blahblahblah Posted April 11, 2001 Share Posted April 11, 2001 at this party- my friend wes comes up to this girl and says "im sleeping there" girl-"where?" *points at her pussy* "there!" another party- friend kirby stares at this girl after long akward silence kirby-"I wanna fuck you" girl-"huh?" kirby"and piss inside you!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fatguydist Posted April 11, 2001 Author Share Posted April 11, 2001 i hate to break it to you dood.... but you speak for yourself... i drink ONCE a week... maybe twice a weekend but i rarley drink 3 times a week... unless its a vacation... your the lush not me asshole... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fatguydist Posted April 11, 2001 Author Share Posted April 11, 2001 BUT i do feel ya on the alone statis... its the only way to fly.... or something,, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shameless self promotion Posted April 11, 2001 Share Posted April 11, 2001 Im drinkin maybe 3-4 days a week, usually thurs-sun or mon..and the funniest thing i have ever seen or heard said was my boy scott who drank his gold fish one night... "Shit, you guys really put the fish in there?" ------------------ Above the clouds, Above the clouds.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maskoner Posted April 12, 2001 Share Posted April 12, 2001 my weekend starts on monday. "no doinkers." we went to a bar with my friend who was 2 days from 21 and when asked for his ID, he handed over a student ID of a large black girl... he is a small white boy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maskoner Posted April 12, 2001 Share Posted April 12, 2001 "you like ARCHIE BONKERZ! seech? dirst does." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fatguydist Posted April 12, 2001 Author Share Posted April 12, 2001 bump just so i can be 69!!!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest HESHIANDET Posted April 12, 2001 Share Posted April 12, 2001 secret-you are what is called a binge drinker or ....hahaha just kidding. i get most of my moments on film, embarasing video to be exact.........i Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Poop Man Bob Posted April 12, 2001 Share Posted April 12, 2001 Now you know how slow that new Rolls Royce be. ------------------ Toilets are for the uninspired. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest -sudz- Posted April 12, 2001 Share Posted April 12, 2001 this was said to me and geko from a complete stanger who was drunk at the time. "will you come to coffee time with us while we have sex? it'll only take a minute." that shit was funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
THE GENIUS Posted April 17, 2001 Share Posted April 17, 2001 NO, I HAVEN'T BEEN DRNKING OFFICER. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OGBforMumia Posted April 21, 2001 Share Posted April 21, 2001 bumpdiliumpious. cause this post should never die!!!!!!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fatguydist Posted April 21, 2001 Author Share Posted April 21, 2001 so on tuesday night i went out with some friends and said i would just get drunk enough that i would some home drunk at 1 and go to bed... i had class the next day... so i drink two screwdrivers with 2 shots in each and take two shots when we get to the bar... then this bars speciality is HUGE long islands... like they are two handers and cost like 4 bucks.. so i have two and a half of those.. and fall asleep on the way home... opnly thats not what happened... evidentally i was mad rowdy at the bar and showing all these girls my belt(i dont know why) and when we got back my roomie was on the phone and i was yelling the whole time and i got online and did an e mail with pictures attached and talked to people on i.m. i thought i came in from the car and went to bed... i dont remember much after my first long island.. and when i woke up the next day my roomate asked if i remember hime jumping on me and yelling in my face... i said no and he explained that he was shaking me and yelling and i barley changed my breathing much less woke up... i was drunk i couldnt do anything till like 6 pm the next day... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fatguydist Posted April 22, 2001 Author Share Posted April 22, 2001 nice drunk story ass... wait you havent told one... GET OFF MY POST BIOTCH!!!! ass distrodomis the regulator Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Secret Posted April 22, 2001 Share Posted April 22, 2001 Originally posted by Secret: How do you guys remember all this shit?? Okay. I decided I wanted a bottle of champagne to myself while my friends chose the regular old beer, and I actually thought of this thread... Once again, I don't remember the details of any conversations, but as always, I remember locations and who was there with me. Maybe its just me, but I think you guys aren't drinking enough... [This message has been edited by Secret (edited 04-22-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fatguydist Posted April 22, 2001 Author Share Posted April 22, 2001 HA Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maskoner Posted April 22, 2001 Share Posted April 22, 2001 distrodomis (the regulator), you should be crew. ha. secret, i am drinking plenty... at least 3 people the board will vouch for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Pilau Hands Posted April 23, 2001 Share Posted April 23, 2001 why did they make this book so hard to read? