maskoner Posted April 27, 2001 Share Posted April 27, 2001 fat guy dist once said: "dood, it's buddy knuckles... but, i had no idea he was going to be that big when i printed him off my computer." i dont know if he was drunk or not, but judging by the caliber of stupidity in the comment, i am guessing he was. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seek One Posted April 27, 2001 Share Posted April 27, 2001 my freind after puking: "Hmm When did i eat rice?" ....he still cant remember. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
apedrape Posted April 27, 2001 Share Posted April 27, 2001 its not my fuckin kid bitch! youve got the wrong guy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maskoner Posted April 28, 2001 Share Posted April 28, 2001 BUUUUUUUMP for the weekend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MisPantalonesEstaEnfuega Posted April 29, 2001 Share Posted April 29, 2001 From tonight, walking around the suburbs: *Beer in each hand* I'm wasted, I am so fucking drunk. - Dan kolin:This is a nice stick, lets built a fire. me:Where? kolin:here.*lights fire in middle of street.* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Step8 Posted April 29, 2001 Share Posted April 29, 2001 ordering at buger king.. my friend... fresh from Hong Kong "ya, can i have two wooper combos, with cheese" hahahahaha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*ZEMONEDOE$ Posted April 30, 2001 Share Posted April 30, 2001 what day is it? how long have i been out? i'll never drink again. im a drunkin monkey. uhh pack the bong,i drank to much tonight im to high to drink anymore is this a.a. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest imported_SecretAgentX9 Posted April 30, 2001 Share Posted April 30, 2001 was that your girlfriend? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fatguydist Posted May 1, 2001 Author Share Posted May 1, 2001 i am the illest post starter ever... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
squirtgunwater Posted May 1, 2001 Share Posted May 1, 2001 my friend finally reappearing after hiding out in the woods for hours from the cops: "Back from the dead Duder!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maskoner Posted May 1, 2001 Share Posted May 1, 2001 104 posts... what!? what!? ILL THREAD. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shameless self promotion Posted May 1, 2001 Share Posted May 1, 2001 me: Have you ever seen that show about the donkey? friend:huh, what the hell? me:yeah where they do stoopid shit on mtv friend http://www.12ozprophet.com/ubb//redface.gif'>hh, you mean jackass? Me:Yeaah, i couldnt think of the name. Friend http://www.12ozprophet.com/ubb//redface.gif'>k, ive seen it. Me:blah(puking on the ground) Friend: ha ha, ive never seen that episode!! me: fuck, i was just gonna go jump in the bushes.. friend:"i cant get a hit off this batty bro.." "hee hee, your so trashed fucker, your hittin is backwards..." "no no, im gettin something now.." "fucker, you already inhaled all the weed..fuuck.." "Hold up let me light it" "dammit your stupid.." ------------------ Above the clouds, Above the clouds.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OGBforMumia Posted May 1, 2001 Share Posted May 1, 2001 after the Dave mathews concert in my town my friend had a party, and people were wasted there. and we went to get something to eat, and of course i had a sharpie on me. so when we got to the resturant i was talking to my wasted ass friend saying "dude we need to find some drunk girls so i can draw on them, its dope i saw it on 12 oz one time." friend: "oh word? hell yeah........(stands on a chair) ANY DRUNK GIRLS IN HERE WANT TO GET DRAWN ON!!!???!?!? yeah.....so we didnt find anygirls, but made asses out of our selves, and i wasnt even drunk. FUCK! but i did write "bitch, sucka, i suck dick" on my friends foreheads cause they passed out.....im a bastard....yeah haha its fun! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moater Posted May 2, 2001 Share Posted May 2, 2001 " Hey...do you guys party? " -To hot chicks on the street ---they keep walking away---- "tight.... SLUTS!" -nevermind, I guess that wasn't that funny.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moater Posted May 2, 2001 Share Posted May 2, 2001 After a piss drunk skateboard session--- Greg: Dude, I think I'm getting kind of yoked... Me: No, Dude, you're not at all. Greg: Oh, Yeah.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sam Rothstein Posted May 2, 2001 Share Posted May 2, 2001 In a dorm room of girls when Im like 15 and drunk. Me: how many guys have fucked you since you came to college? Girl I just met: Umm 3 why? me: you dont know their names do you? girl: not their last names. me: you are a slut huh? You don't even have their phone numbers if you wanted to fuck them again huh? girl: what's your fucking problem? me: you don't know my phone number, are you going to fuck me?? Im pretty proud of that gem. Im nice when im not drunk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maskoner Posted May 3, 2001 Share Posted May 3, 2001 i drank a beer in the shower today. shit, it isnt even 8 yet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garth vader Posted May 3, 2001 Share Posted May 3, 2001 it's always funny when i yell my name at kids... on saturday i said this to a girl i went out with in grade 8 "so member when we went out? you have tits now though, lemme kiss you" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maskoner Posted May 3, 2001 Share Posted May 3, 2001 Originally posted by OGBforMumia: and of course i had a sharpie on me. hahahah! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maskoner Posted May 7, 2001 Share Posted May 7, 2001 after i dropped my lighter over the balcony: um, shit... thats important. come get that with me. yo, lets go makeout in the bathroom. oh, we're getting naked now? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fatguydist Posted May 7, 2001 Author Share Posted May 7, 2001 what the hell why am i already drunk??? im already hung over and havent gone to sleep yet... peep the lusty latina over there in the white pants foo... i wish i was a rapper and had weed all around me i would go hom smoke, masturbate, and fall asleep in the shower... