posted April 8, 2001 Share Posted April 8, 2001 "Shit, I can feel his ear inside my butt cheeks" "It only looks like this cause I'm drunk... It'll get bigger, I think." "When I get to be 21... I'm gonna have a sharp penis." (?) "Fuck, this thing expired back when I was in high school... But it's either this or duct tape." Conversation: Me: "Hey, I'm not sexy." Her: "Yes you are, I think you're really sexy. But not when you're this drunk." Me: "Uh, but when sober, am I sexy?" Her: "Yeah. But not now." Me: "So this means you don't want to play with my Ding Dong?" Her: "No, I don't want to play with your... Ding Dong." Me: (out loud)"ANYONE HERE WANNA PLAY WITH MY DING DONG?" Her: "Ok, I'm gonna leave now" Me: "Hey, am I sexy?" All of these are 100% true. beer, Chronos Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jades_blue Posted April 8, 2001 Share Posted April 8, 2001 (early evening) "hey, where's ____ and ___ at?" Other: "on the lawn" (fast forward --5 o'clock in the morning) "hey, where's ___ and ____ at? They're still passed out on the lawn." --"isn't the grass wet?" other: "yeh." --"oh. Should we wake them up?" other: "no, just leave them there." "Hey, where's ______ at?" (female) other: "on the side of the house with ____" (male)- "what's she doing?" other: "what do you think?" -- "Oh, she's getting fucked on the side of the house... but the garbage can is there" "what the fuck! I was passed out on the floor and _____ (male) just fucking grabbed my tit and ran off" "Hey, ____ (male) just peed in the corner of your room..." "oops, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to break that" "Hey, it's almost 2 -- let's hurry and go get some more beer before the store closes." "Hey, it's almost six (in the morning) who wants more beer?" (These events took place in just one night. Too much shit happened that night. One of the best parties... too bad we couldn't start earlier because my friends mom came back home to get something and we had to pretend we were all meeting up to go out) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fatguydist Posted April 8, 2001 Author Share Posted April 8, 2001 bumpers for plumpers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OGBforMumia Posted April 8, 2001 Share Posted April 8, 2001 this girl had a party last night, and i wasnt drunk, but tipsy. and we found her sisters little razor scooters (yes she had 2) and this teal blue helmet. and we went out side and had races on them muthafuckas, i think im gonna have a scar now... "FUCK YOU!, I DIDNT WANT A HAMBURGER! ANYWAY!"-me to this girl who i was "macking" in Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fatguydist Posted April 8, 2001 Author Share Posted April 8, 2001 when im drunk i sit down to pee... its the cool thing to do every one who is anyone does it... unless i am at a house where that shit is filthy... or there is a urinal... its cuz i swae and make a mess.... and im a nice guy and dont like doing that... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OGBforMumia Posted April 9, 2001 Share Posted April 9, 2001 me last night, drunk off my ass.... "PIG BLIMPIN spending cheese PIG BLIMPIN on B-L-A-D's BIG PLIMIN up in NYC GIB PIMIN its just the jigga man, dimp c and B-U-M-P" then i fell off the chair....backwards... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Step8 Posted April 9, 2001 Share Posted April 9, 2001 me- " I'm gonna turn u to bone dust" friend- " yo i'm gonna start a gang called BLOOD FIRE!!!" me yelling to a hooker out a car window downtown -" I WANT YOUR CUNT -UNT-UNT-UNT" the word cunt echoed it sounded cool. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LORD KELI? Posted April 9, 2001 Share Posted April 9, 2001 AKG AKG AKG AKG Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ohnoone Posted April 9, 2001 Share Posted April 9, 2001 at the hotel this weekend,someone knocks on door. my freind opens the door with a beer in hand and its a cop. without missing a beat, he takes a sip turns his head and says "matt its for you" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maskoner Posted April 9, 2001 Share Posted April 9, 2001 her: "man, we need to do body shots sometime." me: "uhuh" (pours nearby bottle of boone's famr on her stomach and starts to lick gher belly) "will this do?" her: "that's gonna be a bitch to clean up." me: "i'm drunk... more kissy." **i am posting this in "sexual mishaps" as well (partly as a bump and partly cuz it applies)** Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Poop Man Bob Posted April 9, 2001 Share Posted April 9, 2001 At a party 2 weeks ago my friend got arrested in his orange prison jump suit he bought from Salvation Army. He said all the inmates where asking him if he had escaped. ------------------ Toilets are for the uninspired. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
THE DEVIL! Posted April 10, 2001 Share Posted April 10, 2001 "Who, me? I'm not drunk." "Never again. I mean it." "Uh, well, I dunno what happened..I guess your fridge just kinda.....FELL over." At a frat party...."Holy shit...look at all these bowling balls......what floor are we on?...third you say?......" bowling balls rained down........... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest RadeOne Posted April 10, 2001 Share Posted April 10, 2001 after heavy drinking in a smokey apartment rade stumbles outside and takes deep breaths and proceeds to collapse rades wise friend qwerk who does not drink heavily like rade stands over him and ... qwerk-dude are you ok rades- yeah, all the repetitive breathing fucked me up... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shyster Posted April 10, 2001 Share Posted April 10, 2001 my freind on the way home to freind #2 in the back seat at the top of his lungs "ur mom's ass is the merridian trench!!!" there was more...much more Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maskoner Posted April 10, 2001 Share Posted April 10, 2001 me and fatguyDISTRODOMIS! were on a road trip and were covered in dead earthworm water because we had been painting this wall after it rained and ich... so anyways, we spent our last $2.38 on gas, and were driving home at 10 am and i was still drunk and i said: "hey, when we get home, can we see if a gas station will siphon the gas out of your car and give us money for it... and then we can eat. man, i am hungry." dist: "dood, just eat some of that beef jerkey you racked... why arent we in galveston making out with them girls?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MASk! Posted April 10, 2001 Share Posted April 10, 2001 Ross Clot Schwag Baby! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fatguydist Posted April 11, 2001 Author Share Posted April 11, 2001 onetime leaving maskoners house when we had been doing some heavy drinking... he was standing at the door as we were walking out the he was completely covering his tongue in blue pilot.... he was drunk..... in the same night he also told me to hit him in the face and i did and his shoes flew off... (we have pictures)... and then we got beat up... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
THA SMOCSTA Posted April 11, 2001 Share Posted April 11, 2001 drinking is bad..but heres some from weed dah! "yeah take picture"<-----toe "hahahahahaha" "he did it again" "what tha fuck did we smoke" "is that your tit amy"<-----sake ok bye bye Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fatguydist Posted April 11, 2001 Author Share Posted April 11, 2001 secret if you look me and a few others are talking back and forth kinda... we hang out sometimes so we help each other remember... normally i remember more than maskoner because he is always drunk... they are good times and ANYTHING that him or i say actually happens unless otherwise specified.... "mask is so drunk and he has only had a beer and 2 shots" masks girlfriend telling me this online only using his real name... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maskoner Posted April 11, 2001 Share Posted April 11, 2001 i think i speak for both of us (distro and i) when i say, we are drunk 3 nights a week on average... sometimes together... sometimes with friends... most often, alone (talking on the computer). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jades_blue Posted April 11, 2001 Share Posted April 11, 2001 Secret, sometimes the good times are just to hard to forget.... --------------------- me love marcio boy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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