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Poop Man Bob Posted April 23, 2001 Share Posted April 23, 2001 Originally posted by fatguydist: so on tuesday night i went out with some friends and said i would just get drunk enough that i would some home drunk at 1 and go to bed... i had class the next day... so i drink two screwdrivers with 2 shots in each and take two shots when we get to the bar... then this bars speciality is HUGE long islands... like they are two handers and cost like 4 bucks.. so i have two and a half of those.. and fall asleep on the way home... opnly thats not what happened... evidentally i was mad rowdy at the bar and showing all these girls my belt(i dont know why) and when we got back my roomie was on the phone and i was yelling the whole time and i got online and did an e mail with pictures attached and talked to people on i.m. i thought i came in from the car and went to bed... i dont remember much after my first long island.. and when i woke up the next day my roomate asked if i remember hime jumping on me and yelling in my face... i said no and he explained that he was shaking me and yelling and i barley changed my breathing much less woke up... i was drunk i couldnt do anything till like 6 pm the next day... So where's the quote, tough guy? ------------------ Toilets are for the uninspired. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lazy Gringo Posted April 23, 2001 Share Posted April 23, 2001 Yesterday at bout 11am drunk as fuck... Shawn To random 40yr old Lady: HELLO! -Lady ignores him Mason: Whatta Slut Shawn: Ya man Id fuck her a new asshole!... Bitch is MAD fine! Just lick that PUSSY til it was gone! Mason: *laughing* Oh Hell ya! I'd Fuck that CUNT all night long! Lady (now a good 50 ft away): YOU KNOW I HAVE NO PROBLEM CALLING THE POLICE! Mason: YA! THEY'D FUCK THAT TWAT ALSO! ... I felt terribly bad the next day for being a part of this... But I cannot help but say it was one of the funniest god damn things I have ever heard [This message has been edited by Broad tip (edited 04-23-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shameless self promotion Posted April 23, 2001 Share Posted April 23, 2001 Me: (filling up a natty light can with gas from lighter)..this will be sooo cool, watch this shit, hey watch this. Girls in room: okay, dont burn anything though My boy: hahahahah.. Me: (lights the can, and instantly blue flame flares out the top and onto my thumb, igniting it and my arm hair) HOLY SHIT! Girls: OH MY GOD! My boy: hahahahahahah.. Me: (rubbing my burnt thumb and arm.) Whoa fuck, that turned you on huh, want me to do it agian? Girls: LEAVE!! My boy: hahahhaa... Me: shit... Then... Me: (at waffle house with 5 other drunk guys..) shit, didnt i just eat that...? Waitress: Yes, but you just threw up. Me: oh...ok, well i dont have to pay for it twice then huh? Waitress: Leave... ------------------ Above the clouds, Above the clouds.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PaperbackWriter Posted April 24, 2001 Share Posted April 24, 2001 Lowest point of my life--So I'm lying on the sidewalk eating crazy bread off my stomach on st. patty's day--i was fuckin plastered i tells you!--and this really attractive sorority girl stumbles over and asks for a piece of crazy bread, so I'm all "you can have the one on the dilznick, baby!" surprisingly, she was down with this...fuck yeah for drunk quotes, they eliminate any shame on my part! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Poop Man Bob Posted April 24, 2001 Share Posted April 24, 2001 This is someone on the board. Someone who drinks Zima. Weak, dude. http://www.12ozprophet.com/ubb//biggrin.gif'> http://a.PostMyPic.com/a.nsf/Z/DRUNKZAER/$file/DRUNK.JPG'> ------------------ Toilets are for the uninspired. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fatguydist Posted April 24, 2001 Author Share Posted April 24, 2001 HEY THAT MY SKETCH!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maskoner Posted April 24, 2001 Share Posted April 24, 2001 looks like dood be throwing back a budweiser... someone else musta drank all "dem" zimas... "yo dist, did i do acid last night?" fat guy sucks down bitch brew faster than a cat can lick his ass... YEEHAW! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MASk! Posted April 24, 2001 Share Posted April 24, 2001 Zima whats the deal with that shit i was wondering who or where they drink that shit is it in rotation down south or something? I cant say ive ever seen anyone drinking those here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fatguydist Posted April 24, 2001 Author Share Posted April 24, 2001 i have made it pretty clear on here im not a beer guy... i like bitch brew so what... i am still drunk way before the end of the night./.. "whats sad is i remember taking none of these pictures" "hey wanna see my new belt" "i got a new belt wanna see" "did i show you my belt" "hey that tiffany girl wants to fuck you" me: gross.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maskoner Posted April 24, 2001 Share Posted April 24, 2001 "ok... now you kiss me." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fatguydist Posted April 26, 2001 Author Share Posted April 26, 2001 "hey are you a virgin??...." ".........no......." " oh " will you have sex with me?? no fuck me please no fuck me you bastard.. your scaring me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
apedrape Posted April 26, 2001 Share Posted April 26, 2001 its one thing when youre hitting it that night, but when the next morning rolls around and youre going for round two, you know its over.....too much..... especially when you see her a couple days later, but at this point, i dont really give a fuck,... as long as my friends dont find out.im gonna put an end to this drinking shit..... no wait, lifes boring sober, i forgot.....ugly ones need lovin too, right?...peace in the y2k+1 shit... im a biter Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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