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shyster Posted May 18, 2001 Share Posted May 18, 2001 freind to this old guy "sparky" : thats a hardcore mullet you got there.. sparky: MULLET! is that what they call this style of haircut?!..mullets...that theres the dumbest fish ever!!! i oughta kick somebody's ass! ------------------ we are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars--oscar wilde Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest RadeOne Posted May 18, 2001 Share Posted May 18, 2001 rade at club with crew from back in the day rade and James see girls at club from back in the day rade mistakes linda for rose rade:" hey i remember you, your rose!" linda:" i remember you to, but my names linda" rade:"no your rose, hi rose i met that one time" Linda:"no im linda, remember i used to live with simone and danielle" rade;"damn i havent seen simone since 97, i never knew Simone lived with you rose" Linda:"no MY NAME IS LINDA< IM NOT YOUR GIRL ROSE" Rade: "what you mean your not rose, you dont gotta lie to kick it" Linda: "Whatever!" rade proceedse to climb billboard on top of club and do a pilot tag next to good friends stamp and almost get kicked out of club and battle some wack house dancer and stupidly diss a fly girl that was macking on him, as well as get punked by morgan, rades older very buff friend, who drank my fucken beer outside the club when leaving rade: hey rose Linda: hey Rade to lindas friend: your hella fine Jen lindas friend: i allready asked for your phone number rade:but you want james ph# remeber Jen:whatever rade: hey morgan, look its rose!! Linda: my names not rose!!! Morgan: hi linda you remember me? Linda: NO Morgan: ok James and jen looking at eachother like, it would be cool to hook up with you but im with friends, :we should go... Morgan: that girl linda massaged my ass and told me how she masturbated and thought about fucking me rade:you mean thats not rose james, morgan, joe,: no that was LInda!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lazy Gringo Posted May 19, 2001 Share Posted May 19, 2001 BUMPSKI! "yo... who the fuck are you?" "what happened?" - kids haha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Poop Man Bob Posted October 17, 2001 Share Posted October 17, 2001 Bump for good times sake. :idea: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spoter Posted October 17, 2001 Share Posted October 17, 2001 :crazy: :D "i'm so racist i hate my own kind...burp." nothing beats freestyling drunk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
niseNSF Posted October 17, 2001 Share Posted October 17, 2001 one time in pittsburgh, me and my emo friends got pretty drunk...we each had a 40 , and then i drove us to some party on the southside. we are all drinking from the keg and challenging each other to shots of vodka and shit...i end up doing way too many shots...like 10 i think. anyways, we make the bad mistake of eating some microdots (synthetic mesc) that kids were all passing around. anyway, dots usually dont fuck me up so i ate two...already drunk. well, big mistake...nobody knew how strong these microdots were and everyone started getting insane...like buggin out insane...even experienced trippers....and it was like getting worse cause even if you got your shit together, youd try to talk to someone and THEY would be all goofy and youd get bugged again. we finally decided we neeeded to get the fuck out of there...so we jetted to my car and took off. me driving shouldnt have been happening, but it was. we decide that we need pizza. so we call dominos on a cellphone and order food to pick up. its like almost 2, so theyre like, you gotta get here quick, were closing. were like cool...but we obviously were not cool. as im speeding thru back streets and stuff to avoid red lights (and cops) i finally pull up next to this porshe at a light. my emo friends are already buggin out and like diving around the back street moshing to the gorilla biscuits im blasting...so they dont really see how it started, but for some reason, i feel like i gotta race this porsche..in my 89 nissan sentra, mind you.!!! so i go way out of the way from the pizza shop, chasing this porsche for no reason and screaming at it. i scare all my friends who are like, "dude, clam down" or "what happened to the pizza? where are we?" and the evening culminates with me SCREAMING at the porsche driver...(who clearly cant hear me)... "I'll get your grandmother to hurt GOD!!!!!" needless to say, this was an evening ender...my friends took me home and tried to get me to go to sleep. they feared i was going crazy. they wrote down my screaming quote to show me the next day. and , as i was laying on the couch, going crazy in my head, drunk and tripping face, i pull my one boy close to my face, like im gonna make a dying declaration, and i whisper, in all seriousness: "pussy is not the bare minimum" and then pass out. they wrote that down too. and i still have the napkin they wrote it on. thats my wildest drunken quotes. many many funny quotes have been made over the years, but i dont think they translate welll...you had to bethere kinda applies.....but these quotes, although not that witty, are funny i think, even if you werent there.....dont do drugs. peace................ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dirty_habiT Posted October 17, 2001 Share Posted October 17, 2001 My already drunk friend said this once... "Let's get brunk!" and then it was always a joke after that, like code language. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harpo Marx Posted October 17, 2001 Share Posted October 17, 2001 these arent drunk quotes, but stoned is the closest i can get Me: I need a name Kid: crappy christian? 'Dont you ever touch my food when I have the munchies' Kid: ITS A HOUSE! Kid: Dude, is my dad home? Me: (checks) yeah man, we're screwed Ked: (laughs hystericly) *weezes* aww man you guys gotta get outta here I luckily dont do drugs or drink, so I can remember these gems. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harpo Marx Posted October 17, 2001 Share Posted October 17, 2001 "after a while a user gets used to seeing his dead grandmother climbing up his leg with a field knife in her teeth... but no one should be asked to handle this trip" Raul Duke- Fear and loathing in las vegas Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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